On the morning of August 19, Mother Monster blessed us by releasing the visuals for her legendary new single “Applause“. My friend Dewitt was too busy writing about some irrelevant hack named Neko Case to take notice, so I took it into my paws to […]
After hearing “Roar” on the radio more times than I would have liked to this weekend, becoming fatigued with the attention-seeking antics of Lady Gaga and feeling increasingly violated by the omnipresence of “Blurred Lines“, it would not be inaccurate to say that I’m frustrated […]
Are you #TeamRoar or #TeamApplause? Does that little slut Justin Bieber have a nice ass, or should he go away for the rest of eternity? Do you believe that Boulangerié Knowles got quintuple-penetrated by both The Wanted and South Korean girl group f(x)? Are you […]
It ain’t easy being Ms. Boulangerié Knowles! Right after I got quintuple-penetrated by The Wanted, I was wiping Max George‘s CUM off my forehead when these five chicks rolled up looking serious as FUCK. They told me their names were Victoria, Amber, Luna, Sulli and […]
OH, ya’ll didn’t think quintuple-penetration was possible, now DID you? Well Ms. Boulangerié Knowles is here to help you get right with your life and RECOGNIZE that some of us actually know how to take a DICK! For those of you keeping score at home, […]
“Dont focus on ANY blogger criticism. I have been a producer/songwriter/musician for over 10 years. Trust the artist bloggers are not critics… The fans + music scholars are the best critics because they know the artist intimately. #STOPHarassingTheArtist we are here to entertain you… #FreeTheArtist […]
Earlier today, I posted on both Twitter and Tumblr about a “hypothetical” new television program called Celebrity Power Bottom. What I neglected to say earlier is that it already exists! The first season was filmed several months ago in my living room, but unfortunately, all […]
I just CAN’T with this Katy Perry bitch and her new single “Roar”. How is she gonna come out with some RATCHET Sara Bareilles knockoff and expect us to lap up her poon juices like we’re some sex-crazed kittens? FUCK NO! Ms. Boulangerié Knowles does […]
My body was not ready for DJ Fresh and Diplo‘s collaboration with Tampa rapper Dominique Young Unique. Upon indulging in this track from the Kick Ass 2 soundtrack, I felt the odd sensation to chug down some twerk soup and make a video like this […]
It occurred to me that I really want to have sex with Drake, shortly after reading every precious word of Dayna Evans‘ “Three Years of Gchats Trying to Convince My Best Friend to Like Drake“. Admittedly, this coincided with the release of the hip-hop star’s […]
