Random Question: Hey Girl Hey?

Oh, hay gurl! Do you mind if I call you girl? When I wasn’t as secure with my sexuality, I couldn’t stand people who addressed other gay men in this fashion. Quite frankly, it still gets under my skin to a certain level, but I’ve mostly grown up and got over it.

It just seemed silly to throw a tantrum about something so ridiculous. Obviously, this person isn’t literally calling you a woman just because you suck cock. It’s a funny expression that’s been passed down from one gay generation to another, right? What do you think–is this something that bothers you or not?

– Dewitt

35 thoughts on “Random Question: Hey Girl Hey?

  1. Doesn’t bother me one bit. I hear guys calling each other gurl every now and then, but hey….live and let live. Just as there are many flavors in our community, we have as equally broad of a brush in attitudes of how we live. One can’t possibly expect to define/pigeonhole who we are or how we should behave. Oftentimes we chastise the straight community for their political incorrectness towards us, yet we are our own worst critics.

  2. I agree with Saint Impatience. I usually agree with navysausage, but face it, you are a boy or you are a girl. Depends on what organs you are carrying around. ‘Course, that’s from a medical standpoint. Some men act like girls, some women act like boys! 😉

  3. Hey Todd. Yes, I believe you took this particular post in the literal sense. But let’s face it, we have guys who act more like girls than most girls. Yes, they are a caricature of their feminine side, but they are who they are…and there is no place for us to judge them inasmuch as we hate being judged ourselves. DeWitt is correct about “growing out of it” as we get older. The flaming queens belong to our community, no matter how much it may irk others, or perpetuate the stereotypes of our culture.

  4. Many guys get offended by being called a girl because they consciously or subconsciously consider women inferior – therefore they’ve been called inferior. As you can imagine, being a girl, I really don’t appreciate that notion.

  5. I understand, navysausage. After I submitted my post, I realized what you were saying. So once again, I agree with you.

  6. It depends. When gays take it to far and only refer to other gays as “her” and “she” for an entire conversation, I get annoyed. If it’s a quick “Hey girl hey” then I’m okay.

  7. True, there are plenty of different niches in the queer community. Speaking for myself, i think women are every bit the equal of men, and being offended at this use of ‘girl’ by no means implies woman are inferior. ‘Girl’ is, after all, a bit different in usage.

    If a guy wants to call another guy “girl”, that’s fine, but he’s probably not someone i’m interested in hanging around with.

  8. Slightly, I don’t like to be called girl. I’m not a tranny, or a drag queen, and I feel the homosexual side of me is still pretty masculine. I’ve always wondered what happened to the term “Gaylord” or was that always just a name? Gaylord focker? Is a Gaylord the same as like a vampire that turns other people? His gay powers allow him to fly and control other gay men? Hmmmm, new goal, become Gaylord 😀

  9. I used to work in an office with 6 other gay men and they all called each other “girl” it annoyed the piss out of me, but I got over it. In the grand scheme of life, it’s not that big of a deal. I just hated it when straight co-workers would quietly ask me why they all did that, and did we really consider ourselves to be girls. Silly really.

  10. Funny enough me and a buddy do call each other bitch though. “hey bitch” but girl, that bothers me.

  11. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of this. Never once been called a girl. I guess if you act the part… Well…. Don’t complain then. Words are words, even if they are meant to be hurtful. People use them against others to get a rise. And a LOT of gays are really good at not letting the bigoted hetero community down in this. So, like dewitt said, it’s a matter of growing up. If the person wants to be a little kid, forever stuck in high school, let them be. But you’re no better than them if you fly off the handle because you don’t know how to let simple little words roll off of you.

  12. Girl, Girlfriend what ever it isn’t for me.

    I can understand if it is a bunch of queens hanging around together if they want to call each other that fine but do not include me in the use of the words.

    I am not closeted @ all but I do not act like a fag nor do I walk around anoucing who I am either.

    If I am around a fem guy and he says it to me I correct him on the use of it right away.

  13. I almost expect it from my more flamboyant friends. It doesn’t offend me, because it’s part of some gay friends’ personalities and they’re being friendly.

    It’s the same with the word fag, or bitch. If it’s said with love/friendly teasing, then again, it doesn’t bother me a bit. It’s the meaning or emotion behind the word that can make me smile or piss me off.

  14. I HATE it! That is one thing that drives me crazy. Only when it’s directed towards me is when I really sets me off. I’m not a girl, she, ma’am, mary, nor queen. So please stop.

  15. This is probably due to my personality, but I can’t stand it one bit. In my eyes, just cause your gay doesn’t mean you need to talk like one. I live and let live, but it really gets under my skin.

