David Beckham’s Soccer Hazing Involved Jerking Off To A Dude

David Beckham had to jack his dick to photos of an 80s rugby champ to satisfy the initiation for Manchester United. Hazing is a beautiful thing.

This Thanksgiving we went around the table and said that for which we were thankful. My brother mentioned his kids (and golf), my Mom was most thankful for her family (and her iPad), and my response was “when straight guys on sports teams haze the rookies by making them do really homoerotic things as a way to sublimate their gayness.” It’s why the Mayflower set sail!

In a documentary called The Class of 92, Beckham revealed that his new teammates made him jerk his cock to pics of 80s rugby legend Clayton Blackmore.

Becks said he got the short-straw with his humiliation, squirming as he remembered: ‘One of mine was surprising! The Clayton Blackmore!’

Recalling his teen horror, he said: ‘Everyone had an initiation that you had to go through on the youth team, that was one of the most uncomfortable ones!’

‘The fact that I had to look at Clayton Blackmore’s calendar and do certain things, while looking at Clayton Blackmore…’

Why is he acting like it wasn’t an totally erotic experience? There’s a pic of Clayton Blackmore below. His jheri curl mullet has obviously launched a million spontaneous ejaculations.

Do you think Becks bopping his bologna to another dude is on tape somewhere? Were there video cameras in 1992? They were big and bulky, right? Probably couldn’t smuggle those into the locker room in your jock. Sadness.

– J. Harvey

Check out some shots of Becks from Esquire below:







This is Clayton Blackmore. Who wouldn’t pound it to this guy?




9 thoughts on “David Beckham’s Soccer Hazing Involved Jerking Off To A Dude

  1. I wouldn’t pound it to either of those guys. Beckham looks like a pissed-off spolied brat and Blackmore looks like a chick with a mustache, kinda like a younger version of your Grandma, I suppose. No thank you.

  2. All those years being married to Pushy “I AM Smiling, dammit!” Spice would make anyone look a little haggard…

  3. Clayton’s a hottie for sure! I can just imagine a thick bushy massive uncut rod down there as well! Typical 80’s style fuck yea!!

  4. I might be picking on minor details, but, uhm… Rugby? Where did that come from? Clayton plays soccer… That said, even though I wouldn’t do it, that face is asking to be covered with something… XD

  5. some thing tells me it wasn’t the only time he spank the monkey with the boys, I’d only do him if he wore longselves, all that ink is a turn off.

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