Secret Sex: Swan of Finland

This is, quite possibly, my favorite edition of Secret Sex ever. The Swan of Finland is a 42 year-old gentleman in Las Vegas who wears many hats—competitive bodybuilder, model, (straight) porn star, stripper and “rock star”. He’s actually very easy on the eyes! You know, if you’re into mature guys with muscular builds, giant smiles and thick uncut cocks.

In fact, as you scroll through his pics, some of you might feel a tingly sensation in your man parts. This is unavoidable. It happens to the best of us… Unfortunately, this momentary pleasure will cease to exist when you watch the video for his original song “Do Me Tonight”. It will blow your mind. In the worst way possible.

– Dewitt

Photo credit: D. Fleming

To check out more pics and watch “Do Me Tonight”, follow the JUMP:

You’re not ready for this. Really.

165 thoughts on “Secret Sex: Swan of Finland

  1. Wow, that video was something else!  I can’t believe someone told this guy, “Yeah, it’s awesome!  Put that shit on YouTube!”

  2. You need to check out Anton Hysen, he’s a gay footballer in Sweden.  Super hott and would be great for a Secret Sex or something!

  3. Like a lot of models, the guy is hot in pictures (the camera does love him),  but when you see him in the video (and obviously that horrible music, and his even worse attempt at singing not withstanding) … not so much.

  4. Wow, so awful.  Hope the women got paid.  And then the whipped cream trick at 1:49 — NO NO NO.

  5. My ears are bleeding haha, it looks like he’s reading off cue cards, very hard to memorise those lyrics, so let me lick it, let me suck it, Challenging.

  6. He should have kept the helmet on and his mouth shut….

    I couldn’t make it through the video.  I’ve made it through Twilight, The Human Centipede, Shock Treatment, and  just about every black-and-white creature feature out there, but I can’t make myself sit through that.

  7. If anything, that song made me want to fuck him more. His name is The Swan of Finland. That’s all I need to hear to bend over.

  8. I like how it looks like he’s reading a teleprompter throughout the whole video.

    Remarkable that anyone decided to invest any money in this…

  9. I’m making my comment brfore I see the vid..
    I Love the look of this all-man man. If he has a gay brother, I’m in!

  10. Yhat is truly the shittiest muxic clip I have ever seen.
    His grooming is criminally offensive.
    The explosion of white fluid from his underpants is ludicrous.
    Despite being repeated so much I still cannot understand the lyrics
    The porn girls use of props is maybe a tad trite..
    WELL DONE finding this hilarious trash!

  11. There something good 2 not being able 2 understand a word he said  I won’t hear it repeatedly playing over & over again in my head ……………………


  13. so he makes str8 porn?  anyone have any suggestions on where to find some of it?  wouldn’t mind seeing him in action lol

  14. come on, guys.

    why are you giving this guy Shit for what obviously is a comedy presentation??

    the swan, of course, knows this song is not a “traditional” listen.
    he’d just wanted some fun, was all.

    (i wish i could have some “fun” of my own widd’m.)

  15. I think I need to watch the Rebecca Black videos again and see if my opinion of her changes…

  16. Hyvin sä vedät Juha, ihan syötävä! En mä muistanut että olit noin hyvin varustettu…no, nyt muistan… 😉

  17. On poika alas vajonnut. Onkohan aineissa? Ei ihme, ettei kehtaa enää omaa nimeään käyttää. No, USAssa on oppinut poju USAn tavoille.


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