“Bend My Dick To My Ass”: Bam Margera Is Gross

Bam Margera was an early-2000s C-Lister who made his name by, amongst other things, diving into a tank of raw sewage on MTV’s old Jackass show. So he was already a dirtball. Now he’s got a single out called “Bend My Dick To My Ass.” I think it’s supposed to be a rap/dubstep parody. He seems pretty serious, though, about bending his dick to his ass so he can fuck himself. Or as he puts it – “I want to titty fuck my buttcheeks.” He also makes the claim that sticking your own dick in your ass “ain’t gay.” He also complains about someone “looking at me like a faggot” due to his ass-to-own-dick activity. Great. I think I hate him.

You water sports guys out there might like the part when he pisses in his own face and tries to drink it (2:45). I feel like smashing my keyboard off a rock for this post even having to exist.

To top it off, the dumb bitch doesn’t even give us an in-depth look at him buttfucking himself! He’s a greasy tease.

When I click off “Entertainment” and “Music” for the Categories of this post, can I add question marks? :/

– J. Harvey