Dr. Queerlove,
I’ve been dating a guy for about three weeks. He’s very sweet and we have fun. I enjoy our dates and hang out time. In bed, I would rate him as below-average. But that isn’t the problem. I’ve dated men in the past who’ve needed help in that area, and I have no problem teaching them. The problem is that he has a small penis. It’s less than 4 inches, which would be fine if it were thick, but it’s rather thin. The second time we had sex it was so bad, I lied to him and said I thought we were moving too fast, just so I’d have an excuse to hold off sex (at least for a while). I know that’s wrong, but I couldn’t even feel him inside me.
I recently broke up with someone who I was deeply in love with, so it’s nice having this guy to go out with, but when I travel for work I don’t even miss him. I just don’t feel sexually attracted to him. Is it the penis? Jesus, I just can’t do anything with that!
Help me!
Unexpected Size Queen
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USi Q., I empathize with this dilemma. Twice now I’ve come across penises that were under 2 inches when erect. And though the bleeding-heart liberal inside me vehemently defends that micropenis men are like everyone else and shouldn’t be stereotyped as inadequate lovers, another part of me—the average guy—looks at a small penis and thinks “Aww, poor guy.” So, call me a hypocrite if you wish. Penis size does not determine the character, manliness or love-making abilities of a man. But I’m human, and a gay man at that, so if he doesn’t have at least 5 inches, he betta have serious skillz or the docta’ doesn’t wanna fuck wit ‘em.
That being said, I don’t think your issue is with his lacking member. Let’s start by addressing the relationship issue, and then we’ll further explore small penises.
This is your rebound guy; which is why you like spending time on dates, but don’t think of him when you’re apart. Honey, you’re not into him and I can tell you how I know.
You can tell a lot about an individual’s true feelings from the way they phrase things. “This is the great thing about him but this is the bad” tells me you don’t want to paint the person in a completely negative light, but you’re just not having it. Think about when you talk shit about a friend: “I love Dewitt, he’s so funny. But that slut finger bangs people in the street!” Start with the positive as a buffer, then come in for the purposeful punch. Inversely, “This is a bad thing about them but this is the good” tells me you acknowledge a flaw, but want to overlook it by rationalizing it with the positive point that follows. You often hear this from people who are too blinded by love/desperation to realize that someone sucks at life: “I know he beats me, but he understands me like no one else!”
You did the former. You don’t want him and his mini-dick is an excuse for not wanting to get closer. Though his love-making skills may leave something to be desired, my instincts tell me that’s not the reason why you don’t want to get horizontal with him. Well, at least not the only reason. My advice: let him down now while it’s early. Tell him it was too soon to start dating, but you think he’s a great guy.
Now, as Barack Obama did last past week by taking a page from the school of Oprah, we should use this lesson as a “teachable moment.”
Gents with small penises, listen up! Much like a guy with thinning hair, a bulging gut, or a Mickey Rourke face, you have to accept that not everyone gets to have it all and you have to work what you’ve got. I advise that you work on becoming a phenomenal lover! Some men with small penises don’t think they can achieve this, and their lack of self-confidence holds them back. It’s a deadly cycle!
Dr. Q has been with some 3 inchers that have ROCKED his world. You need to throw yourself into it and be unapologetically sexy. Also, embrace sex toys, which can become your arsenal of sex weaponry. If someone isn’t going to want you because you have a chode, there is nothing you can do about it. But trust me, if you have an expert mouth, tongue and hands, you can consider yourself a stud.
Could you use some advice between the sheets? At the foot of the bed? In the kitchen? In the gym steam room? E-mail Doctor Queerlove with questions about love, sex, kink and questionably legal activities: Queerlove@manhunt.net.
DISCLAIMER: Dr. Queerlove is not a doctor, of any kind. Not even a Ph.D. in Professorial Race Relations. So if you follow his advice and end up bruised, impotent and alone, you can’t sue us… because we’re telling you right here that you can’t.
The new models…. speaking purely subjectively, are most of them overdressed and underage. Where are the post forties hunks, stripped for action?
i think the doc’s onto something here. speaking as a guy who’s been on the other end of this dilemma, it’s not the best feeling in the world. i’m under 5 myself and as a result, have “had to” bottom for a bunch of guys i’ve been with because i wasn’t big enough. my sexual self esteem was lower than low until i met my current boyfriend. he is a total bottom and didn’t care that i was smaller than he was. he gave me the confidence to just go for it and that has made all the difference. the more confident i got, the hotter it got when the lights went down. listen to the doc. use what you’ve got and make it work for you.
Ahh, the smaller or even tiny penis debate…
I am very lucky, I have nine and thick, but there are some down sides…since I’m vers…
1. Many, many times when I’ve met hot men and have been planning to hold onto my ankles and take a pounding, the tables get turned…so I end up topping…not a big complaint, except that the table don’t always end up getting turned back…and as most of you guys know, when you need to get railed, you need to get railed…
2. About a year ago I met an Asian man, gorgeous body, nice face, nice guy, and one hell of a stud in bed, he rocked my world with about 4″ and changed my mind totally about cock size. I’ve been lucky enough to have been with a couple of guys who threw one hell of a fuck with a 5″ or less unit…
I’ve always found sexy men with small pricks the best in bed, seems they always try harder to please their partner.. men with big dicks seem always to depend on their dicks to do all the work with a “lay back and do me” attitude..
….flame away…lol
I am an asian male with a 5.5 cock, and listen, it takes every piece of concentration and effort to be a hot top. Sometimes you have to compensate enormously — one case in point, I was with a super hot guy with an exceptionally deep butt-crack and despite my best efforts, I ended the night not with successful sex, but with a serious case of chafing. Ugh!
With a smaller penis you sometimes have to go through extraordinary lengths to have great top sex … or otherwise settle with just bottoming. Unfortunately, that’s just the way it is.
I hate to be a jerk about it, but there is such a thing as too small. The problem with narrow dicks is that they tend only to stimulate the nerves that cause pain, without hitting anything likely to cause pleasure. Guys with small dicks who act like they’ve got something to prove end up giving their partner one hell of a negative experience.
On the obverse, there’s also definitely such a thing as too big.
telltalesigns, yes my friend – you have certainly hit the G-spot with that comment, oh so true, and oh so painful!
You are so damn right Gary . I used to have a fuck buddy who is about nine to ten inch dick ….he is a total top but everytime I had to be the one doing the WORK !!! His favourite position is him lying on his back while I am on ”top” fucking him …..
I am always the one that got tired out after a fuck session .
As an average dick sized versatile guy, I just have to say that I love worshiping a big cock. It’s hot! But actual sex, definitely NOT required! The prostate isn’t 7″ from your anus, but for many of us the end of our rectum is! You can give a good prostrate massage with just the tip of a finger up an ass. Unless it’s a micro penis, a small one can provide perfect anal stimulation!
Life is too “short” to tolerate a “Teeny Peeny”
Stay at home guys or either that, flush out your cracks and assume the position!