A LAB FULL OF IMPORTANT SCIENTISTS – Research has proven that glimmering, shiny things increase the arousal level of homosexual, bisexual and curious male study participants. Thousands of men voluntarily clicked the play button on a new video by underwear brand Andrew Christian. Scientists have confirmed that they all experienced raging erections and could not stand up until they pleasured themselves to the point of completion.
“Glitter makes me cum!” exclaimed one of the study’s participants, as he shoved a bedazzled butt plug into his anus while simultaneously writing a 1,000,000 word essay on ageism against pop musical artist Madonna. “I don’t know what it is! I guess it’s because I’m gay, and it’s like in my genes that I have to be into glitter! Sometimes, I rub it on my butt and make out with my friends, because that’s just what gay men do! Glitter, yAy!”
Representatives from Andrew Christian could not be reached at the time of press to address the multiple ejaculations caused by their shockingly erotic, outstandingly tantalizing video footage. Respectable scientific sources close to their headquarters report that they’re otherwise occupied rolling around in glitter and making out with one another, as they still have not recovered from the sex explosion caused from filming this video clip.
Photo credit: Andrew Christian
Please, please remove your pants before watching the video footage below:
Treat your crotch and buy 10,000 things from ANDREW CHRISTIAN!!!!
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Hate the implied drug use
Because glitter in the eye doesn’t sting like cum… Let’s just rip our corneas and retinas out.
Very Stange
Glitter will tear your dick up. It’s like fucking with an inside out sandpaper condom.
LOL best comment ever.
Those poor, poor models. They’ll be pooping out glitter for months.
I hated it that when I saw glitter and overt gay-orgy-ish thumbnail to this post, I knew it was Andrew Christian. I think AC is the most condescending and patronising label that has graced the gay community to date. ALL the cliches of homosexuality and the kitchen sink thrown in, and the bath tub too! And why not?!
why don’t they actually show the underwear for once?
i am gay and i hate glitter…………..always have musnt of got that gene
Most likely (and I certainly hope so) this is edible glitter. Metallic/plastic glitter is rarely used on full-body these days due to the safety hazards.
agreement-sauce
drugs, alcohol and excessive amounts of sex….further the stereotype there AC.
I can’t be the only one that thinks the patchy grey glitter looks like a skin disease.
I like shiny things on my body and my partner but a glitter is not my favourite. I prefer oil or sweat
not to get all quasi serious on you, but perhaps they are making a statement that the “glitter lifestyle” can be as addictive as drugs for young homos with disposable income.
i need to finish my essay: “Ageism in homo erotic cultures: survivalism or cuntiness?”
Dewitt, give me my glitter butt plug back!
Wow. That definitely made me want to buy some…wait, what is it that they’re selling…glitter? Whores? Cocaine? Cocktails? Soooo confused.
Glitter = the herpes of every theatre department everywhere
I must be part magpie…love the shiny…
mmmmmmmm