Making the transition from "total top" to versatile isn't as difficult as you might think. The first step is actually wanting to be fucked. This may seem ridiculously obvious, but it's very important to the process. Ideally, you should be doing this for you, as well as the pleasure you'll receive from another man's hard cock rubbing against your prostate.
This should not be about a boyfriend or any other sexual partner, especially if they're pressuring you to "man up" or "take one for the team". Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable experience, not some chore or obstacle you have to overcome. It's one thing to gain satisfaction from pleasing your partner, but it's not worth the price of your discomfort.
Speaking of comfort, that leads me into the next step on this windy road to versatility. As difficult as it may sound, you need to find someone who you enjoy being submissive with. Don't just tell some random stranger to fuck you. Meet someone on Manhunt who's looking to get blown, and simply get used to being on your knees and taking orders. Once you start to enjoy that, the next step will be even easier.
And what exactly is the next step on your personal journey towards anal sex heaven? You'll have to click through to find out. The picture above may give you an idea of where I'm going with this…
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Fresh SX
To read more and see Andy O'Neill playing with his toys, follow the JUMP:
If you want to get used to the sensation of being penetrated, you must buy a dildo and practice. Don't rush into anything too big like the Jeff Stryker Realistic Penis. Instead, opt for something a little more "average length", like the 6" Realistic Dildo. There are also several sets of butt plugs that are specifically designed for "anal training".
You don't have to rush into full-on insertion. Let me repeat that–you don't have to rush into full-on insertion. While jerking off to porn at your computer chair or elsewhere, sit with the dildo directly against your ass crack. Don't move forward until you're comfortable with this sensation.
You should be looking at porn with tops who you find attractive. Preferably, you shouldn't want the man who's on bottom, so much as wanting to be in his position. On a psychological level, this will prepare you for taking the submissive role.
Once you're ready, break out the lube and start rubbing the dildo against your hole. I've found that this works best while on your knees or bent over on all fours. As you get more comfortable with this feeling, slowly push the toy into yourself. Keep it shallow at first.
Breathe. You're almost there. As you feel more and more comfortable, push the dildo a little deeper into your ass. Make circular motions with it, as it's not all about the in and out motion. You should be jerking off while doing this. The goal is to cum with the toy inside of you, so you understand the role of prostate stimulation in making your orgasm fell… well, fucking amazing.
Practice makes perfect. The more you work with your dildo, the better you'll feel about eventually moving on to the real thing. If your goal is to eventually take a bigger cock, move on to a bigger toy. These transitions should be gradual, as in you shouldn't move from a six inch dildo to a thick, nine inch one.
To douche or not to douche? That is the question. For your first anal experience, I'd highly recommend it. You should feel confident that your pipes aren't clogged, if you know what I mean… Read more about douching techniques here.
Now you're ready to give it up! Don't be afraid to take a break or tell your partner to stop if it's not feeling right. Try starting in a position where you have control (ie: riding on top), and then gradually move on to letting your partner take the lead. Once you realize how good it feels, you may never want to top again!
I love those dildos!!!
where can I purchase such a thing!!!?..beats the same old;same old
While I agree with the majority of the advice you gave, I do have to point out that being the bottom does not mean that you’re going to be sub. I’ve met plenty of men who I have topped, but they were definitely calling the shots. I think the less we adhere to the dom=top and sub=bottom dichotomy, the more guys will feel comfortable in any sexual position. Just my 2cents.
Ya… I agree with Bobsyouruncle. I just started bottoming (totally ignored your advice about gradually working you’re way up… :S Haha. But he knew what he was doing) And I’ve already had a guy want me to take control while he’s fucking me.
Agree with bobsyouruncle and rechlo. It’s about enjoying the experience . . . not about who’s gonna be dom and who’s gonna be sub. I’ve met my share of “power bottoms” who called the shots . . . and I’ve been on the receiving end too, where it was just as much about me and the top deciding together and goin’ with the flow . . .
And just like rechlo, I didn’t neccessarily “work my way up” size-wise, lol . . . dated someone who was 11″ and thick, and damn, did that feel incredible right from the start (and normally I tend to take top bunk, haha).
It depends what you want and how you want it, and enjoying it together with the one you’re with . . . top or bottom.
Yeah, enough of the stereotypes. I’m a submissive top!
i’ll always be more comfortable as a top but enjoy bottoming more… :s
And I’m a dominate power bottom who will flip a “total top” in a minute…lol
ok that is great, but what about a bottom who wants to be versatile?
Nice way to advertise the Manhunt shop.
nice article with some very good advice in it. Thanks
As a pushy ass bottom that started to get less sex as I aged I become a submissive top versatile. Hey. Men with 8+ get a lot of guys who say they are tops, who see it, wanna mount us (our dicks) like Everest.
So it then become a transition to flex/vers/flip flop with other vers/passive top/aggressive top/role playing/even having a gang bang of a bottom I organized and orchestrated – beautiful young raven haired metis boy – 18. He was a hardcore bottom; blind folded and hog tied and ball gagged – I just supervised all the dozen dicks had wrappers – safety first, then fun unlimited.
He spent the night with me – ohh and moaning in happiness it was exstacy for him. That was happiness in giving him a gang bang he wanted very much.
So the more variety a man has, the more fun!
He who dies with the widest range of experience wins. Top role can be so boring
so can all bottom. Now I’m getting shaking up what my freak on means – and loving it. And after 50 having a sex party – even if I’m just hosting and having less play then others – having the right attitude with the right people and making it safe, fun and happy for all – well – facilitating a great a time that makes a powerful happy impression leaving everyone going home smiling and joyful – that’s the greatest high I have had sexually compared to all of it. Staged safer good wild fun with a midnight S & M demo that really had them roaring and stomping with approval. Less about rules – more about being motivated and in the moment – true to each experience – everytime. How a couple could fuck in the missionary position for years is beyond my total comprehension. Keep it fresh, great advice on transitioning (without surgery).
The other severe trend is big muscled 250 lb guys having their cocks inverted http://www.mangina
and having you fuck their dick. I can’t say it would thrill me – but it’s another taste and choice I respect!
I hope producing that wall of text was good for you.
It reads like some cheesy porn story.
And if there’s a point somewhere in that meandering, rambling, circuitous prose … I haven’t the patience to wade through all that to figure it out.
There’s a reason why Twitter succeeds.
Dewitt I agree with you for the most part but like most of the guys I don’t agree about that submissive part. Cuz let this twinky little bottom tell you, it’s my ass and my rules. The progressively moving into it is a good idea and it’s the same advice I give to all first time bottoms. Oh and there’s another one; huge dicks are super hot except for your first time on the pony.
Great info.
excellent and a good read. I’m 90% submissive bottom so not much new for me.
As Darren says above: what about a bottom who wants to be versatile? This article completely ignores becoming versatile from the other direction, I’d love to top but have been bottom for so long I don’t know how to get past the mental block I have now.
Bit of help for us would be good.