He was sitting in the passenger seat of my car. COLBY FUCKING-BEEFY-PORN-GOD-DYNAMO-PISTON-TOP-BADONKA-DONK JANSEN of MEN.COM was IN MY CAR.
And he looked even hotter in person. He’s taller. And his arms. And he has an insane smile. And he smells really good. And seriously butch. He was wearing shorts and a tight black tank top and pointing out to me on his body where his most recent rugby game had caused some sore muscles.
How I was able to drive and not fall face-first into his lap, I will never know. The best thing?
[Ed. note – Besides the part where I got to rub SPF on his back. Truth. He requested it, and he grinned when he did. He knew rubbing lotion on his broad back was my dream come true. I would have rather had my other dream where Colby makes me his personal slut slave come true. But beggars and choosers and all that.]
He’s a REALLY nice guy. There isn’t a trace of snobbery or condescending behavior about him. He’s super-friendly and jock-ish without the dumb part. (Colby is whip-smart, and if you doubt me, ask him what he did for a career post-Marines and pre-porn.) He love, love, loves his wife (awww), and he’s obsessed with rugby. He confesses that he doesn’t think he has a porn body (WRONG).
He’s basically Captain America, crossed with a Boy Scout, crossed with a FUCK MACHINE. Yes, I’m swooning while typing this. Not only did he say something so sweet and down-to-earth during our conversation about how he finds all types of people attractive and how all of us are going to get old and fat someday, so dudes need to chill about judging on looks. But he also was so bashful and cute when he revealed to me that ** ** ***** ** ****** *******.
Wait, I can’t reveal that part. Off-the-record. For now. Oh, just you wait.
I know, you’re sickened by my worship. But you hang out with him and dare to tell me I’m wrong!
– J. Harvey
Check out my exclusive two-part interview with Colby Jansen below:
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