And this one has a LOT of plot.

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I really like what Men.com seems to find the time to do these days. Between their massive network of sites (which you can pay for with friggin unused Applebee’s gift cards now!) they manage to get almost all of the superstar performers working today, and get them to do creative, story-based shit. It’s pretty cool.

Spymaster is a great example: Colby Jansen works for the FBI (!) and somehow uses the Patriot Act (!!) to scam the boyfriend of this guy he’s “been crushing on” into bed. Then he used pics from the seduced boyfriend scenario to finagle his way into revenge sex with the original “crush” guy. I’ve seen actual soap operas (and I just watched Soapdish last night on HBO GO so I know about such things) with less convoluted plots. I can’t believe nobody had an evil twin or developed amnesia.

But here’s the problem (I know what you’re thinking – THE problem?!): Who, relationship or NOT, would have to be coerced in any way to have sex with Colby Friggin Jansen?! Have you seen his big, bouncy ass or his massive shoulders or his huge, upward-curving dick?! HE’S AN ACTUAL RUGBY PLAYER FOR FUCK’S SAKE. JUST LOOK:

 

 

Also here’s the trailer, in case you thought I was making any of this up:

 

 

Like what is your DEAL, Tommy Regan?! There are people in this world who are starving for dick like Colby brings to the table and you’re pretending you’re already full? GTFO of here.

You can see the whole series at Drill My Hole or Men.com (and I was not kidding at all about being able to sign up with old gift cards. It’s kind of incredible).

 

– tyler