Weekly Top Ten: Kelis Is Somehow Unstoppable

We absolutely love Kelis. We really do. But after the great Steve Holcomb incident of 2010, how is no one suspicious by her four-week winning streak on our Weekly Top Ten charts? While “Scream” is an excellent dance track, some folks might argue that Pink or Robyn deserve a crack at the number one spot. Will they get their chance in this round?

It’s impossible to say. However, we can tell you who won’t have the opportunity to dethrone the self-proclaimed “first girl to scream on a track”. Kylie Minogue, Willow Smith, Taio Cruz and the Scissor Sisters didn’t gain enough votes to stay on the countdown, so we had to send them packing along with Wild Card rejects Pixie Lott and Kaci Battaglia.

So how does this all work? If you’re a Weekly Top Ten virgin, take a moment to fondle Carter while I explain the rules to you. Each week you’ll be presented with ten songs. You get to vote for up to three that you’d like to see move on to the next week. From those results, we’ll take the five tunes with the highest percentages, a song we save and four other contributions. These selections will make up the following week’s charts.

Wishing there was a “none of the above” option? Well, quit your bitching and tell us what you want to see on the charts by leaving a suggestion in the comments. We listen to nearly every song you recommend, and if we think it’ll have a chance… you might see it here next time around!

– Dewitt

To check out the charts and cast your vote, follow the JUMP:

  1. Kelis – Scream (LW – 1, W5): Okay, so we’re really not accusing anyone of rigging the votes, but we will start pointing fingers if she sweeps the countdown for another ten weeks. With a David Guetta beat and some fierce moves, this bitch deserves to be in the top position.
  2. Pink – Raise Your Glass (LW – 2, W5): We would like to raise our glasses to Pink for tacking a decent and memorable song onto our greatest hits collection. Please take note, nearly every other musical artist in the world. This is how you thank your fans for supporting your career. Lil Wayne cameos and references to threesomes are totally unnecessary.
  3. Robyn – Indestructible (LW – 5, W3): A couple of days ago, the music video for this track dropped. It’s basically a bunch of people fucking, along with Robyn wearing some weird contraption with tubes. In other words? It’s totally awesome. Team Robyn, all the way!
  4. Duffy – Well, Well, Well (LW – 9, W2): Wait, how did this happen? Several readers complained that Duffy’s vocals were downright terrible on this song, yet you somehow voted her into fourth place. Sometimes, we don’t really understand your logic, but we’re just going to smile, nod and move on with our lives.
  5. Rihanna – Only Girl (In The World) (LW – 3, W8): Should we move forward to RiRi’s next single “What’s My Name”? Or would you prefer we wait until the music video drops? We’re more “Torn” than Natalie Imbruglia. While this song still gets our adrenaline pumping, it’s certainly been on the countdown for a long time…
  6. Ke$ha – We R Who We R (LW – 8, W2): At this moment, we imagine the Sassy Gay Friend coming out of nowhere and asking us, “What are you doing? What, what, WHAT are you doing?” It may be entirely out of character for us to save Ke$ha, but we’re going to do it whether you (or we) like it or not. Deal with it.
  7. Katy Perry – Firework (DEBUT): Pyrotechnic boobs! That’s really all you need to know about this song. With this one track, Katy Perry may have single-handedly made up for the atrocities known as “I Kissed A Girl” and “Ur So Gay”. MAYBE. This goes out to anyone who’s ever felt like a plastic bag. Keep your heads up, and maybe one day you’ll shoot fire out of your nipples.
  8. Nelly Furtado – Night Is Young (DEBUT): While this isn’t Nelly Furtado’s best piece of work, it’s still enough to get the dance floor bumping. It’s almost enought to convince me to pick up her greatest hits collection, except for the fact that I already own every single one of her albums…
  9. Nicki Minaj f/ will.i.am – Check It Out (WILD CARD): After delivering scene-stealing verses on tracks like “Monster” and “Bedrock”, it’s a shame Nicki Minaj’s yet to create a solo track that lives up to her full potential. With that said, we’re willing to settle for this, even if the line about haters killing themselves makes us sort of uncomfortable. Um, it gets better?
  10. The Band Perry – If I Die Young (WILD CARD): One will.i.am track is enough on these charts. Just kidding! The Black Eyed Peas will perform much better after the release of their super-futuristic music video for “The Time (The Dirty Bit)”, so we thought we’d give this Wild Card runner-up a second chance.

