The Secret to a Perfect Southern Decadence Trip

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, Labor Day weekend where your breeder neighbors have their final cookouts and you fly to New Orleans to become a breeder yourself. (I’m just kidding – always practice safe sex… or don’t – I’m a blogger, not a doctor). Nonetheless, it is time for Southern Decadence. 

Southern Decadence is gay Mardi Gras and I’m not missing it.

I don’t know about you but I can’t go to an event like this without the proper necessities. Sure, I have the mesh shirt and the jockstraps packed, but I knew I needed something else. Cleaner. VHS, leather, you name it, I need it cleaned. So I reached out to our friends at Double Scorpio and got the hookup. 

For those of you who don’t know: Double Scorpio is the cleanest, no pun intended, on the market. They have no filler, just Isobutyl Nitrite. It’s synthesized in small batches and kept in deep freeze storage until it is time to ship so it’s always fresh. They neutralize the acid in their products before bottling which minimizes burns from accidental spills and helps keeps headaches from vapors to a low. Which is a big deal for me, because I’m a baby when it comes to any form of discomfort. Just what you want to hear from a bottom, right? 

For each day, I had a new product to try. This is how it all went down. Thursday, I touched down in New Orleans and couldn’t check in to my hotel for a few hours. I walked into the first bar I saw that had a pride flag. I plopped down with all my stuff and within minutes I already had locals talking to me about the weekend to come. I highly recommend 700 Club in the French Quarter. Not to be confused with late-night Christian programming. The owners and bartender were top-notch guys.

Finally, it was time for the welcome party and the Battle of the Bulge. Sure, the show was a lot of fun but I was not prepared for the eye candy. Now, my taste is a spectrum. I love all men. But my favorite thing to do before, during, and sometimes after “meeting” a gentleman is decide who would play them in a movie. Makes it easier for me to describe them to my friends later. So this night, I met Jon Snow. And yes… winter came. I broke out my Double Scorpio Black. Now, I’ve used black before, so I knew what to expect. I wanted to ease into it. I love the aroma of it, it’s manly. Perfect for those nights where your harness is perfectly tight for tugging.

Friday night is when I was able to experience the Gold. That is their premium cleaner and I can see why. No, really I can see it… the bottle is beautiful and so shiny I can see myself in it. I got more compliments on this tiny gold bottle than I did on my ass. And my ass is out of this world. The complex formula is scented with Papaya. And, yes, that sentence was ripped from their website because I’m an uncluttered white person who has never had papaya but I knew it smelled good ok?!? For the first time in my life, I was the most popular guy at Bearracuda. Bearracuda is a staple in my gay travel if there’s a barracuda party – you’ll find me there.

Saturday was a packed day/night. I woke up nice and early to get a quick jog in. As I was jogging I came across a spot called, Pere Antoine Restaurant. So, I stopped in for a double-sized mimosa. The bartender, Stephanie was a riot, and some of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen were sitting there with me. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Did you fuck any of them right then and there?”. Unfortunately, my answer is I got too drunk at brunch, took an uber to my hotel and fell asleep with a piece of pizza on my lap for three and a half hours. BUT, after that, I was able to meet up with one of them at the After Dark party. We danced for hours and felt our oats. When we got back to my room I knew it was the perfect time to try something new… something … mysterious.

Although Gold is their luxury mix, I have to tell you my all-time favorite I got to experience on Saturday. MYSTERY FRUIT. I think I for sure got Berry Punch but I’m awful at this game. Basically, for pride month they created SIX new scents and you could get any of the scents when you order the mystery fruit. I want all six. Maybe, need. The possibilities are Cherry, Orange, Berry Punch, Kiwi/Watermelon, Huckleberry, or Grape. I can not emphasize this enough, buy some before they’re gone. If you buy more than one they’ll make sure the scents are different.

Sunday was my last day and time for the parade. So many people on the streets to meet and interact with. This was one of the first times I have ever traveling alone so it was nice to feel so welcome. I recently had a friend tell me that Emerald was his favorite, so I saved it for last. It’s very subtle and I can see why it’s a fan favorite. Although, I will continue to preach that mystery fruit is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Either way, all of these different products helped me clean my filthy VHS tapes with many men no problem and were the perfect companion on my first big solo trip.

Thank you to my friends at Double Scorpio for helping me make this Decadence the best yet. Also, a big thank you to Bourbon Pub for always killing it with the events. We’ve worked with them for years and they’re always so kind and helpful. All in all, if you can make the trip – check out Southern Decadence. It’s one of those events that really lets you learn about yourself. And what better backdrop than New Orleans?

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