When someone writes “white men only” (or any other variation) in their MANHUNT profile is it racist or are they simply stating a preference? We’ve contemplated this matter before, but it was particularly brought to light in the comment section of our most recent MANHUNT Daily Wood, Simon Tham. Since I assume that the majority of you aren’t trolling the comment section, I thought I’d put this conversation out for a little friendly discourse. We did a bit of editing for your reading pleasure. Here’s how it all went down:
mark-the-jock: “He has a good body, but his face is way too Asian-looking for me. His face looks like he’s almost 100% Asian, so I think I would pass.”
mark: “Where do these racist numbskulls come from? Seriously – ‘percentages’ of aesthetically pleasing racial mixing?! And by the way, in order to ‘pass’, you’d need to be offered first. Tragic.”
mark-the-jock: “There is a difference between racism and sexual preference. Personally, I am not attracted to Asian men. So to answer your question, would I date or sleep with this guy if he offered? Absolutely not! Would I be friends with him if he turned out to be a really nice and fun person? Definitely!”
mark: “In other words, you could like him, but not fall in love with him – because of his racial characteristics. Which means you see the race before the person. Which is racism.”
Since I’d rather not taint the direction of this discussion, I’m going to refrain from chipping in with my own opinion. And while I apologize in advance for putting either guy on the spot, we thought it was important to ask–which one of “the marks” do you agree with?
– Dewitt
It’s the American way, it’s what this country was built on…
I think the language Mark-the-jock used is a little bit racist, but I think someone else could’ve made the same point without using racist language, and be correct. You can’t help what you’re attracted to.
Am I sexist because I don’t want to fuck a chick? I mean, technically, I’d be seeing her as a gender instead of as a person, so maybe that means all gay people are sexist. Obviously, Mark’s logic just doesn’t hold in other scenarios.
I really don’t like it when people call the United States “America.” It is not “America,” it is the United States. America consists of two continents and should be called the “Americas” duh. Founded on thievery, war, ignorance and injustice is the true US way lol. Anyone reading a US history book would know that. I, however, do not agree with anyone up there. If you are going to write a preference down, you need to go about it in a slightly more positive way. Express yourself like, “I like Latin men the best!” It is less offensive and it spells a preference. Also, it is a lot more positive sounding. Saying “I don’t like Blacks or Asians.” is really rude and yes, does sound a little prejudice, not racist. So maybe the guys preference does not include Asians, doesn’t mean he is racist, just means he is not very good at wording things to make them pleasing. But than again, this is a site in which sex is the ultimate goal so who cares right?
I’m almost afraid to post a comment, for fear of a flame war. “mark-the-jock” could definitely have phrased his response better, though. Over the years, I’ve dated (and slept with) Asians, African-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, and other caucasians of various backgrounds. I definitely have a physical type, or preference if you prefer, of the kind of men I am turned on by. But I also have a certain type of personality and intellect I am turned on by, which is just as important.
Would I date or sleep with men not of that type? Obviously, since I have, but they wouldn’t be my first choice.
Simply stating a preference. How is it any different than saying no fems, no fats, no smokers, D/D free, or seeking top/bottom only? When people express a preference for other races over my own, I don’t get personally offended. People need to chill out.
I don’t think its racist at all. I just think its stating ones own preference. NOW could he have phrased it better yes. We all have our own preferences on whom we find sexually attractive.If you prefer Older men or younger men does that make you ageist?
victor: That’s a very ignorant argument on phrasing the US v. USA…lemme take a wild guess…American? Dolt.
Phrasing without being insulting is definitely the key,but HOW?
I find comments like ‘no fats,no fems,etc’ to be just as insulting.But as a titled area of the American(s) Culture,we really ought to be more open.And as Gay/Lesbian/Transgender,we oughta be more accepting and open to each other.And less insulting.Think before u dismiss.
Why don’t we think of it another way? If someone had an ad that said “Whites Only!!!” would saying it is just their “preference” make it ok? As part of an inter-racial couple, I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been told that only one of us was desirable because someone either wanted to get fucked by a black guy or only wanted a white guy. Those kids we’ve typically ignored because our preference is not to deal with ignorance.
With billions of folks on the planet, saying that you’re not attracted to someone because of their racial background is prejudiced more than it is racist. You can say it’s just how you’re wired but to totally discount someone because they look too much like their own background is a bit extreme. I do remember an old fuck-buddy who said he never fucks black men. Now we’re years later and most of the guys he mostly sleeps with black men. Of course he doesn’t tell his friends about that desire either.
It’s all a combination of things. Prejudice, background, innate attraction and self-image. Not a simple answer to a pretty simple question.
this is a very thought provoking question…
personally i date guys of all races, and when it comes down to it: when the lites are off, dudes of all races have the same basic equiptment!
what if you don’t date hispanic men, BUT you’ve been dating a guy for years who is 100% hispanic from somewhere like Chile (and you didn’t know he was Chilean), does that mean you have to dump the guy or just change your view on the world?
