The Oscars are coming up on Sunday, which is the kind of thing that I normally get at least a little bit excited about. This year it’s proving kind of difficult, though! Seth MacFarlane, creator of Family Guy, is for some reason hosting, and most of the nominated movies sound like depressing snoozeathons. A French drama about senile old people being mean to one another? Almost three hours of the hunt for Osama Bin Laden? An Andrew Lloyd Webber musical? Life of Pi?
It’s no secret that Oscar voters are all old white men—at last count, they were 94% white, 77% male, and 86% eligible to join the AARP. And it seems as if there’s nothing old white men seem to like more than giving awards to other old white men. Which is maybe why the median age of Best Supporting Actor nominees is 63.
While I’ve mentioned before that I would totally bang Daniel Day-Lewis, the real lookers among this year’s nominees are, of course, Bradley Cooper as the depressed antihero of Silver Linings Playbook and former Oscar host Hugh Jackman as superhero Jean Valjean in Les Misérables… If given the choice, which one would you rather present with a trophy on Sunday night?
(By “a trophy”, I mean “your hard dick”, if that wasn’t clear.)
– Lawrence
See some pics and cast your vote below:
HUGH JACKMAN:
BRADLEY COOPER:
how ’bout BOTH! 🙂
I’d take Seth McFarlane over either Hugh or Bradley. Closet cases may do it for Renee Zellwegger, but they don’t turn me on.
Hugh Jackman, if you’re gonna MAKE me choose. One quibble. Les Miserables isn’t a Lloyd Webber musical. It’s a Boublil/Schoenberg musical. Forgive me for being a cliche.
Technically, Bradley Cooper’s character in “Silver Linings Playbook” is bipolar, not clinically depressed. Sadly, I doubt the Academy will realize that this is the year’s best film, far better than the other nominees.
Finally, I resent having to choose between Hugh and Bradley. I choose Mr. Jackman, but I definitely would prefer to be tag-teamed by these two!
It’s a difficult choice. but I’m in lust with Bradley Cooper!
Oh why do I have to make this choice? But synced forced to, it’s got to be Hugh. He’s got the accent!
Why can’t I have them both?
Hugh all the way
Not knowing classic musicals? Time to revoke Lawrence’s membership card.
Hmmm… tough call. I’m going with Bradley Cooper… that smile is just too damn smooth.