"It's not gay if you don't put his tongue in your mouth, right?" I'm sure we've all come across someone who isn't into kissing. Perhaps you're even one of these people. They tend to identify as either straight or bisexual, but there are also some gay men who'd prefer you stay as far away from their lips as humanly possible.
This strange phenomenon has been on my mind ever since this past weekend, after I met up with a ridiculously hung bisexual guy. Even though I wanted to slam him against the wall and shove my tongue down his throat from the moment I saw him, but he politely declined when I made a move to kiss him. And then he pushed me to his knees. The rest was all history… not to mention my face deeply buried in his hairy crotch and butt cheeks.
The guy wasn't afraid of dick or anything. He enthusiastically made an offer to suck my cock, even though I wound up not taking it. I didn't quite understand his logic. It's not like he was afraid of doing "gay" things. How is blowing a guy less gay than kissing him? Maybe it was some weird intimacy issue? It's impossible to say.
But there I go again boring you with my stories! Let's hear a few of your own tales of "no kissing" encounters. And if you have any thoughts on why these anti-smoochers even exist, I'd love to hear them!
– Dewitt
Photo credit: All American Heroes
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For some odd reason, a lot of guys, gay, bi straight…they think kissing is more intimate than putting your dick deep inside their body. A lot of guys I’ve met who aren’t opposed to casual sex are very opposed to kissing because they only do that “in a relationship”. How kissing is more intimate than sex, I’ll never figure out.
Well Javier… as a person who is in an open relationship with one rule… being…
DON’T KISS
I can tell you… sex is just sex its not a real form of showing you care for someone. its a ends to a mean and that mean is pleasure…
Kissing on the other hand is a way you express your love. the symbolism of the kiss alone is saying I love you, I like you, i respect you…
From culture to culture it does vary.
Here is a lot of information about the culture and purpose of kissing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kissing
Kissing for me is a total turn on and damn near essential. I can have sex without kissing but why would I want to? I haven’t had a kiss-less encounter only because (like everything else) if he’s not into it, you can always find someone who is.
kissing is a very intimate thing many hookers refuse to kiss because its so personal.
if you are hooking up just for sex, then kissing is waaayyy to personal for some guys
i am gay (i have completely been out of the closet since a teenager, never identified as “bi” or any of that) and do not like to kiss with random people. i call it the “pretty woman” condition (ya know julia roberts can get paid for anything but no kissing on the lips). i can offer no valid logical explanation as to why kissing is more intimate for me than putting my dick in random people’s holes. it just is. i have thought of ways to validate it or explain it – like maybe there is a connection between people who are touchy feely and prefer kissing as opposed to people who are not touchy feely (like myself) who prefer not to kiss – but at the end of the day why bother doing that? it is just a preference.
sadly, yes. depressing.
I’ve done it & had it done to me. I agree it’s sometimes more personal, but sometimes it’s a matter of hygeine. Some people (yeah, I’m totally bi – wheee!) have bad breath. Smokers in particular. So when a guy or gal comes to kiss me right after they put a butt out, I tell them nope.
@Josh — I was just about to say “I think too many of these homos have been watching Pretty Woman!”
I think kissing can be a very intimate thing, but it is also just fun. bite my lip. shove your tongue down my throat. I am such a big fan of making out. One of my favorite FBs is a big kisser with permanent 5 o’clock shadow and we always end up making out for a few hours. Every time we hook up my face ends up looking like raw beef. (fyi, olive oil is really great for taking away razor burn!)
It’s not odd that some guys don’t want to kiss complete strangers. You can have safe sex but you can’t have safe kissing. Do you know that gum disease is communicable? I tell guys “I just kiss boyfriends.”
Being one of the ones that doesn’t like to kiss with some people, the explanation is hard to describe. But like others have said, it just feels way more intimate and if I don’t have feelings for the guy, then I’m not kissing him, cause the urge to just isn’t there. My biggest issue is for those that don’t seem to understand and try to force a kiss on me, sure fire way of getting kicked out of my house. I’ll accept one on the cheek or neck but no where else 🙂
All i know is this i dont care how hot u are if u dont kiss ur not worth the f*ck casue to me thats one the best things
I can understand why some guys would reserve kissing for guys they actually felt intimate about, but at the same time, sex without kissing just isn’t all that enjoyable.
not into kissing.. specially deep throat ..and definately not with hookers
Sadly, Julia Roberts ruined it for those of us who dont want to get physical without kissing . . . ugh.
It’a a hygiene thing….not just kissing….if the dick stinks it isn’t going in my mouth…….bad breath or GOD FORBID a smoker!!! Not going to happen!
Am so turned off by non -kisser’s. I had 1 and after that, I make sure to say do you kiss and if they say no…I walk away. Kissing is passion & heat, just like if you wanna fuck me, you gotta eat me.
Yeah, kissing is essential for me. If I only wanted a hold t put my dick in, I’d rather just stay at home and beat off in my hand. I would not meet a guy who was not into kissing. I don’t understand why some guys think it is less intimate than oral or anal, but whatever floats their boat.
And man, sounds ike Dewitt is a ho! Half of his posts come from hook up stories. Is that just what it is like living in big cities? I live in a mid-sized city…sometimes I feel like there are not that many fish in the sea here, but neither would I find appealing screwing someone new every other day.
I totally agree!!! Kissing is the most intimate thing you can do with someone..I never kiss a random no matter what! it just seems to not belong unless there are feelings between the two of you.
