Would You Hit That?: John Mayer

John Mayer, shirtless, beach, tattoos, funny face, pubes, treasure trail

Most folks I know either love or hate John Mayer's music, but we're not here to talk about running through the halls of your high school or waiting for the world to change. Let's just cut straight to the point–do you think Mayer's body is a wonderland? Are you itching to swim in a deep sea of blankets with him?

Sure, he may have said in an interview that he's absolutely sure he's not gay, but he was also quoted in that same interview saying, "I'm not worried about how small my penis is — I'm worried about how dark it is. I have a Dominican penis. My penis hit six home runs last year; my penis wears shoes without socks." That's what happens when you do drugs, eh? But let's forget about that, because there's a more important question at hand. Would you do him?

– Dewitt

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12 thoughts on “Would You Hit That?: John Mayer

  1. Well lets see…He said in an interview that he’s absolutely sure he’s not gay…He’s kissed Adam Levine from Maroon5, [bleep] and was recently spotted “Dancing his face off” (his tweet) in a gay dance club. Maybe he’s not gay or maybe he has a secret…Would I hit that…Maybe.

  2. Absolutely I’d hit that! He’s cute, very intelligent, really funny, and can play me music… no contest.

  3. Don’t know anything about him or his music, but from what I can see, yeah, I’d hit that.
    He’s kind of cute, and looks like a fellow member of the naturally-almost-smooth-but-awkwardly-not club. Actually, if I lost 40 pounds, shaved the ‘stache, and got ridiculously tatted up, I’d probably look a lot like that. Wait, does that make me narcissistic for wanting to do him? Hmm.

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