Secret Sex: Ben Roethlisberger

Before you read any further, we should make one thing clear–Ben Roethlisberger is not someone I’d have sex with. Wait, huh? If that’s the truth, then why is the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback appearing in our Secret Sex series? You see, it’s sort of complicated. When I see a picture of this guy, my loins are immediately confused.

Until this morning, I hadn’t read the full details of his sexual assault charges. He comes off as the worst stereotype of an NFL football player. A despicable, entitled man with a drinking problem. Someone who thinks the world should bow down on its knees and drain every ounce of cum from his Super Bowl champion cock.

Now, here’s the thing… Solely based on physical appearances alone, Roethlisberger is exactly the type of guy I’d go for. He’s got that teddy bear charm, complete with a full beard and broad-shouldered beefiness. Even the mole on his left cheek is kind of sexy. Honestly, if I remained blissfully ignorant of his criminal actions, I could masturbate to pictures of his smile alone…

Yet this is no longer the case. There’s no avoiding the fact that he’s a douchebag. It may be easier to accept if you’re not attracted to him (or rooting for the Green Bay Packers), but it’s not easy for a guy like me. I look at Roethlisberger and wonder, “Why can’t you be the fun-loving football stud I want you to be?” There’s no reply. Because there’s no good answer.

– Dewitt

To check out more pictures of Ben Roethlisberger, follow the JUMP:

22 thoughts on “Secret Sex: Ben Roethlisberger

  1. I was thinking the exact same thing today. He’s is SUCH a fucking hunk, but a complete jerk-off. Seems like he has a lot of sexual frustration.

  2. I am a diehard Steelers fan (and they will win on Sunday, btw), but I would take Aaron Rodgers over Ben Roethlisberger ANYDAY! Rodgers is a yummy, yummy man!

  3. Totally agree … he’s physically hot as hell, but as a person he’s a royal jerk. Aaron Rodgers has moved way up my hot QB list 🙂

  4. Ben is nothing more then white gang banga, with athlectic ability, but a pea size brain, and instead of being in the Super Bowl, should be sharing a cell with his bros. And hopefully getting what he deserves up his ass every day

  5. and one more thing, there is NOTHING Hot,Cute,or Loveable about him, his own Mother probably couldn’t stomach looking at that face.
    Probably why he has to rape women to get off.

  6. This guy is a disgusting pig who is so ugly and such a douchebag that the only way he can probably get women is to lock them in a room with him, have someone stand guard, and assault them in any way he can get away with. He should be locked up, not idolized, adored, lusted after, or anything else.

    Now Aaron Rodgers…,that’s a guy I would totally bend over for!

  7. boo/hiss for him and he is really not all that,,,,now aaron rogers and mark sanchez (jets) are some hot QB’s!

  8. This should have been a “Who would you rather” between the QB’s….after checking I would have to agree with some of the other poster on here and take Aaron Rogers….that’s a good looking man.

  9. This man is UGLY inside AND out!! Terrible true stereotype about many gay guys: Your character/marital status/actions doesn’t matter, as long as you’re semi attractive and have a working dick.

  10. I concur! Give me Aaron Rodgers or Mark Sanchez (or Sam Bradford or Drew Brees, etc.) over “Big Ben”.

  11. Good god, talk about scrapping the bottomh of the quarterback barrell! HELL NO! His disgusting behavior is all I need to know Now my secret quarterback crush. Joe Flacco of the Baltimore Ravens. 6’6 238 pounds of New Jersey White boy deliciousness!

  12. Flacco is Hot, even as he gets older Warner is still a hottie too, and Drew brees can do what ever he wants with me.

  13. Flacco is Hot, even as he gets older Warner is still a hottie too, and Drew brees can do what ever he wants with me.

  14. Big Ben was WAY up there for me..honestly I must say..even as others were turning their backs on him..I think he had the biggest chance of his career to turn ALL of his past (well, maybe a LOT of it anyway) with a SB win, and making amends and peace with yourself and your community, and taking Super Bowl Monday as the First Day of the rest of your life..but..I must say..that while he IS a hunk, who happens to be super talented and has tried to come across as so cocky that..”watch, I’m so good I could win a super bowl in my sleep”..the recently uneartly video of him in a Texas Piano Karaoke Bar on Tues night, drinking until after 100 am at least, shows a guy who is ANYTHING but humble, or deserving of forgiveness
    One guy who comes to mind that I do admire (and I have always thought was hot as hell) is Kerry Collins. Ben reminds me of the kind of fuck up that Kerry was in his 20’s..but honestly Ben has a larger profile that Kerry already (with the 2 SB wins whereas Kerry has GONE to the SB but never won) and is bound to be put under the microscope even more.
    Too bad Kerry couldn’t take Ben under his wing and warn him away from making the mistakes he made
    btw..Kerry is still playing at 39..and just recently quietly passed Johnny Unitas on the all time passing list to come in at number 11, with Joe Montana currently at number 10.
    Say what you will about Kerry, but…I wondeer if Ben will still be paying when he’s 39 ??

  15. Ok DeWitt, but you do know that he’s a serial rapist asshole, so then why the frak is this guy even on here? I’m sorry you were into him before you learned about him, but you did and still chose to feature him. Really fucking tacky.

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