You may have heard that the boys of Jersey Shore were “tricked” into posing for the cover of The Village Voice‘s annual queer issue. As if that weren’t enough, the magazine also includes an article by Tony Phillips entitled “The Guido Ideal”, in which the author explores the Jersey shore’s rampant down-low culture.
Oddly enough, people seem to be ignoring the really important part of this story–they posed for more than one damn picture. Take a moment to join us as we pretend not to drool over these insignificant fame-whores. They don’t call it a “guilty pleasure” for nothing…
– Dewitt
To check out more pictures, follow the JUMP:
The guy on the left looks fat.
Do straight guys ever have pierced nipples?
he’s just more muscular. why is it always about weight with you fuckers
im sorry, whats the attraction here???
guess you have to be a guido.
I’ll take all three. At one time. Check please.
Ronnie is definitely beefier and I fucking love it.
Love how someone says “The guy on the left looks fat.” Really? Cause if you look at the last picture he has abs… It’s pretty much all muscle. There just always has to be something wrong apparently.
Vinny’s hot! I also love Pauly D, too bad he’s not here 🙁
In the right “situation” he would be gay for pay
I REALLY cannot wait until their 15mins are up.
Jim, I don’t think it even has to be the right situation, he’s such a famewhore he’d go gay just for the publicity.
I agree Tim, I cant wait either.
What’s with all the photoshop on their bodies?
They look inbred/the East Coast inbred look!
Not sexy at all.
The only hot one there is the thick looking one. The other 2 look like total flamers.
I’m a reluctant transplant to the southern NJ area and, not that the west coast guys are without fault – the dumb “surfer dudes” are “fer-sure” a sad reality, we’re not dissing them right now. We’re talking Guidos. One of the first things I realized here was that while the “boys” from the Jersey “Shore” are nice to look at, these guys are for the most part completely bereft of any higher brain function, narcissistic and generally self deluded into thinking that their extreme nelly behavior and appearances make them anything less than masculine. They think the Stallone-like grunts and utterances are “cool,” and spending more time and money on waxing, plucking, sculpting and even applying makeup than the Jersey Girls is appealing to that (or any other) gender. Worse, they truly believe that they are “butch” and masculine, while so quick to play “hide the cannoli” behind closed doors. That helps me since I love an occasional deep fried, cream filled pasta confection! A word of warning, ration yourself as too many can be hard to swallow.
Oddly, when you take a look at Jersey Girls, you realize just how reversed the traditional gender rolls are here. They are crude, crass, unrefined and generally devoid of any class, presenting behavior usually associated with drunken longshoremen in a bar on payday. Grace Adler said it best when describing them as having,”big hair and bad accents!” My favorite bartending story is one Jersey Girl telling another that she has to try “that white gre-natch-yee, it’s so trez’ cheek.” I had to go to the storage room to let out the belly laughs that would otherwise have caused bouts of incontinence if held in too long.
On any given Friday or Saturday night you can sit back and watch the freak show begin. The guys smelling like a perfume factory exploded next to them, hair sprayed and gelled to a greasy concrete hardness, their always obligatory fake gold chains displayed against waxed and artificially bronzed chests with shirts unbuttoned nearly to their navels; the girls with hair so wildly and insanely teased high, dyed flat shoeblack tones, makeup that is rivaled only by circus clowns (with poorly lit dressing rooms) and looking like they used a broad-tipped black Magic Marker for eye liner; clothing so unbelievably tight and revealing that it is a wonder they don’t catch a yeast infection just walking by each other, pounds and pounds of cheap bling that would leave Mr. T sick with envy, cleavage so prominently and amply displayed (with the help of stuffing in many cases), all the while feigning shock and dismay that the heterosexual men don’t see them as anything but a walking rack and punch-box. Last weekend I actually heard one Jersey Girl, complete with stereotyped makeup just described and combined with “clothing” that would make an experienced prostitute blush with modesty, tell the group of Guidos she was playing pool, downing shots and having loud belching contests with, “I’m not that kind of girl!” as one tried to flick beer caps her gaping chest canyon with tissue paper creeping out the edges and into the massive camel-toe of strained and swollen genitalia, much like that of a female baboon “on heat,” that could be seen from clear across the bar.
