Secret Sex: Maulik Pancholy

Maulik Pancholy doesn’t technically belong in our Secret Sex category. He’s fucking adorable. If I ever had sex with him, I’d climb up on a roof and shout it out for the whole world to hear. Or maybe I’d write a Tony-winning musical about it called “Adventures All Up In Maulik Pancholy’s Butt Hole”.

Long story short, I think he’s totally hot. So why is he featured in our Secret Sex category? Because I get this sense that people don’t view him as “sexy”. From Sanjay on Weeds to Jonathan on 30 Rock, he’s always cast in such doofy roles. His characters are always the butt of every joke, whereas I’m much more interested in… well, his butt.

Does anyone else think this guy is extremely doable? Let’s start a campaign for him to avoid getting typecast in such silly parts! Like, he could star in an epic sexual thriller with lots of full-frontal nudity and huge explosions! And who would be his costar? Preferably, my dick.

UPDATE: Apparently, Malik was in a play with nudity. And he was playing the boyfriend of that hot dude from Cloverfield. All I have to say is “UNF”.

– Dewitt

To watch Maulik read erotic haikus about Alec Baldwin, follow the JUMP:

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