Secret Sex: Matheus Fernandes

Matheus Fernandes is a contestant on The Glee Project. Born in Brazil, he moved to America at a young age and quickly developed a passion for pop music. Also, he is a person of, ahem, short stature. A little person, a dwarf or whatever you might call such an individual.

Personally, I never really liked Matheus on the show for three reasons—a) he isn’t the best singer, b) Ryan Murphy kept forcing him to be “sexy”, and c) he somehow managed to be a huge whiner and cocky bastard at the same time. On top of that, I’m Team Marissa, so I hate pretty much everyone else on the show who isn’t her. Except for maybe Alex (good voice), Samuel (hot face) , Damien (endearingly awkward) and Hannah (goofy attitude). Emily was awesome too. That bitch should have won, but they were worried she’d upstage Santana.

But I digress. The point of this post? I have a few friends who think Matheus is super hot, and they keep asking me if it’s okay to have a boner for him. Why do people think I’m the all-knowing authority on erections? Look, he’s over eighteen, has a good body and a cute face. If you can look past his tearful outbursts and utter lack of talent, then I fully encourage you to masturbate whilst thinking about him. Okay?

– Dewitt

To watch Matheus being “sexy”, follow the JUMP:

778 thoughts on “Secret Sex: Matheus Fernandes

  1. He was incredibly irritating and I’m glad he’s gone. Now if Lindsay and Alex would get the fuck out I’d be happy. Cameron used to be my favorite, and he’s still sexy, but he’s been rather annoying the last two episodes.

    I’m team Damian and Hannah. What can I say? I love Irishmen and fat gingers.

  2. when he started to strip during his solo all I can think was “awkward”. It just did not work.

  3. He is definitely cute but not sexy. That’s why it was so uncomfortable when Murphy had him strip and try to be a sex symbol. I’m team Damian by the way.

  4. Found him SO completely annoying and remarkably untalented.  (And they accuse Alex of being cocky?)  Marissa is a joke and so completely a carbon copy of Rachel that it’s not funny.  I like Cameron’s vibe and performance style but the “I can’t kiss a girl because I’m Christian” thing was pretty annoying.  (And Ryan, if you want to write a Christian character, how about writing it for someone who isn’t a Christian–y’know, it’s called acting.)  I’d really like Samuel or Hannah to win.  Samuel is talented, quirky and super hot.  Hannah is great–but the show’s resident fat chick would blow her out of the water.

  5. lets see some real men over 40 for a change..gettin real tired of the constant twinkie smoothies on here

  6. Well I think he is cute in his own way, but now if we want to talk about a sexy “little person”  give me Bill Klein from TLC’s  “The Little Couple”  that is truly a pocket cub.!  

  7. WHAT? Sorry – short people are SOOOOOO HOT!
    Go to south american, central american, caribbean especially CUBA and you will be blown out of your Calvin Klein’s so fast your head will not have time to spin like Linda Blair – because even in gay men – machismo and latin culture sooooooooooooooo seduce your senses –
    Short? What the hell is that as a piece of
    judgmental crap!? I mean – anyone is sexy
    regardless of height. But if you feel you
    are not attracted to SHORT PEOPLE, talk to
    Randy *Short People Got No Reason to Live* and realize it was satire.

    Get a sense of humour.

    Oh did I say the 4 inch extra foreskin’s on Puerto Rican gay men is enough you want to move there full time and be a sex slave to men that are usually 5’4″ – 5’8″,

    Get a life.

    The correct expression you could have used to be less a dick would be to write

    I’m personally not attracted to short men, I find men my height and taller very much a turn on. I’m a whiney bitch who likes to be dominated until I cry before I’m used up by a big bad man.

    That would be the proper ettiquette to not sound like you are prejudice to the vertically challenged, at least to your standards. Language is important – learn it, use it properly, you’re holding up the world from evolving.

  8. That was a joke, Atlas – holding up the world … from evolving? Oh forget it. It’s okay to be a dick. Gay people are so excessively judgmental – it’s just a blessing from GOD that I’m made to like a little pussy. You need to be whipped.

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