Gay Ass Gossip: Matthew Lewis Says Girls Scarier Than Noseless Guy

ITEM – In this week’s “Who Would You Rather?” , we pit three minor Harry Potter characters against each other. The saga’s finale was released in theaters today, and a dark horse called Surprising Hotness galloped out of nowhere to eclipse his opponents and win. Neville Longbottom, the porky child who was the butt of the joke for the first couple of movies, is hot! Actor Matthew Lewis got all tall and scruffy and has been looking exceptionally dapper on the red carpet.

Lewis says that he had a lot in common with his young alter-ego, noting he was shy like Neville and there was no padding needed to play a chubby kid. Despite his handsome metamorphosis, Matthew claims that he’s still terrified of women. “You know, girls in general are scarier than Voldemort,” he told People. My feelings exactly.

– J. Harvey

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ITEM – I normally limit myself to only the attractive types when I write “Gay Ass Gossip.” But I just had to share this picture. To preface, Jonah Hill annoys the eff out of me. Most of the characters he plays are absolutely the same, he’s not that amusing, and I once read an interview with him in which he explained that he would like to ask out all the girls who ignored him in high school, make them fall in love with him, and then dump them. So he’s a ball of unattractive rage. Anyhoo, Jonah went and got his shit stapled! The formerly portly actor showed up to the Espy Awards last night looking like he’s going to menace the Smurfs.

Now I’m pitying the actor I normally despise. I hate that! For reals, I was very into the first couple minutes of Get Him To The Greek, then his gross ass popped up and I had to shut it off. Now the poor bastard looks like he should have an IV pole trailing him and we should take up a collection.


ITEM – Some of the tabs are claiming Ryan Reynolds might be dating the beautiful and talented Charlize Theron. No snark here, she was so badass in Monster. Ry Guy here hasn’t impressed me acting-wise yet, so the jury’s still out on his actual talents. In other legal news, the jury has found ME guilty of wanting Ryan to fuck me so hard that his pelvis furiously slaps my buttcheeks at an almost inhuman speed and thrust. Afterwards, it will look like he spanked me. Yeah, I said it. Despite being told by everyone I know that Green Lantern is a piece of shit, I would still watch it on the off chance his space suit gets ripped off. Maybe he’s wearing a green cock ring.

24 thoughts on “Gay Ass Gossip: Matthew Lewis Says Girls Scarier Than Noseless Guy

  1. “Green Lantern” wasn’t all that bad … two shirtless Ryan Reynolds shots versus one shirtless Chris Hemsworth shot in “Thor” 🙂

  2. Green Lantern was a pretty good movie. I liked it a lot. I didn’t even go see Thor because it looked lame.

    I hate to say this but Jonah Hill was more attractive when he was bigger. You’re right J. Harv. He looks older and sick. Sorry Jonah, but congrats on losing weight…. if getting stapled is anything to congratulate on.

  3. I think the problem with Jonah Hill is that his face doesn’t match his body now.  If the weight loss holds I think he’s gonna need a facelift to pull that skin back, especially the cheeks.

  4. Can you talk about how hot Rupert Grint looked in the new movie with a beard and long hair?
    I came when I saw him.

  5. Matthew Lewis has turned into a rather handsome British actor, with quite the dreamy green eyes.  I daresay he will be working for quite a few years in the British film industry, and perhaps some in American films, as well.  I’d like to see him in some period pieces which the Brits do so well.

  6. Matthew Lewis is hot…I just hope that when the clothes come off he doesnt have stretch marks and loose skin….*shudders*

  7. I feel SO dirty for lusting after Matthew Lewis, considering when I saw my first Harry Potter movie, I was 33 and he was about 9. But Fuck it. He’s the ugly duckling of the series (who had to wear fake teeth for the first few movies).  Yeah, we all knew Emma Watson was going to be a super model and we all knew Daniel Radcliffe was going to be the next David Tennant. Even Rupert Grint has that off-beat British ginger hunk thing going on.  But who guessed that the sexiest one was going to be Neville?

  8. Damn, Matthew Lewis got fine! I always thought he was gorgeous, but now, WOW. Pity he seems to have not been struck by the manlove bug. *cry*

  9. He’s a bit Clive Owen and with smidges of Colin Hanks And Ryan Gossling. Which is in my opionion a pretty good pedigree of mild resemblances.

    I definitely noted his hotness in the film tho’. Wish the would have brought back Sean Biggerstaff the Quiddich Capt. From the first (or second one)

  10. i enjoyed the green lantern, highly under appreciated. and – he’s so hot in the suit!

    but in that cream suit with Sandra Bullock 2 years ago – going commando – I just about lost it completely – I mean it. I went crazy!


    He was the best celeb pic I had ever seen in years. Not even Frank Sinatra going commando – or Milton Berle’s one crotch shot moved me like our canuck boy, RYAN.

    A cruising for a bruising ….. if you know what I mean. DEEEEE LICIOUS.

  11. Anyone else notice the ginormous BULGE on rupert when they were changing shirts after falling in the water

  12. Matthew Lewis had been doing the tour of Agatha Christies Verdict – there are a few pictures of him in suit and tie from that – he seems be off the tour list now so hopefully someone is getting him on film again or a tv show

  13. Jonah Hill almost made me lose my breakfast. First, he ruins my movies (the exception being Superbad because he gets hit by a car) and now my breakfast? Eff that troll.

  14. Oh so he must have been amongst the chaos and I missed him! Good reason to watch it a second time 🙂

    It actually is kind of funny the amount of named actors that end being little more than extras, most notably Mirriam Margolyes.

  15. I actually thought Josh Herdman, who play Goyle, is kinda hot.  Everytime Draco, Crabbe and Goyle trio show up, Goyle’s the one I always look at.  Yeah yeah yeah, I’m supposed to notice Tom Felton, I know. lol

  16. Ryan doesn’t need to be able to act…just show up and look pretty which he seems to do effortlessly. He’s soooooo delicious but totally needed to be naked more in the Green Lantern…and life in general!  HUBBA!

    Have you guys ever thought of having a celebrity only edition of  “The Ten”?  I vote for Ryan.

  17. I have been swooning over Matthew Lewis for years, ever since he started looking damn fine after “Order of the Phoenix.” You know they’ve had to make him wear shoes three sizes too big and put inserts behind his ears to keep him looking gawky like in the first two movies? Poor guy. No, wait, not “poor guy,” because he’s fucking HOT now! I would… I would do some awful things to him…

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