Class. Real Class. Miss Emily’s Charm School is now out for the summer.
I don’t care how hot anybody is, the minute they appear on a reality TV show, I’m disinterested. Not that any of these guys are hot, because they look like orange plastic shallow perfectionists. I’d venture to say they’re all impotent too. Just a hunch.
The beefy guy is an amazing looking guy!
I dont find any of them attractive at all. Can tell they are all a bunch of losers even by there pics. A loser with a nice body is still a loser
@tallblondviking: Wow, you have time on your hands pal! Share some of that time please.
I’m not going to diss these guys. I like the show, it’s funny! But as far as looks, Mike can just walk away. Ronnie (the beefy one) has gained weight (fat) since the first season of the show. He was way hotter before, but he still is now. Vinnie, I would date him! He’s the only one who doesn’t seem so into himself, and his hair is cut really low, so none of the greasy as gel and spiked up hair. Hey, Vinnie! Call me!
Wow Ronnie used to be hot. What happened? They all look really terrible actually. Gross.
The Situation looks more like a hopeless SITUATION !!!
gross.
nice airbrushing
too funny…i love the village voice…i actually use to work for the parent company that now owns that publication…..LMAO!!!!
could their abs be any faker? if you’re going to airbrush abs on someone, dont do it on a chubster!
photoshopped to death from the neck up but who isn’t? let them enjoy their moment; hot pics.
if that’s as good as it gets at the Jerzy shore, i’ll stay away. without exception, everyone one of those blatinos was fat, ugly, badly dressed, twinky, or downright fugly. where are all the cute african-americans, blue-eyed anglos, and cute asians? Are they all living in Tribeca? Give me a break.
I’ll take Ronnie any day! *rowrrr!
None of them have sex appeal. And the on may have some abs..but they are covered in fat, Those of you who can’t see beyond the airbrushed bodies and faces should get off the computer and stop watching gay porn 24 hrs a day and get outside, meet real people, and basically get a fucking life
I’ll be glad when this show goes off air because it is in no way interesting to me…
Not into ethnic stereotypes and over the top douchebags…
If they didn’t know it was the “queer issue” then sucks for them. That’s why they need to do a bit more research before agreeing to appear in magazines that they know nothing about.
and look at the clothes they had them wear; those aren’t necessarily the “straightest” looking outfits…
give this “down low” mess a rest. why does it matter what other people are doing?
what you should be worrying about is the people who are sharing your bed. if you all are committed to eachother and not seeing anyone else then that’s just gravy. and if swapping partners is your thing; do it…
maybe if more people were worried about what was going on in their bedroom and not “peaking” into the windows of everyone else then maybe we would have a much happier society overall…
those dudes are fags. in the worst possible way.
They really give us “real” Italians a bad name and a bad stereotype. I am Italian, Sicilian to be exact to explain the nice, olive tan. Me and my family come from Brooklyn and Long Island, New York. I so can not stand these boys, yes I said boys because they certainty are not men.They really need to be taught a lesson to know what being Italian really is about.
the guy on the left looks fat
yes these boy waiting to become men all looked airbrushed and like the hot bag of dimes was hitting all their faces at warp speed .no of these plese totally bot feeling it not my kinda “situation” lol
i’m from north jersey, home of the guido. they are the guys i spent countless hours in school drooling over from across the room. these guys are hot! ESPECIALLY the thicker one on the left! i’m counting the days till i see their solo (or hopefully group) jack off and dildo videos!!!!!
Not bad. But that fake Reggaeton singer look is a total turn off for me.
These are not human beings. And no, it’s not fat or muscle, boys – It’s water retention from all the steroids. =) I respectfully say EW
But lol that they were “Tricked” into posing for a gay mag… =)
I never been more turned-off by the overated cast of “Jersey Shore”, I could care less who could be gay.
okay…yeah, I”m going with photoshopped abs…that goes without saying…
tricked into a shoot for a gay mag…don’t these idiots have a manager? didn’t they sign releases for what the pics would be used for?
Fugly homophobic american white trash.
Seriously anyone that finds these freaks sexy should go into therapy.