If you’ve been to a sporting event (or a fetish night) in the past couple of years, you probably noticed some dudes wearing brightly -olored, skintight, and identity-erasing spandex bodysuits. They’re called morphsuits. And they’re kind of a fad right now amongst sports fans, crazy college kids, fun people, and kinky people. But are they hot? After poring over the following pics, I was able to establish a couple of ways morphsuits CAN be hot if worn correctly!
1) You are wearing a morphsuit correctly if you’ve got a nice body and you’re wearing a morphsuit. If they’re going to INSIST on wearing clothes, guys with hot bodies should wear items that are either almost non-existent or skintight.
2) You are wearing a morphsuit correctly if you’ve got a giant cock. Dudes with big bulges should wear morphsuits so they can show off their packages without being detained by authorities. “I can count the veins on your cock, sir.” “But I’m dressed!”
3) You are wearing a morphsuit correctly if you’re wearing JUST the morphsuit. If you are wearing anything OVER or UNDER your morphsuit, you are a morphsuit poser and should be immediately stripped of it. It’s a skintight bodysuit, this is not the time for modesty.
4) You are wearing a morphsuit correctly if you’re the guy in the white one below and you’re letting your big, hard cock fly free from the convenient crotch zipper. This manner of morphsuit wearage should probably be confined to your home or behind closed doors. That guy would probably enjoy this page I found on XTube hosting TONS of morphsuit sex vids.
5) You are wearing a morphsuit correctly if you are Tumblr’s cutest cub LilJohnBear, and your big meaty ass looks like it’s going to explode out of your spandex in a burst of sexy beef. To be honest, those ridiculously cute pics of him in that get-up were my impetus for writing this post. Christ on a cracker, he’s hot.
Let’s hear what you have to say about morphsuits! Are they just amusing, absolute boner material, or you just don’t get them? Check out morphsuits in action below before you answer that.
– J. Harvey
Photo credits: Cock in spandex pics via SpandeXXX4Men, LilJohnBear morphsuit pics by Ursius on Tumblr
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Chris Brown is a total loser dickhead but he’s wearing it right.
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Ok, so these dudes are a case study in wearing a morphsuit right and wearing a morphsuit wrong. Can you guess which is which?
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The two pics below are actor Charlie Day wearing it mostly right. He looks like he has underwear on but the bulge is substantial so he gets a pass.
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Tom Daley = doing it right.
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And here’s my inspiration for this post – LilJohnBear. He’s so dreamy. And bouncy.
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They definitely can be hot.
It’s best with cock down your leg.
I had no idea this was a trend until right now. It’s a bit odd but the pictures are kinda funny even when they don’t intend for them to be. It’s like some sort of movie magic that malfunctioned or something. I fully support anything that gets sexy guys closer to naked in public (as I’m pretty sure God originally intended it should be) so that I can see their wieners (again, as God intended).