  16. i guess i can say this much: in considering that i don’t fall in the feminine/effeminate/femme* side of The Mannerism Spectrum, it is true usually don’t want to be anyone’s “gurl.”

    not even fellow fa—i mean, Gays’.

    🙂

    one would have to be a really good friend, if i am to overlook or/and play along with such an appellation.

    or, if it’s obvious that the guy just calls everyone “girl” or “bitch,” irrespective of the fellow’s Comportment.

    (like, say, Qaadir.)

    but, otherwise..
    ..if it’s obvious that the cocksucker isn’t trying to diss me, then i won’t throw a tizzy.

  17. Like u Dewitt when I 1st came out it did bother me bcuz I was always teased but then I got over it & kno that it’s just a slang like “bro” or “homey”…it also depends on the context that it’s used in as well but it doesn’t bother me now!!!

  18. Fortunately, the circles I travel in, I never get called girl, Or even worse, GirlFriiiieeeeennnnndddd. I do identify as a masculine gay man, and all of my close friends are the same. It personally makes my skin craw when I hear it. I think it dose nothing but perpetuate the “gay” stereotype. I work in a field in which I deal with LARGE trucks and the men who buy them. Do you think they would want to buy a work Kenworth from someone that was swishing across the truck Lot? Doubt it.
    I have worked for years to be able to be who I am, with out having someone find out that I’m gay, and not instantly assume that I’m a hair dresser, or interior designer. The last time some someone called me girlfriend, I did a crotch check and remind them that I had a cock and set of balls. Never again has that person called me girlfriend.

  19. It annoys me to the ends of the earth, I do not mind when other people say it others, but I find it deeply aggravating to hear it said to me. It probably is just my reaction to horrible english but the term makes my skin crawl.

  20. To everyone who has posted a comment. Hey girl, wuzzup bitch?! I can’t stand it when guys think that they are the shit just because they act masculine and can fit in better with the mainstream hetero society. I am not part of mainstream society in any way and I refuse to pretend to be. However that does not mean that you are a better human being than I am.

  21. I love using Hey Gurl Hey with men and women. Doesn’t matter if they’re straight, gay or some happy in between. I HGH them like it’s nobody’s business. Between all of my friends even the most manly of the straight guys I know, we love using HGH just cuz it’s so fun and silly.

  22. Saedi, I have reread all of the posts and not one guy has said he’s better than anyone else. Get off your high horse.
    I’ve never been called any of the names by my friends. Come to think of it, my friends don’t talk like that.

  23. I remember very clearly the first time I heard a guy call another guy “girl” (in Backstreet Atlanta). I laughed my ass off…still do. We’re out chasing guys, girls are out chasing guys…all good fun. Of course it is all about context like Saint Impatience says. It’s good comic relief really if used correctly. Ultimately it is just a word. If it makes me angry (or anything else) that is my anger to deal with.

  24. Seriously people. This is not the 1950’s. Who cares what gender pronoun you use when you are talking to someone. It is, in the end, a pronoun. What is important is that the person you are speaking to is in line with the intent of the words in question.
    And to the guy who sells the big trucks – hoenstly – people will give their money to anyone who can make a sale, otherwise the issue is within the buyer, not the seller. Do not let your company’s sales goals determine your personality

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  26. i keep reading about this “gay community” and “hetero community”… i was wondering where i can find them? could someone point me in the right direction? they must be around here somewhere! like all hanging out together in a giant clump of communityhood.

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  28. I think that many people forget that we define our sexuality, not the other way around. And what I mean by that is that we choose the way we present the gay population as a whole by the way we act. Plus the world usually chooses to see and stereotype based on their perceived notion of “the worst” acting.

    I think that gay guys calling each other “girl” and “bitch” and so on is similar to black people calling each other the n-word…I see them both as a double standard and I’m not really a fan.

  29. If you desire to be called such a term than so be it.However do not jump down the throats of others for a lack of conformity to your””terms of endearment,so accept it”factor.

    I am not a girl,i am not feminine.I am a masculine bisexual male and would prefer to be referred to as such.Its my choice,if i dislike it,i dislike it.Simple as that!

  30. even if you dont like gay culture, you still need to know it and accept it.

    ive seen some of biggest most muscular guys act like 13 year old girls; and the skinniest little twinks act like big macho daddies.

    using the word “gurl” doesnt make you any more feminine than the word “bro” makes you masculine.

  31. Oh Lord.
    I say Hey girl hey ALL THE TIME.
    I say it to boys and girls, gays and straights, I even say it to inanimate objects.
    Woops.

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