157 thoughts on “Weekly Top Ten: Kelis Is Somehow Unstoppable

  1. C’mon, Dewitt! Where’s Katy Perry on the ballot? Firework is sensational and my first choice, Robyn, second and then the Band Perry. will this count as a vote for Ms Perry-Brand?

  2. My vote goes to P!nk, Rihanna, and Kelis. I’ve never voted for Kelis beofre, but the other options don’t really do it for me! I’m still bitter Kelis’ “Acapella” didn’t last longer than it did, lol, but “Scream” is alright…

  3. Since Firework is missing from the ballot I will vote for it this way:


    My other two votes are for Duffy and the Band Perry.


  4. OK, first two things:
    1. How come Kelis start in last place week after week and then is #1?
    2. I don’t like the Katy Perry track that much, but you need to fix the pool so those who are into fireworks and exploding boobs can do their bidding.

    I voted for Duffy, Nelly and The Band Perry (by the way, thanks for giving them a second chance here). My suggestion for next week is Take That’s new single “The Flood” which is dropping on November 8th in the UK.

  5. I voted for Duffy, despite how annoying her vocal is, because the backing track (by the Roots, no less) absolutely kicks ass.

  6. Where is Fireworks? >:| Pregnancy, exploding boobs, gay teens, bullying, and magicians are -important- social topics.

    This song belongs on the countdown.

  7. Fix that poll. Is making Ke$ha the lead and that’s totally messed up. I second the suggestion for the new Take That single.

  8. Yeah…Kelis being number 1 these four weeks is odd…she IS always behind every time I check, but somehow gets to number 1 at the last minute. Suspicious.

    Also…PLEASE fix the poll, or start it over. I’d like to vote for the Katy Perry song too.

  9. Glad to see some country music in this list. I like also the Nelly Furtado track. My suggestions for next week are “Higher” by The Saturdays and “For the first time” by The Script.

  10. Voted riri this wk. Hot song and great beat.

    I would wait a bit to release “what’s my name”. Let “only girl” simmer for a bit longer and then release “whats my name” whenever the video comes out.

  11. I went with Duffy, Nelly and The Perry Band. I want to suggest “My Wicked Heart” by Diana Vickers. Apparently she sampled a Chilli Peppers song and they are going to sue her for using elements of it without permission.

  12. I recommend Dollphace f. Snoop Dogg “Let’s Goto Vegas Rmx” Really fun song! You should check it out! Oh, and also Rihanna/s “What’s My Name f. Drake” Very catchy!

  13. I can’t believe the poll hasn’t been fixed yet. As long as Kelis doesn’t come on top for a fifth week. I like the Diana Vickers song, although is not her best single. Apparently she took the chorus of Under the Bridge for this song, but after watching the video I guess Shakira and Britney will sue her to for copying ideas from She Wolf and Circus. My votes went to The Band Perry, the incredible Nelly Furtado and the lovely Duffy.

  14. I’m not voting either until I can vote for Katy’s exploding breasts. When I can Vote it will be for Katy, Pink and Duffy.

  15. The poll has been fixed! To keep things fair, I set Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj up with as many votes as Ke$ha, so they’re all stuck in sixth place. Sorry for the mistake…

    – Dewitt





  17. Chris – I totally agree with you.

    When you look back at the comments for Nelly’ song, every one of them was a good review. She is getting destroyed in this poll. I think it is because she does not have a vid out yet. I also think Pink would be #1 if she had a video.

  18. We are voting for songs and not for videos. Music is important no matter the medium. By the way, the Nelly Furtado song it has already a video out.

  19. KLF:

    When people click on the link, it either takes them to a song clip or an entire video. You can’t tell me that songs with no videos to them are at an unfair advantage. We live in a visual world. Songs that have vids are put at an unfair advantage.

    Why is it just Nelly’s song and no video?

  20. I’m kinda new to the top ten game, so not really sure how to do this. Dewitt, I’d like to suggest you check out Katie Melua’s The Flood. It isnt as recent as these songs but I think she is amazing. The purity to her voice is breath taking. I have never heard someone with as much control over their vibrato as her. Oh btw, the video is chalk FULL of eye candy!

    Heres the link

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