Looking back, some of my best sexual experiences have involved slings. This is weird to me, because I’ve never really considered myself a “sling guy“. The thought of owning one always seemed a bit excessive. Would it be worth the money? Where would I set it up, and how long would it take? Would I get tired of using it after the first few times? Would potential partners be excited when they saw it, or would they think I’m some sex-crazed lunatic? What if I set it up the wrong way and someone gets hurt?
Despite these concerns of varying legitimacy, I still find myself fixated on the idea of owning a sling. I’m more vanilla than I’d like to be in the bedroom, and a sling seems like a very small step to spice everything up. As such, I’ve begun to explore some options within the past few weeks…
It almost seems too good to be true? An easy to store, travel friendly sling that can be attached to ANY door! Who the hell came up with this genius idea? Though it still comes with a few concerns—don’t worry, it supports up to 325 pounds—this is the perfect solution for business trips or surprising your fuck buddy at his place.
My only complaint would be the limited range of motion, but let’s be honest, it’d still be hot to get fucked against a door with your ankles (quite literally) in the air. What are your thoughts on this? Would you use it? Have you used it? If so, should I consider ordering one?
– Dewitt
Click through to see another pic of the sling in action:
Investigate further here.
Be sure to check the strength of the doorframe first!
Be sure to check the strength of the doorframe first!
the problem with such devices is that while the sling itself can handle 325 lbs, putting that much weight on the door itself is likely to mess with the hinges and screw up how the door is hung.
I say if it turns you on, try it.
I say if it turns you on, try it.
I say if it turns you on, try it.
The sling is hooked over the top of the door and not on the frame of the door. I can’t imagine trying to fuck a 325 lb man in any sling. I don’t think a man of that weight could even get his ass up in it. I have one and have taken it on business trips, works like a charm and puts some spice into sex with that hunk you happened to luck into in the hotel bar. Only trouble is trying to explain away complaints about the loud banging on the door from inside the room to the front desk when they call about the noise lol lol lol I suggest you try using the bathroom door. 🙂
If you’re going to buy a door sling you might as well stop half-assing it and set up a complete dungeon. I mean really, a door sling? Is it better than a real sling because you can fold a door sling up and hide it in your closet? I thought one of the main ideas behind a sling was to make sex more comfortable for the bottom. The thought of being fucked against a door does not sound very comfortable. I feel like it could jack up your back. And then how do explain that to your chiropractor?
This is one of my next purchases, I can’t put a regular sling in the apartment but this looks like it would be perfect.
This is one of my next purchases, I can’t put a regular sling in the apartment but this looks like it would be perfect.
I CAN”T imagine trying to fuck a 325lb man in any…..anything.
I CAN”T imagine trying to fuck a 325lb man in any…..anything.
can anyone tell me what the chances of this thing tearing the door off its hinges in a cheap apartment building are?
can anyone tell me what the chances of this thing tearing the door off its hinges in a cheap apartment building are?
I would love to see an infomercial on this.
Preferable with a cameo from that crazy old biddy from the Magic Bullet.
Just so you know, we’re costarring in the infomercial for this sling (while the Magic Bullet guy narrates).
This is a lovely idea but on the wrong door it could be the most tragically disastrous fuck ever. Fuck, fuck, fuck…”what’s that sound?”…BOOM! Down comes the door and frame. Plus having your back pressed up against a door like that just can not be comfortable. I think the better option is to find one of those sex swings (which looks almost exactly like the one pictured but with a single hook point at the top. Go to the hardware store and buy a LARGE screw bold with a loop on the non-screw side (one might call it an o-ring) and put that in one of the beams on your ceiling. The sling will attach to that and you can take the sling down when you’re done to store it away. Yes, you’ll have a hook in your ceiling but so what. If anyone asks, well the next thing they know, you’ll be pounding them in your sling. You can also use the hook as a tie point for some light bondage. Your whole vanilla sex life can be spiced up by one simple bolt. How magical is that?! And it’s cheap too as they cost about 3 bucks (drill and stud finder are optional and very borrowable). Enjoy and get your kink on!
“How magical is that?!”
How gay is it that I imagined you saying that in Ina Garten’s voice?
Sooo gay but I love it. In my head, that is how I imagined me saying it too. Sooo so gay. Maybe we should get gay married?
Getting gay-married would be the gayest thing we’ve ever done, and I’d definitely be into that (having seen your goods on multiple occasions).
Getting gay-married would be the gayest thing we’ve ever done, and I’d definitely be into that (having seen your goods on multiple occasions).
There’s an idea for a future post: infomercial DILFs. I nominate Joe Gray, who sells the Go Jo phone headsets, and Marc Gill, the bald celebrity chef who hawks the taco bowls. Woof!