Have You Ever: Put Your Dick In A Food Item?

American-pie-like-warm-apple-pie

Moments after joking about sex with a roast beef sandwich, my lovely co-blogger Andy sent over a video of a guy fucking a watermelon. Perhaps we should have unofficially declared today as "National Food Sex Day"? If you're feeling the urge to wrap your cock in a Fruit Roll-Up, now is the time to live that dream.

The watermelon vid left me with a few questions. For starters, why would anyone with a dick that gorgeous even need to bang a piece of fruit? And of course, why would anyone with a dick that gorgeous need to bang a piece of fruit when there's another person in the room? This defies all logic.

If you thought I was done asking questions, you're dead wrong. I'm curious to know if any of you have ever done something like this. So let me ask–have any of you put your dick in a food item? How about an inanimate object? We promise we won't laugh, and even if we do… you won't be able to hear us.

– Dewitt

To watch the watermelon sex videos, follow the JUMP:


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13 thoughts on “Have You Ever: Put Your Dick In A Food Item?

  1. god!.. those videos are ALMOST a waste to my opinion, because i LOVE watermelon, and i wouldn’t eat that after what just happened..
    On the other hand.. i’ll definately suck on that watermelon flavored dick!!…
    p.s. i think those videos lead to an awesome ass-pounding session!!

  2. Actually it sounds like they kissed before he got going on the melon in the first video…Who know maybe they like the taste of melon on their cocks while doing a 69…On the other hand I immediately thought why don’t you just get a clear fleshjack.

  3. When I was younger, I had heard that putting your penis in a microwaved banana peel was the same feeling as having sex.
    It scalded the shit out of my dick and I learned to never let it near food items again.

  4. Wow. And to think that back in college we used to shoot vodka into our watermelons. I wonder what the new version would taste like…
    Actually, forget the melons. I’ll takt both of those impressive cocks instead!

  5. Damn, i wish my mouth, or my ass, were that watermelon.. damn, he fucks it very damn good!!
    Not precisly like that, but when I was young, around 13 and 14, I used to like to put some snowflakes on the bed and then lay down naked, lika banging the bed, with my cock and balls right where the flakes were. Then I jerked off and cum in the flakes and eat them.
    I also liked to use chamoy (a kins of sweet spicy sauce) that used to be on little bags and spread a little bit along some of my middleschool friends’ dick before sucking it up.
    Finally, I once read in Men’s health, in a special note about sex embarassing experiences, about a man who used to put around bacon or jam around his cock and then let his dog eat it from his dick. He said it was very exciting, except for the last time when he left his pet unfeed one day, and in hunger, the dog took a bite on his crotch.
    Once again, sorry for the crappy english.

  6. potblessed…Love your crappy English…don’t let the other posters (haters) on here make you apologize for anything you post. They can’t help themselves. America is and has always been a melting pot of people from different places and cultures. So, whether you live here or are posting from another country continue to post and use your crappy English. I for one will understand what your saying and don’t mind it at all.

  7. wow, I feel hugely immature…I spent most of my time giggling at the squishy noises….
    but now I just feel bad for the watermelon. ;_;

  8. I can’t imagine that feeling too good just thinking about the texture of watermelon but then i’ve never tried so i can’t tell. I used to use cooking oil to jerk off… and one night i spilled a shitload on the unpolished floorboards in the house and had to own up the reason i was using the oil to my folks…. Appart from that some popsicles were fun to play around with… And me and a friend used to put starburst lollies on our cocks while sucking each other…

  9. Never tried with a veggie unless you count some of the drunks I used to hook up with in my drinking days. Some of the guys were pactically comatose by the time I got them home and into bed. (lol) Does a FB dipping his dick in your Jake Daniels glass and then you licking/sucking the bourbon off his dick count? If so, then I’ve done it… and really enjoyed it (lol)….

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