Maybe you needed a Tic Tac…
It took me a while to warm up to kissing a guy, but now it’s one of my favorite things to do. Yes, it’s a downer when a guy says he doesn’t kiss, but it’s also a downer if he’s not much into kissing. A good kisser makes the act more special …
I’m with a lot of these guys. If you’re not going to kiss, it’s not worth it for me. One of the best parts in my book. Thankfully all of my hook-ups so far have been into kissing (or at least willing to do it).
Dewitt, what happened to the boyfriend?
I’ve know some Guys who say they don’t kiss it’s personal but they FUCK bare back !! How ironic whats more personal a kiss on the lips or dying of AIDS ?
this is just strange! If a guy cant kiss me then he sure as hell isnt going to put his fucking dick inside of me!!
Some people just don’t like kissing. I don’t, for example. The thought of saliva grosses me out, which may be strange, considering that I don’t mind putting my mouth on somebody’s penis.
I never knew how many “non-kissers” there were in the world until I got online years ago. I never thought of asking someone if they kissed or not until I had my first one. Then I never let anyone come over who didnt kiss, no matter how hot they were. PS I also turned a few ” I don’t kiss” into kissing masters. And never got a thank you note from their wives either hhmmff
I send the non kisser home.
Actully, its not just an intamacy thing. I have been going out with a guy for a while now, he doesnt like kissing. He said that its the sensation of it he doesnt like.
I guess everyone is different, if people dont like to kiss they dont.
I hooked up with a taxi driver one night after a big night out. He played it very smoothly, “so you got a gf?’..’no’…’you got a bf?’…’no’…’i let guys suck me off sometimes’…no kissing allowed according to him, but you can picture how the rest of the story went, mmm drunken adventures 🙂
I’ve hooked up with two guys who weren’t into kissing. One just didn’t like it, which I didn’t understand. The other said that he only kissed guys he was in a relationship with, that kissing was very intimate to him. I never understood how my dick in his mouth or his cock in my ass was somehow less intimate. I love kissing and it is a total turn on for me. For the life of me, I will never understand guys who refuse to kiss. By the way, both of the guys mentioned were gay, not bisexual or “straight,” but completely gay.
i don’t kiss unless i have feelings for the guy.
its just too intimate, the best way i can explain it is that kissing involves the face which holds the brain which is the center of feeling and intelligence , one has to make eye contact also with the person when kissing them, and they have to make eye contact first when kissing you back.
fucking is just hormonal and just involves genitals – total difference
kinda the difference between dating and hooking up. kissing is for dating – its something done just for pleasure and to arouse the senses – fucking is for hookups -just to appease a hormonal need.
bullshit guys, kissing is part of the whole “fucking” process – go see a sex therapist and get yourselves sorted, and then pucker up!
kissing is a great start. it’s like having desert before your dinner 🙂
Kissing for me in sex is a must. I can’t understand how some gay guys are not into it, but it’s a turn off when they are avoiding any lip locking action.
Kissing is an absolute must for me. Honestly, I’d rather have a make out party than casual sex. Call me old fashioned but sex is way more intimate than kissing.
For me, I don’t hook up that much because I choose not to, if it happens then cool, but I’m more of a get to know you type and see where it goes. I feel some people in the gay community can see kissing like a handshake at times, but to me if I kiss you it means that I’m really into you more so than just fucking your ass. If I hook up with someone and I don’t see it going anywhere other than that why would I share that special part of myself with them? I’m no prude, and no angel – but that’s how I feel. I do meet guys who say they want to just hook up and move on, but then they want you to be all lovey-dovey with them at the same time, you can’t expect some guys to want to share something so intimate, open themselves up just so you can throw them out, and you can’t have it both ways. If a guy wants keep something’s to himself for someone that he feels will earn them that’s his choice and his decision, and anyone who forces it isn’t worth the fuck.
it usually all comes down to the breath for me. alcohol breath, bad breath, cigarette breath, bad kisser…it’s all a no no. fucking someone doesn’t have as many taste buds involved. 🙂
Had an encounter in Paris with a non kisser. I wish I could say the reason why but I couldn’t hear him well over the noise in the place and some of what I did catch I didn’t understand cause my knowledge of French is extensive but limited. If nothing else it is an international epidemic. I believe it to be an intimacy thing.
Perhaps he thought you were only fuckable not kissable.. LOL
i can tell u im not into kissing either. the reason why i don’t is like…”why i kiss you if i don’t feel anything from you?”
Digging up an old thread here, but…
It seems the perspective of a bi- dude is missing, and it pretty much goes to answering the aside posed by the first commenter. All of the “sex is a means to pleasure” comments here seem to miss the biggest point to sex as far as the other 90% are concerned — biologically, sex is for combining two people, for making a new person. Sex is about more than just pleasure, it’s coming together with someone and making life.
That, my friends, is a bit more intimate than a kiss.
I had it in my profile…MUST LOVE KISSING!!!…I never had a non-kisser…If I were to come across one he wouldn’t get anything else…Kissing for me is essential…i’m known for how well I kiss…if you hook up with me you’d better like kissing…period
Dude maybe your breath just smelled really bad!!
I’m bi and I hate kissing to me it feels disgusting girl or guy when I have a major crush on someone is the only time and don’t even get me started on tongue my ex’s both girl and boy were confused by my aversion to kissing. I loved them but I get grossed out so it took awhile before I could use tongue even for them. Kiss someone I really like no problem. Kiss someone I don’t major problem. Even worse I always get complimented on my lips and how kissable they are and how everyone wants to kiss them boy or girl but I have to let them down and say no kissing unless I love you!
I met this guy once and he wasnt a big kisser, I’d stick the tongue in and he’d pull away a second later as if he didn’t want to be kissed!!!
Same guy has recently been in contact with me to meet again and telling me how he wants me to kiss him like I did the last time even though he wouldnt kiss properly