Secret Sex: The Jersey Shore Boys

Jersey Shore cast, classy

As terrible as Jersey Shore may be, I really can't deny it any longer–I'd do every one of the male cast members. Yes, you read that correctly. All of them, including Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Paul "DJ Pauly D" DelVecchio, Ronald "Ronnie" Ortiz-Magro and Vinny Guadagnino (who is curiously the lone cast member who doesn't have a ridiculous nickname).

I still haven't seen a single episode of this show, and I don't plan on ever seeing one. The four guys weren't particularly lust-worthy when I first set my eyes on them, but I had an epiphany when I saw this new photo shoot from In Touch Weekly. They clean up nicely! And underneath all that hair gel and attitude, they're all very attractive men. Ronnie is obviously my favorite. I mean, I'd suck all of their dicks, but Ronnie could go all the way

While I know I'm not the only one who'd bang these guys, it still shames me to admit that I want all of their balls slapping against my chin. I can't be the only slut in the room! Who else would take them all on at the same time? Maybe we can share, because I've (surprisingly) never had four cocks to myself at one time.

– Dewitt

For a closer look at the guys in this shoot, follow the JUMP:

DJ Pauly D & The Situation:

DJ Pauly D, Paul DelVecchio, The Situation, Mike Sorrentino, Jersey Shore

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro:

Ronald Ortiz-Magro, Ronnie, Jersey Shore

Vinny Guadagnino:

Vinny Guadagnino, Jersey Shore

11 thoughts on “Secret Sex: The Jersey Shore Boys

  1. i know this a bit off-topic from what we’re typically looking at, but sammi sweetheart looks so good in this photo!

  2. Tyzerd… HELL FUCKING YEAH Jwoww looks hot as hell here. I wouldn’t even touch her the way she looks on the show, but here, damn i’d marry her. Ronnie USED to be my favorite, right now, on the show, he’s the hottest, best body. But i saw some footage on ET or something and dude has gained some weight, and not muscle weight. But i always thought Vinnie was the cutest.

  3. ok i have seen like 2 episodes of the show and the pics of the first 3 guys dont really seem to fit. they are hotter in less clothing. But the pic of the last guy seem to do him justice.

  4. Of the two times I’ve watched the show, I haven’t seen Vinny, Mike is conceited as hell and Pauly needs a professional hairstylist in the worst way. Ronnie is far too hot and sweet to be involved with this cast of idiots (and that includes the slut roommates). New Jersey is one state I have no desire to visit.

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