If Jessie J Had A DICK, I Would Ride It Like A Pony!

Please excuse me while I do a headstand and direct my coochie toward the ceiling fan, because Jessie J is looking TOO FIERCE with that big bald head of hers. To be real with y’all, I was skeptical of this bitch when they tried to pull a Nicole Scherzinger and shove her music into our ears whether we liked it or not, but child, my tune has CHANGED. Now, I’m hopping over buildings and knocking down senior citizens to get to that DICK, and when I get my hands on it, I’m gonna shove it so deep inside of me that it twirls through my intestines, goes up my esophamagus and comes straight up out my mouth. FOR REAL! She got me open like this:

dick-rider

This new song “Wild” is a scattered mess, but I’ll be too busy riding her DICK to care about her career. I’m not gonna lie though, Big Sean could GET it! After he lets me borrow that fierce ass coat he’s rocking like a true DIVA, he could shove his sea monster down my throat while Jessie is pumping me from behind, and I would NOT say “no” if Dizzee Rascal wanted to join in and turn my tonsils out. OKAY!

Boulangerié Knowles

Take your panties off before watching this, ’cause they’re gonna get SOAKED:

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