Sadly, we said goodbye to Stefon over the weekend and no one can fill his shoes but, if it makes it any easier, go ahead and read this in his voice.
King’s County Bar in Bushwick is hosting a Smallest Wiener Contest. This bar has everything: Pencil dicks, mushroom caps, cocktail franks, (really low) 3rd nipples, shy snake charmers – that’s that thing where midgets play hypnotic music through their nostrils trying to coax the tiny penis from it’s basket.
According to organizers, the event will be part beauty pageant and part wet underwear contest. All sizes are welcomed and some well-endowed “showers” are expected to enter. Contestants over 8 inches will unlikely make it past the first round of judging. The grand prize is $200 and a crown (unclear which head it will fit).
To sign up, email spb.brooklyn@gmail.com.
– Diego
Watch a completely unnecessary clip of Spunk Worthy‘s Nate below:
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Well played, Diego. I’m not sure that clip is “completely unnecessary” as it certainly is on theme with Stefons recommendation.