Bradley Cooper, Christian Bale, And Jeremy Renner Kill Their Hot For “American Hustle”

Let me state right off the bat that the trailer for David O. Russell’s American Hustler makes it look like the best Martin Scorcese movie since Casino. [Ed. note – Gays like Casino better than Goodfellas. More drunken Sharon Stone swallowing scenery whole while wearing the most ridiculous outfits the 60s,70s, and 80s had to offer.] But I could punch David in the nuts! Bradley Cooper, Christian Bale, and Jeremy Renner look like 70s hell in this! Christian’s sporting a combover. Bradley’s got a perm. And Jeremy’s got Bob’s Big Boy hair. No, no, no! You just want to throw yourself on the coffin containing their sexy and refuse to let the gravediggers start shoveling the dirt on!

What’s even more of a kicker is that the women look flawless. I got a boner for Amy Adams in that trailer, and I normally like big, fat, hairy man-ass bouncing on my various parts!

These actors made the ultimate sacrifice for their art. Or, let’s face it, this is some Oscar-whoring. More power to you, men. Good luck.

Actually, nevermind the director, let’s just punch the 70s in the nuts. A whole decade making men look like they probably smell.

Check out the trailer for America Hustle below.

– J. Harvey

Photo credit: Zimbio

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4 thoughts on “Bradley Cooper, Christian Bale, And Jeremy Renner Kill Their Hot For “American Hustle”

  1. big boner for amy adams in this! and i hate chicks like her!
    but i actually have a gigantic boner for bradley’s perm! haha!
    and let me just be really annoying now: hair and make up artists for movies these days make everyone look too good. they didn’t have most of the products that we have now, so why do they use them to give them that airbrushed perfect look for something that’s supposed to be era specific?

  2. Wow! Looks like this will finally be the year that the incomparable David O. Russell and the always brilliant Amy Adams will get their full due. I am quivering in anticipation!

  3. Like the actors- don’t like the trailer:( Will be skipping just so I can still like these actors:) I cant see this because- For me: this will be like watching Tom Cruise in “fourth of july”- I couldn’t watch him again for years because the role was so dark and the movie so depressing and Tom looked so bad…)

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