Gays Ruin Everything.

John Polly is right! Gays ruin everything. To demonstrate this point, I’m going to spoil this post about John Polly’s hilarious (and accurate) “Gays Ruin Everthing” by talking about how much I want to finger-bang John Polly. The answer is a lot, and I just single-handedly ruined human language, because nobody even posed that as a question… But, gosh, I really want to give John Polly a rimjob, and voicing this opinion perpetuates the stereotype that gays only care about sex, and they write run-on sentences, in which they continue to ruin everything.

On a more serious note, I got pissed off when I watched that admittedly sweet video of a dude proposing to his boyfriend to Betty Who‘s “Somebody Loves You” in the middle of a Home Depot. I knew I should be happy for these guys and be glad we live in a country where they can get married—even if they can’t be wed in their own state—but my immediate reaction was, “It’s kind of disgusting that people are turning such personal moments as wedding proposals into VIRAL VIDEOS.”

I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but if I were about to ask someone to spend the rest of their life with me, the first question on my mind wouldn’t be how we could get millions of views on YouTube… BUT MAYBE I AM JUST BITTER AND HAVE NO HEART?

I don’t know! Gays ruin everything. Even the happiness of other gays.

– Dewitt

Watch John Polly’s “Gays Ruin Everything” video below:



13 thoughts on “Gays Ruin Everything.

  1. I agree with you – unless – that one I loved and wanted to marry wanted it to be a big production. In that case, the world would be his and would still not be enough.

  2. You are just bitter. You don’t have to watch the video about the proposal at Home Depot in Utah but do you have to criticize what makes people happy especially gays in Utah?

  3. I would be more pissed if my boyfriend proposed to me at Home Depot. Note to any potential future husband. Do not propose to me at Home Depot, Lowes, Builders Square, Furrows, etc. unless you want a weed wacker to the head or on a lesser note a big fat NO. I want something a bit more romantic.

  4. A local TV interview with the couple provided a little more insight as to WHY Home Depot. They went on their first date there, a getting to know you date. The one who was proposed to showed his now-fiance around and talked about things he’d built. So it was where they first met…that takes it out of lesbian territory (because let’s face it, Home Depot is usually lesbian central) and makes it sweet.

  5. Well for them that’s cool. I mean if they’re happy. But for me it would not fly. I met one of my boyfriends while washing my hands in the restroom at a movie theater. Doesn’t mean that’s where I would’ve wanted him to propose. Lol! I just don’t see romance in a place that smells like wood, fertilizer, & bug poison. But to each their own.

  6. Oh man I want him!

    And come on DeWitt, the inspiration of that flash mob was seeing all their friends, parents and even grandparents celebrating with them. If my dad ever publicly acknowledged my boyfriend I would paste it on YouTube, Instagram, Tumblr, and Manhuntdaily.

  7. Haha….point taken. To each their own indeed. 🙂 I’d definitely want to be proposed to somewhere more romantic than Home Depot, but if that works for them, congratulations. 🙂

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