Because this is a board with a hole in it.
And I refuse to accept it as a “glory hole.”
This started off as a Sex and the City knockoff post (I’m rewatching that entire show again from the beginning so the temptation to make a lot of puns is weighing heavily on me now) wherein “I couldn’t help but wonder” if the setting is what makes a glory hole a Glory Hole. But the more I thought about it and tried to write it, the angrier I got. This is just a hole in a board. And that guy knows it’s a dude on the other side of the board. And he probably even knows exactly who it is because I think at one point they’re making eye contact over the top of the board. AND they didn’t even bother to paint or finish the edge of the board that faces the camera, making it VERY CLEAR that this is just a piece of plywood.
This meets literally zero percent of the criteria for glory holes, save for the fact that it’s a hole and there’s a penis in it. Here. Watch:
You get some ambient noise, or some props, or even a thick marker to color in that plywood edge, and then maybe we can talk about calling this a glory hole. Or better still, go someplace that has an actual glory hole and let “Doug” fulfill his “it’s not gay it’s just a blowjob” fantasies there! You could do it early in the day or after hours so that “Doug” could feel safe. I don’t know. These are just ideas. But damn. Lazy: