Someone needs to alert our heterosexual lady friends to the existence of Doctor Queerlove. A troubled woman wrote into Slate's Dear Prudence to inquire whether her husband is gay. The evidence? A text message from another man asking him to act as his cover, a visitor's pass to a gay men's health club (bath house?), gay web sites in his browser history and a gym bag containing Viagra and a gay porn DVD. As if that wasn't enough, she caught him masturbating to the aforementioned porno. Long story short, he may not be "gay" per se… but he's probably sucking some dick.
Prudie gave some decent advice, suggesting that the woman visit her gynecologist for testing, head to couples therapy and have a long talk with her husband. However, we have a better suggestion. Rather than worry about your marriage being a sham, embrace your hubby's bisexuality by inviting one of his playmates to the bedroom. Hey, it's one way to save a marriage!
– Dewitt
A 3-some isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
I say she breaks up with his lying ass and moves on.
If he’s willing to run around on her, subject her to all these potential diseases and such, and leave her in the dark as to how he’s now feeling or these new urge/ desires, there is really no reason for them to stay together.
Yeah, if he won’t even fess up after all that evidence, I have severe doubts about the future of their marriage. May as well dump his ass and let him work out his sexuality on his own time.
On a (possibly) related note, I’ve never understood the guys who know they’re gay, but end up getting married anyway (in the closet). I’ve had two fuck buddies in this category, and it baffles me. Anyone with experience in this department want to explain it to me?
Maybe he has nothing to work out, in terms of his sexuality. There are more men along the bi spectrum than exclusively gay men in this world, you know.
And sure, he should tell his wife – if for no other reason than for her own protection – but that’s something he should do regardless of the gender of extramarital sexual partner(s).
His wife is asking the wrong question. She should be asking, “Is he fucking someone else instead of me”, not “Is he gay/bi?” His innate sexual orientation is irrelevant to their problem.
Couples lose their connection for any number of reasons. The fact that he’s showing some interest in his bi side might not be because he doesn’t like women, but because he doesn’t like the woman he’s with.
Why are we so preoccupied with defining and labeling other people?