Let’s go shopping!
I’m one of those consumers that places like amazon and zappos have wet dreams about. Not only do I regularly order from them, but I also have this nasty habit of just ‘boredom shopping’ when I’m watching tv or on an airplane or something. I always have carts running and am constantly just looking at stuff and adding it to my cart and taking it out later, and then ultimately adding it again and then when I’m not in my right mind, late at night, I just order them all and file it under ‘I deserved a treat, reason TBD.’
But, of course, this isn’t relegated just to books and bulk paper towels and shoes. I also tend to boredom shop for penis-related accessories (probably more than the other stuff, if I’m being honest) at least weekly, if not daily. I usually have carts running at Fort Troff, OxBalls, and lately, at Things 4 Fun. We’re good friends with T4F here at Manhunt Daily and in honor of their Pride Month special, I thought I’d share what’s in my cart right at this moment (cause 30% off is a good enough reason to ‘treat myself,’ and you know it is):
1. Do Me Sex Position Support Sling
I’ve seen a lot of different varieties of this same concept all over the internet, but I’ve never seen one in action. So I’m gonna just buck up and get this one and see how it works. The idea is good, and I figure when I’m not using it for its intended purpose it’s probably good for practicing the Happy Baby yoga position while I’m watching Netflix or whatever.
2. Ox Balls – Cocksling 2 – TPR Cockring
I had one of these a while back that I broke almost immediately upon putting it on by trying to stretch it too much, I guess. So I never got to experience what my buddy described to me as “so hot that I cum right after I get it on.” I’m certainly a fan of the idea of the simulations dick-squeeze/nut-pull, so I imagine this will get worn out pretty fast. Plus OxBalls doesn’t really do anything badly. Everything they make makes your cock feel good.
3. Perfect Fit The Boss Ultimate Stroker Masturbator
Masturbators are really hit or miss for me. I’ve certainly destroyed my share of Tenga eggs and the like, and my Fleshlight is badly in need of a new inner sleeve thing. But I’m like Goldilocks with the degree of tightness that these things offer. Most are tooooo loose. And some are so small and tight that they hurt, pretty much the whole time. So I’m eternally on a quest for the juuuuust right of masturbation sleeves. Here’s hoping it’s this guy.
4. Average Joe – Dildo – Miguel the Bartender
This one comes with more questions than it likely provides the answers to (Average Joe? But his name is Miguel? Joe Miguel? Why is he a bartender? Why does a fake penis come with a back story!?) but it’s in my cart because – quick story – my friend Dan made me one of those ‘clone-a-willy‘ kit dildos of his own dick a while back and it was my favorite thing ever until I accidentally ruined part of it with a silicone lube spill. So this is a replacement purchase, since it’s pretty similar to Dan’s anyway. Although the fake balls will be an exciting addition.
5. Blueline Men – Performance Microfiber Low-Profile Jock Strap Black
I don’t technically NEED another jockstrap. But there’s a dollar amount where you can basically convince me to just get something because it’s on sale. And this was that dollar amount.
6. Ox Balls – Do-nut 2 Fatty Super-Fat Cockring
This one, if I’m being honest, I just put in the cart because I thought that was one of the best looking penises I’ve ever seen. Like it’s fucking perfection. So I’m sure there was some element of ‘maybe mine will look like that! I MUST have it!’ going on there. But really I just liked how it looked on that dick. I definitely didn’t need another cockring. OxBalls, though.
My grand total for this rando collection of dick supplies came to 113.74, which I’ll admit is a lot to spend on penis entertainment that you picked out while you were watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. But with this pride sale discount, it only wound up being 79.64. I can TOTALLY justify 79.64 for masturbation necessities! Come on! That’s not even 80 dollars! I spend more than that on laundry each month! (Probably! I don’t pay a lot of attention!)
Things4Fun sells basically everything, so you should at least go peruse their clearance pile. Who knows what gems you might find in there.
No promo codes necessary. Just get to it.
– tyler
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