What’s Wrong With People?: Bustin Beeber

Whenever Dewitt writes a “Twink Tank” post, there’s always some dick in the comments wailing about how we’re encouraging pedophilia blah blah blah bored-whinypants-has-his-own-issues. THIS is the shit they should be directing their menses-informed complaints towards. Justin Bieber just turned 18, which renders him legal. Boy Crush celebrated that milestone by releasing Bustin Beeber. You don’t need to shake your head. I’m shaking mine for you.

In real life, Bieber still looks like he’s 12. Hence my dismay at this venture. We should let him get a little older in the face before the porn parody, right? You think the adult males we feature in “Twink Tank” come off too young? Bieber looks like Hilary Swank in preschool. It’s just…no.

However, in Bustin Beeber’s defense, “two extra musical bonus scenes are included in the movie making it the complete package for any beleeber . . . or non-beleeber.” That added value might make you feel better about your purchase. *sad face*

Oh, and yes – you can get it on Manhunt.TV. Look, I just work here. I don’t make the decisions.

– J. Harvey

For a slightly icky preview, Follow the JUMP:

31 thoughts on “What’s Wrong With People?: Bustin Beeber

  1. Hey to each their own.
    I won’t comment on this in particular because it’s not my cup of tea. I like my MEN older, hairier, and with some meat on their bones (muscle & fat).
    But their are those who like “chicken.” As a business owner I can appreciate the concept of promoting what sells. As long as everyone is legal age c’est la vie.

  2. remove this!!!! this is freaking disgusting and they don’t even look 18!!! so disturbing for GROWN MEN to be putting this shit up -__-

  3. not my cup of tea, but no one freaked out when the whole world collectively blew their load when that mouthbreather Lautner turned 18.  Stop being hypocritical douchebags.  Also, autoplay on videos is the fucking devil.

  4. Apart from his cheap brand of commercial music, I always thought JB looked like a poor transvestite – no offense to those who do it – but I am far, far more sickened by most gay people’s prejudiced and totally hypocritical attitude towards homosexual ephebophiles, or people who happen to like ‘young meat’. This is a hot button issue which is pretty dear to me, so bear with this rant.

    The gay rights movement, at least in the United States, has its origins in people like Harry Hay Jr., who before Stonewall were active in organizations like the Mattachine Society. The self-affirmed goal of these men was the sexual liberation of all sexual minorities outside the traditional heterosexual, monogamous model. Hay himself was your run of the mill homo in his personal habits, but he and others, like author Larry Kramer, actually defended organizations like NAMBLA (which even I am skeptical of) and intergenerational homosexual relationships – which happen to have a very important positive role in western history, from Ancient Greece, where it was a pedagogical tool, to Renaissance Italy and Victorian England, where it inspired art (see the Uranian poets). Hay stopped attending the SF pride parade after they refused to allow NAMBLA to march with them.

    Conservatives’ main (completely ridiculous) strawman aimed at gay people is either that they’re pedophiles or they encourage homosexuality in young people – and gay people have reacted by dropping their old ideological fervor, shifting conveniently to the political mainstream and joining the cultural bandwagon in demonizing what is, biologically, perfectly natural – unless you believe that a legal decree establishing a certain majority age automatically binds our hormones. It’s easier to sustain a gay rights movement on the back of high income, bourgeois, urban adults who have no interest or desire to stand up for the ‘fringe’ aspects of sexuality, and just want their own version of the house with picket fence – the very social model that the original gay rights activist were rebelling against.

    Therefore I’ve always been disappointed at gay people who preach tolerance and openmindedness, yet are as quick to demonize ‘pedos’ (one of the most misused terms I know of, since rigorously it is defined by psychiatry as exclusive attraction to pre-pubescent children) as evangelicals. I don’t understand how it is that I was an ordinary gay boy at 16, 17, 18, but these days I’m considered a mere creep by many of my supposed peers, even though I’m probably more rational and mature nowadays. I’m not a psychopath, I’m not a sadist. I come from a completely normal family background and have a perfectly normal, healthy and loving attraction to people younger than I am, inside and out. I recognize both the positive aspects and the limitations of these attractions and these relationships.

