Gay Ass Gossip: Benedict Cumberbatch Is Available For Gay Weddings

ITEM – Benedict Cumberbatch presents a problem for some of the more shallow among us. Is he bizarre-looking or dripping with sexy? Is he some sort of human-Grey hybrid or are we all ravenous for his Big Ben in our buttholes? You see him in photos and you’re like “hmmm…” but then he wrestles around with Chris Pine in Star Trek and says things like “Shall we begin?” in that accent and your man pussy is soaked.

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Yeah, so I guess he’s hot. He should definitely make out with his Watson. I am not undecided at all about Martin Freeman’s hotness. Where were we? Oh, yeah – Benedict is a straight ally. He skipped Comic-Con (imagine!) to marry his gay friends Seth Cummings and Rob Rinder in Ibiza. He later joked that he’s available to officiate if anyone wants him.

“It’s a very private, lovely thing to be asked to do. Of course I’m going to make a joke after it if it goes well — ‘I do weddings. Next will be children’s parties and bat mitzvahs’. It’s a mainly Jewish and gay audience so hopefully they will be lenient towards me.”

Anyone would promise you leniency, Khan. You sexy, weird-eyed Brit, you.

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ITEM – Bruce Willis is a sexy daddy. But that doesn’t prevent him from being an arrogant asshole-fuck who forgets how lucky he is. He’s out there shilling the sequel to his “senior citizens with weapons” movie, and threw major shade at a British reporter. My favorite part of this video is that Mary-Louise Parker bears the expression of someone who regrets not taking the extra Xanax that morning so she could tune out of this exchange completely.

Really, Hudson Hawk? It’s gonna be like that? Why are you acting like your job is difficult? There are people out there working in intense heat digging ditches, people standing on their feet double shifts at Wal-Mart, and DUDES HAVING TO FIND NEW SYNONYMS FOR “HOT” AND “PENIS” FIVE DAYS A WEEK! Ungrateful dick. As someone who has had to conduct these sort of interviews, let me assure you that the reporter felt EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU DID. He was just doing his job. You cunt.

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ITEM – We wrote about Anthony Weiner’s latest sext scandal this week. And The Dirty finally un-pixellated those cock pics. Enjoy!

Let us know your opinions on “Carlos Danger’s” dick below.

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9 thoughts on “Gay Ass Gossip: Benedict Cumberbatch Is Available For Gay Weddings

  1. i would suck Wiener’s wiener, looks like it would be nice and thick when fully errect

  2. wiener shud do porn, nothing left of political career, and hell the WHOLE country has seen the pics, might as well get paid for it. only if GAY porn, mind you. LOL

  3. Khan – no thanks. ugly, weird, creepy. will look awful when he’s older.
    Bruce – yes please! this just confirms that he’s the kind of douchebag guy that will spit on your face and slap you before shoving his dick in your mouth naturally, without it being a thing
    Weiner – nice dick. way to ruin to your career dumbass

  4. I like seeing Weiner’s weiner. One must wonder if he has a foot fetish since they seem to get featured a lot in his pics. It however wasn’t the biggest dick in the mix. That honor goes squarely to Mr. Willis. I think someone was having a bitchy day. MLP should have whacked him in the head with one of those microphones.

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