Chris Evans is such a dude. As if he weren’t already insanely attractive, he has to shove his magnificent dudeness in our faces, making us want him even more. Like, could you please stop duding out all over the place for one second, Chris Evans? […]
Tag: Celebrity
Get That Dick, Marc Jacobs!
Marc Jacobs and Harry Louis are still doing it. This is “news” because Marc and Louis are both sort-of-famous attractive people, and someone took pictures of them on a beach. In circumstances such as this, less-than-famous people like us (aka “normals”) have no choice but […]
9 Pics of Colton Haynes Existing Without A Shirt
Colton Haynes is an actor? He’s been on Teen Wolf or something? I don’t know, and I’m too lazy to Google this bitch. All you need to know is that he’s prancing around half-naked on a beach, his abs are killer, and his lower back […]
I Still Love Your Small Penis, Mark Ruffalo!
It’s always a good day when Mark Ruffalo talks to the press about his penis. The 44 year-old actor and current leader in “Dewitt’s Ultimate Celebrity Crushes” spoke with a large group of journalists about his upcoming role in The Avengers, particularly addressing his time […]
I’m Still Team Edward, Y’all.
While you’re occupied with your Taylor Lautner bukkake party fantasies, I’ll be over here (mentally) fapping to these shots of wet hobo Robert Pattinson and wondering what’s wrong with my penis. Why the hell am I so attracted to this man? Is it just because […]
Taylor Lautner Bukkake Party
The actual context of this photo isn’t anywhere near as sexy. I’m warning you now! Do not, under any circumstances, visit this link! Just imagine for a second that a world exists where Taylor Lautner got coated in SO MUCH cum that he could barely […]
More Insanely Attractive Pics of Jon Hamm
The following images were taken to accompany an article about Jon Hamm in Esquire Magazine, but who needs words when you could be looking at Jon Hamm? This man makes eating a cheeseburger look sexy! Or maybe the fact that he actually eats cheeseburgers makes […]
Michael Fassbender Is Naked Again.
Most of us have already seen his penis by now, so the idea of “Michael Fassbender naked” is about as notable as “Marc Dylan getting banged”. Been there, done that! AND YET IT’S STILL SCORCHINGLY HOT!!!!!!! Apologies for the capitalization and overuse of exclamation points. […]
I’m So Hard Right Now.
By now, you’re well aware of my obsession with Daniel Radcliffe‘s tiny man presence. He’s a major player on my celebrity “fucket list” (which doesn’t exist yet, but it should!), and I’d sell my soul to Voldemort if I could just once tickle his taint […]
Patrick Schwarzenegger Shirtless At The Beach
I’m postponing this week’s installment of Twink Tank. Between this morning’s Justin Bieber post and these pics of Patrick Schwarzenegger, we’ve already surpassed our quota for men so young that we feel creepy writing about them. I just couldn’t justify throwing a bunch of slutty […]