Random Question: Can Rough Sex Be Romantic?

My friend’s boyfriend is a raging bottom. While I don’t have any firsthand knowledge on this matter, I’ve heard plenty of tales about his insatiable appetite for cock. He loves to be dominated, tied down, spanked and pounded senseless. If you’re not shoving him down and gagging him with your cock, he’ll grab your hands and move them behind his head.

Although they’ve been together longer than I can remember, there’s still one small issue with their sex life. My friend prefers a more “traditional” idea of romance. He’d love to light some candles and take things slow, but it’s just not going to happen any time soon.

When discussing this topic with my friend, I’ve argued that passion and chemistry are more integral to a relationship than fairytale romance. You can still be his Prince Charming and fuck him like he’s the slutty stepsister, right? I mean, what do you think–can rough sex be romantic?

– Dewitt

Photo credit: Cocky Boys

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3,400 thoughts on “Random Question: Can Rough Sex Be Romantic?

  1. Yes, it can be. But only depending on the chemistry with the other person and he doesn’t have to be rough all the time during sex. There are moments he can show some tenderness. I believe is all in the way he kisses you during sex.

  2. Of course! Romance in sex comes from compatibility and quality, and I enjoy rough sex, so if I’m going to take any relationship seriously, he damn well better do the damn thing. There’s not much better than getting pounded hard for a while, getting off together, and collapsing all sweaty and worn out together.

    To quote Godga – Is it because you don’t mean it, or because I don’t feel it? I need a man who likes it rough! (Likes it rough, likes it rough.)

  3. There’s a time (and a place) for everything, to quote a cliche . While I do love romance, I also totally get off and scream and shoot like a rocket when a hot top makes me his bitch. How about another cliche? “Variety is the spice of life!”

  4. rough sex is antithetical to the idea of “romantic” sex — rough sex can be “loving” sex, and “passionate” sex, but calling it romantic pretty much negates any meaning that the word “romantic” has….

  5. If by ‘romantic’, you mean ‘something expresses a sense of love’, absolutely. If by romantic you mean ‘slow, gentle, and like a romance novel’, no.

    The problem with the guy who likes it rough in your example is that he’s not giving his partner opportunities for slow gentle sex. He’s demanding that all the sex by rough, so he’s being selfish and failing to meet his partner’s needs for something different.

  6. This is like asking the question; ” is a cat a dog?”. They are 2 different things in my opinion. Not that a relationship can’t have both, and that it’s not possible to enjoy both. But the entire premise of “rough” sex is to dominate, submit, and give in/over to animal physicality. Not a whole lot if romance in that.

    It’s too bad your friend’s b-friend is somselfish that it’s his way or no way in bed. Not only is it selfish to deny his partner’s desires, but he’s completely missing an opportunity for a whole different sets of feelings and experiences.

  7. Timber, I gotta disagree. There is a lot of room for romance in dominance and submission. A sub’s willingness to submit to his dom and serve him can be wildly romantic, just like a chivalrous knight’s submission to his lady’s dominance was presented as romantic. It’s just not soft and gentle romance.

  8. Here’s my experience. Last week I hooked up with a hot muscle daddy and from the moment I walked into his place, he kissed me in such passionate way that I could tell everything would go great from there. In bed, he was sometimes rough, but still kissed with the same passion. Even when he fucked me he was gentle, but he wouldn’t let go of me and hold me in any way he could. I don’t like rough sex, but with him I felt so safe that I allowed him to take control of me and have his way with me. Hope I get to see him once more.

  9. I agree with this statement. “But the entire premise of “rough” sex is to dominate, submit, and give in/over to animal physicality.” Especially the last part. Rough sex is more primal than anything.

    I like rough sex but I don’t think it can be romantic. Afterward is another story. There is something insanely romantic about cuddling up to a guy after you’ve both gotten off and are sweaty, tired, yet satisfied.

  10. Did the both of you ever stop to think that “romantic” is an subjective term — not to mention “passionate” and “romantic” are practically synonyms.

  11. Bohemond1, I agree that there is room for “romance” in Dom/Sub play and relationships. But the context in which this particular question was posed, I think they are in opposition. If the only way you can have sex with your partner is to “rough em up”, even when your not interested in always playing that scene, isn’t romantic. There is a definate connection and closeness that can achieved with strong, physical play that I think is totally hot in of itself, but I still wouldn’t consider that “romantic” in the sense mentioned in Dewitt’s post. Just my opinion of course.

  12. Instinctively my first response was: Of course not! But I believe the question deserves a deliberated and reasoned answer

    Rough sex:
    # Domination
    # Restraining
    # Force
    # Sometimes: PAIN

    Romantic sex:
    # Loving
    # Caring
    # Nurturing
    # Completely tuned into each others needs and yearnings
    # Willing to pleasure your partner by meeting his desires

    I think that those who believe there is a romantic aspect to rough sex mistake sexual satisfaction with expressions of love or affection. That does NOT mean that those who enjoy rough sex don’t feel love or affection for their partner but I think that rough sex tends to focus more on achieving physical satisfaction then on the joining of soul, spirit, mind and body. Rough sex and Romantic sex can therefore not be seen as one and the same, the differences are too great.

    Personally rough sex is a NO-GO area, a deal breaker. You want to rough somebody up? Join a gym and start practicing one of the Martial Arts! But if you want to make love, then by all means come to me 😉

  13. Sex is RUFF SEX…screw the str8 consept of romance and marriage…I am a gay man that fucks…I dont make luv…I pound that boi hole, feed him cock n cum…I dominant that boi hole…make it mine…then tell his ass to go…damn gettin hard just thinking about that boi ass to fuck

  14. I once had sex with a guy – that started biting me, left me bleeding….it was his idea of rough sex, and as far as I’m concerned anyone with rough as an option is not going to be on my list…..

  15. No they aren’t practically synonyms. You can be passionate about your job, but you sure aren’t romantic with your job. And it would be A subjective term, not AN. Just sayin’.

  16. rough like nice and hard all passionate but if you take your time and really enjoy it for both parties get rough all u want if it doesnt hurt badly go rough if you want it you really want it if you want to be romantic be romantic but yes it all starts with how you kiss kissing is a must with sex rough or romantic

  17. being a dominant top, i love ruff hard plowing sex…make it a point to find bottom bois that like it…n most do…n those that dont…well leave them for the “tender” queens to play with…lol

  18. I like rough sex 8 out of 10 times…I just love feeling like my boyfriend’s slut! He bites my neck and pounds my ass fast and deep, it makes me moan senselessly. I love dominating his dick with my ass as well. Most importantly i feel very romantic because there is the connection i feel all the time…I like romantic sex when i need to calm down with my boyfriend’s slow touches. Well long distance relationships makes me miss this a lot…:(

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