Ellen DeGeneres Is The New Paula Abdul

Ellen DeGeneres- David Beckham

In case you're wondering, the picture above has absolutely nothing to do with this post. We just like any opportunity to post pictures of David Beckham in his underwear. But on to other topics… lesbian extraordinaire Ellen DeGeneres has taken Paula Abdul's seat as the fourth judge on American Idol!

While her rants won't be nearly as incomprehensible and hilarious as Paula's, this seems like the perfect choice for a replacement. I mean, who doesn't love Ellen? If you say "me", I'm voting you off my island. And trust me, you don't want to be voted off my island. It's obviously full of hot naked men in loincloths with permanent erections. Or at least that's what it looks like when I close my eyes and think really hard.

– Dewitt

6 thoughts on “Ellen DeGeneres Is The New Paula Abdul

  1. ******************************************
    Not sure she is the right fit. Ellen’s guest hosting on SYTYCD was awkward at best. She has no musical expertise. As much as Paula was a goof, she was a long-term singer and knew the ins and outs of the music industry. Now what if Ellen’s talk show suffers in quality now? Can she really do both well?

  2. I like Ellen. I watch her talk show, even gone to her standup shows. However, she was horrible as a guest judge on SYTYCD. She offered no criticism, just generic praise for everyone – laced with lame jokes. Unless she improves drastically, this is going to be a huge disaster for her career.

  3. I would have to disagree with that. I think Ellen is perfect for the job. When Paula was akwardly weird, we laughed at it. Now we have an actual comedian up there who can think on her feet and make hilarious jokes. She may not have experience, but she knows good music and anyone can tell if someone sucks at singing.

  4. No one has yet brought up the OBVIOUS victory here for our planned homosexual agenda. Ellen’s addition to AI was step #274 in our distributed plan to indoctrinate American children. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. Soon the entire world will be GAY!

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