While indulging in my obsession with the Maverick Men, I came across a post which listed several euphemisms for masturbation. This led me to recognize how much I loathe the expression “tugging your tube steak”. I love masturbation, but there’s something really unattractive about referring to your penis as a “tube steak”.
I know it’s nothing more than a few words, and I should really just get over myself. However, it made me realize that I’m not the only one who has these quirks. Some people hate the word “moist”. And I can recall one incident where a reader shunned my usage of “baby batter”.
Since the topic’s been on my mind all weekend, I thought I’d ask–what sexual euphemisms make you incredibly uncomfortable or angry? Are there any that you’re particularly fond of? Take some time to answer these questions, while I spend some time “calming my dog while it thunders”…
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Extra Big Dicks
To check out Jeremy Bilding and Alexander Garrett’s “tube steaks”, follow the JUMP:
I once had my then-boyfriend refer to my cock as my “uncut torpedo”. As opposed to all those cut torpedoes out there…
“Boy pussy, beer-can-cock” and “climax” are the 3 that make me wanna poke my ears and eyes out! I’ve had a guy actually say “I’m gonna climax!” It was very much a pull out and get out moment for me…
Any kind of reference to an asshole as a “pussy” or a “mangina.” Total turn off. If you want pussy go fuck a woman.
I’m with Randall.
‘boy pussy,” “man pussy,” “man cunt.”
Also “peen.” It’s a stupid word, in my opinion. Call it what it is: cock, dick, penis.
In my native language we have “draadtrek”, which means pulling the wire, “velleklap”, meaning to flapping skin and then “riemruk”, meaning to pull on a ream. All off this for masturbation but the one word that everybody loves is “Tos”. I hate is when a guy says that he wants to “naai” – do needlework as opposed to “steek” or stab…… You are right when you these are just words. Funny how people can see something sexual in everyday things….
OMG!!! Luv this one! Rather than rimm my “ass”, one dude told me he could not wait to clean out my “shit chute” with his tongue!!! Too bad, like any civilized gay man I had douched before he arrived. Plus that euphemism was a total dick softener …. had to show him the door
I only have one I love to use a lot which is actually for female masturbation, “flicking the bean”. Haven’t found a girl that likes that saying though.
I hate the terms “Feed Me” and “Breed him” disgusting
I agree Bill, when people use “breed” it makes my flesh crawl.
Like many of the guys who have already posted, a “deal breaker” for me are guys who refer to their “Man pussy”, “Mangina”, “Cunt”, etc…nasty…if pussy excited me, I would not be with another guy…duh…
I also hate the term “breed”…again, if I was interested in breeding some babies, I would be with a woman…
So, to sum things up, I like MEN…ones whose parts all have masculine names/references…
One slang expresion I find amusing (gross, but still fun) is “clean your kitchen”, meaning to rim…
Yeah, ‘pussy’ as a euphemism for ‘anus’ is a bit of a turn off for me. For me, though ‘sissy’ and ‘fairy’ are huge turn offs, far more than any other term for a gay man. If a guy likes verbal abuse and humiliation I’ll call him ‘faggot’, ‘queerboy’, ‘pussyboy’ and a lot of other derogatory things, but never ‘sissy’ or ‘fairy’.
why do people use the tern boy pussy, damn what a turn off
Seems like everyone stole my thunder! I have been posting several times in reference to one guy who insists on calling it a cunt. WE ARE NOT WOMEN! So I guess I would say anything that tries to blur the lines between men and women parts. Hate it! Well… Except for Queen. It just fits some guys….
I was once riding this Texan cowboy, when all of a sudden I heard him hollar “You gonna Produce Some Sperm for me, boy? Yeah, Come on – Produce Some Sperm!” It took all my energy to keep from laughing and produce some sperm all over his chest!
I can’t stand anything that compares a man’s ass to a vagina. I also hate hearing “breed me.” Say either one of those and I’ll go totally soft and the moment is lost. I prefer guys to be straightforward and say what they want. If they want to suck my cock. Say it. Don’t say you want to slob on my knob.
Neels’ comments reminded me of a funny story. Back when Buick released the LaCrosse sedan in North America, they learned that the term “la crosse” was Quebec slang for masturbation (or, in the news stories, known as another euphemism, “self love”), so they called the car something else in Canada. However, a few years later they decided the name wasn’t so bad and made it the same all across North America.
Worst line ever came from this totally hot, but wierd leather daddy at SC Pride 2009. He actually walked up to me and says, “Hey there stud, I’d love to tongue your turd-box!” He then says, “I know it’s hot out here, and I like’em swampy!” Would have rather just been shot on sight! Avoided him the rest of the weekend!
I would never use it in the heat of the moment, but in the favored terms category, I once read about getting a guy to “rock and roll in your fudge hole.” For some reason, that always makes me smile.
juice wallet
I hate the term baby batter, babies should not enter into dirty talk at all, total boner shrinker. Also the verb “to nut.” Not sure why but maybe because it’s usually said by gross old men (as opposed to hot old men haha).
I had a guy tell me to suck his pecker… I about died laughing. I hadn’t heard that since I was in Grade school….
Suck my pecker… Still makes me chuckle
Any phrase that makes our asses sound like cunts is unappealing to me. One phrase that Sean Cody in particular seems to like using is so-and-so “fucked the shit out of…”. That is just NOT a hot phrase to use because we all know it’s a buzz kill when it actually happens.
How about slapping the sausage…Really!?! Anything that refers to a cock like a piece of food, like gherkin gobbler or cucumber throater. Whats that all about? Although, I don’t mind bust a nut, just not all the time. I have to agree with everyone else that referring to one’s asshole as a pussy or cunt is just ludicrous.
“Hot-Beef Injection”, it makes me think that there is someone out there shooting up beef bouillon.
Boy pussy, man-cunt are the WORST!!
I find manpussy and boy vagina really aweful. If I had a pussy I would be okay with that word but I don’t I have a cock and an ass!
I had a guy say it wanted to “suck my wing-wang”.Pee-Pee, wing-wang,ding-dong, anything a kid calls his penis is OUT! One guys aid he wanted to “stick his tongue so far up my ass, next week’s turd would have his initials on it”. Deal breaker.
interesting…
…for some reason, i get the feeling that not many self-identified “tops” have said much in these comments.
StrappedNSC LOL U win hands down just reading your comment made my skin crawl I cannot imagine how sick U must have felt when he said it !! Like so many others I cannot stand when guys refer 2 there ass as a pussy I cannot stand that once when this guy ( very hot ) said I want U 2 pound my PUSSY with that big black dick and that just killed everything 4 me causing my my JACKHAMMER 2 lose power LOL a total DOWNER ..
I also hate when gay guys will refer 2 another gay guy as SHE