Secret Sex: Jack Black And Michael Cera

Jack Black- Michael Cera

So who are we ashamed about wanting to sleep with this week? In honor of Year One, today we have a double dose of Jack Black and Michael Cera. The prospect of seeing these two running around in loin cloths unfortunately isn’t enough for us to see their shiteous movie, but we’d still hit it. Maybe even at the same time. It’d sort of be like Daddy Mugs, no?

I’m not going to front. When Jack Black cleans up and stops making obnoxious faces for a moment, he’s actually quite a handsome bear. There’s just this little problem with his sense of humor. I can’t get down with Tenacious D, but I’d fuck him… gently. Well, actually, I’d probably just pound the hell out of him.

And what’s wrong with Michael Cera? He’s a total cutie! But then there’s that little fact where he will always seem like a teenager to me. Even though he recently became old enough for me to get him drunk and play “find my penis”, I will always think of him as George-Michael from Arrested Development. Maybe in a few years, he’ll venture out to post-twink territory, but I’m stuck keeping my crush on the hush until then.

– Dewitt

6 thoughts on “Secret Sex: Jack Black And Michael Cera

  1. Yeeks, I couldn’t be less attracted to either of these one-trick ponies. I guess to each his own.

  2. im attracted to sum random guys, buh not really these guys.
    cera seems like a kid who tries to be ironic and comedic at the same time and it gets old…

  3. I can’t really get into Cera. He’s too cute. Precious, even.
    Now Jack, on the other hand…XD
    But yeah, I doubt we’d get along irl.
    I’d have to leave at sunrise or something, and I know I’m wrong for that, lol
    Now, when Mikey gets some body hair, and actually looks legal, I may reconsider.
    But hey, we’re all nobodies anyway, so this is just idle speculation. Even if either one was gay/bi, we still wouldn’t get to hit it.

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