The Locker Room: Wes Welker

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New England Patriot Wes Welker looks fine from one angle, but then the camera catches him from another and he’s a fucking supermodel. He’s a wide receiver for the Pats, and he’s sorta like the anti-Tom Brady. Maybe not as straight-outta-the-chute handsome, but way less annoying. Blame Gisele.

Wes has dreamy eyes, and sometimes sports an ironic moustache. He’s also the team’s practical joker. Actually, he sounds like he might be super-annoying if he wasn’t so hot. Hot people get away with a TON.

For those of you who follow sports out there, Welker is the only receiver in NFL history with at least 110 receptions in any three seasons. Whoo-hoo! Go Wes! I don’t know what that means, to be honest, but it sounds like he’s taken things. Into himself. Widely. Sounds good to me!

– J. Harvey

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