     On the contrary, I think gay people ought to be proud of the rich legacy, artistic and social, inspired by same-sex attraction to male adolescents, and ought to promote tolerance of generational disparity in relationships – it’d be just acknowledging a reality that is already there. That’s hardly the equivalent of appreciating a silly porn video parodying Justin Bieber, who I don’t think is an example of attractiveness, but the basic attitude is still there. And let’s face it – it’s not that hard standing up for gay rights nowadays, as they are commonly perceived. I think people who are serious about the values of openmindedness ought to have the guts to stand up to a media-fed paranoia, rather than jump on the bandwagon.

  5. Ok… when I thought one day i would see Justin Bieber in a porn film, i really didn’t meant this… YUCK!!!

  6. Sorry, but I think Justin Bieber is a hot little fucker and I’m SO glad he turned 18 today because now I can lust after him without feeling bad. But then, I’m only a couple of years older than him, while most of the guys that read this are probably 30+. So it doesn’t matter to me what you guys think! I will continue to lust after him until he becomes openly gay! And then I will start stalking him to make him mine! Haha! That last part was just a joke BTW… unless, of course, he’s interested!

  7.  To each his own, but I think it’s silly to feel wrong for having certain feelings just because of stuff written in a legal code.

  8. I don’t think he looks like he’s twelve in the face, though the majority of men on here could be thirty/forty plus so how they view him is skewed versus people in their early twenties like me.

    I wouldn’t feel bad lusting for him at sixteen at the same age I’m at now I don’t see a huge difference, though I understand that leads to a slippery slope.

    People throw the word “pedophilia” around here too loosely the same as “anorexic”

    Honestly I think the parody is pretty funny just the cover and premise itself.

  9. i will say this much: young people, these days, continue to become more and more savvier, than we old’uns (would like to) give ´em credit for.

    in this case..
    ..if i were one such 18-year-old, who looks younger than that, and not with a lot of money-in-pocket…
    …well, i think i myself would give the “twinkie porn” a go.

    maybe no one in this blog, itself, are ephebophiles, or pedophiles..
    ..but that doesn’t mean there aren’t such individuals extant in the market for the opportunity to be “vicarious-voyeuristic.”
    and if i have an idea of how The Real World works..
    ..well, i’d jump on reasonable opportunities to take advantage of others’ “less than savoury” predilections, when possible.

  10. he is a little jerk, if he grew the fuck up……….but then thousands of kids would not ‘get’ his haircut……….he makes me sick…….

  11. Maybe I am mistaken but isn’t that what fantasy is about?  Shouldn’t you be able to do anything to anyone you want so long as it’s kept in the ole gray matter?  The singing was awful but the guys were cute as hell!  I have my mature hairy guy days and then I have my skinny young twink days.  
    Seriously guys…yall need to lighten up.

  12. I think I’m in love, Byron.  Thanks for the thoughtful comment.  Failure to think about history is incredibly problematic.

  13. Yeah, of course that’s what fantasy is about. And as far as actual acts go, I think you should be able to do anything you want so long as you don’t hurt other people. The legal notion that certain people are automatically hurt for non-violent actions below an arbitrary age (and it IS arbitrary, from 12 in Mexico to 21 in certain Asian countries) is silly. 

  14. I’d make a porno about Beebs just to spite him, but this is just wrooonnnggg…but I tip my cap to the Hilary Swank likeness.  Spot on 😉            (nebraskakid)

  15. I think Biebers new haircut makes him look like a lesbian.  I also find his personality and his singing horrible.  However, he is kinda cute.  And this porn is actually nice.  I think the model is better looking than Bieber anyway. 

  16. It’s stupid really.  Once we are able to procreate and make babies, we should not be held back from laws that are only there to protect us.  protection should not constitute limitation only caution.

  17. oh! and BTW… JB needs to pull his damn pants up before the whole world gets a look at his REAL ass!

  18. While I happen to be a tad older than you are Andy (at 53, lol), and a bisexual who’s equally attracted to sexy guys and girls, I completely agree with you. Justin IS a hot little fucker, lol. One of the most flawless faces I’ve ever seen, with gorgeous brown eyes, a cute little nose, and those big sexy lips, lol. I’d be willing to bet that he’s downright scorching when he’s naked. And as far as this video goes, I think the sex in it is fantastic, and the 20-year-old Kyler Moss (who plays Beeber in it, lol) and the other young dude are both quite fetching.

  19. hey why not? I’d say most gay guys would kill to fuck Justin Beiber! hello – it’s called twink porn! why is this so hard to swallow for some people? :p

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