People of all races (especially here in the united states) all look soo diverse no matter what their ethnicity is, so how you can count one race out, im not sure…
I had an African coworker, who was born in Europe, But she could have [passed] for any number of ethnicities including; Indian, Mexican or West Indian…. I say that to say; looks can be deceiving…
i can answer this question of yours in one sentence, Dewitt:
**in regards to Nationality/Race/Ethnicity/Skin Tone/Whatever,** it is almost Completely Impossible (and would be Totally Irresponsible) for any given person to correctly proclaim, wholesale, “i have _zero_ interest in having sexual/intimate relations with any members of XYZ or ABC” without there being, at the very least, a prejudicial sentiment behind it.
period.
whether you want to admit to That or not.
(obviously, i will need to back up this assertion i just made — which i will do, below)
you just can’t eliminate entire groups from your consideration, Without Question or Pause, like that … unless it’s being done specifically because of your distaste of those individuals’ Skin Colour, *and/or* because of assumptions you had already made about the Cultural/Behavioural Background & Affiliations in association with that particular group.
by *no means* am i saying, however, that you are required to be attracted to every “type” equally.
far from it.
for example: you can _find_ yourself attracted to Samoans/Hawai’ians more than Blacks.. ..and more to Blacks than Latinos, next… …and to Latinos more than Western Asians, forthwith ….. and so on.
the key continues to be, you can’t *blindly* go about setting and applying your restrictions.
you need to try (_try_) to do your judging on a case-by-case basis.
(all of us Judge.
don’t listen to the scoundrels who’d try to tell ya, it’s not O.K. to do so.
case in point: why do you think we put Judges into court, and encourage police officers to patrol our streets?
when these people formulate and execute their *assessments* correctly, you-all are quite glad they’re there.
{rather, it is when they let Bias/Incorrect Information cloud their decision-making, that Problems arise.}
why do we say, the person who finished a foot race in 23 seconds lost to the person who completed it in 18 seconds?)
by *all means,* don’t force yourself to do something that you don’t like.
don’t try to mesh yourself up with something that you’re just not compatible with, no matter what compromises you try to make with it.
but establish That, based on your own experiences. and not from what your (mis-informed) Peers told you.
any questions?
I don’t give a Rat’s A**. Free Speech, don’t like leave on your Politically-Correct Crusade Cruise Liner and go somewhere else. WTF be a man. Just F* it if you like it. If not find an a** that works for you. Though I will change my profile and include:
“NO UNI-BROWS”. That work for you?
I’m just loving the whole I don’t think he is a racist “he just needs to phase things a lil better” with means he needs to find more acceptable words to make it seem like he’s not a racist asshole for saying that. Bottom-line Mark the Jock, unfortunately represents some gay men that are just as close-minded as he is, the type of men who usually end up alone, because they are all so worried about status, that they never see the person for who they are on the inside just their race. I’ve never dated an Asian man but if he was a good person and I liked him enough I wouldn’t turn him away. Being a gay black man, I’m used to seeing close-minded guys who think being with their own race will make things easier for them as far as their own issues with being gay. I’m pretty much open with race, as others should be at least open enough to experience something different, learning about yourself in the process, there are too many beautiful colors in this rainbow to just be satisfied with just one shade.
Manhunt is, largely, about hooking up. It’s not about finding some deep-seated emotional attachment to someone, and thus has nothing to do with whether or not your hookup is a wonderful person on the inside.
If I’m not generally attracted to asian men, for example, I figure it’s fair for me to say “not into asian guys” on my profile. It saves me from having to answer emails from guys who are likely not going to be attractive to me, and it saves the asian guys from wasting time messaging me when they could be out finding someone who *is* interested.
As for whether or not I should pick my attractions based on race – I’d suggest that we’re all attracted to different things, that physicality plays a part in it for everyone (yeah, you too!), and that I think I get to decide for myself what turns me on without being subjected to righteous preaching from a bunch of overzealous do-gooders.
If being filtered out by your race hurts your feelings – grow up! It’s Manhunt, not a job application.
this has just gotten stupid already…
Damn, hense what I just said- closeminded The type of men who usually end up alone..
Look, best advice here is to avoid white South African guys… they would have to be the most vile creatures on Earth.
Suspicious & nasty – they can turn on you like a viper and you won’t know why and you’ll never know why – what brought it on, and neither will they themselves.
Its a very, very sad race.
I can only tell the men here that if you must blow with these guys – then have your cock in one hand (or theirs) and your car keys in the other!
Yeah, all people with the similar shaped eyes, similar skin color or hair must be of the same race. You people are dumb asses… race is a social construct and how you view race i.e skin color is not about what you are naturally attracted to. You weren’t born being attracted to just one type of person you learned it.
By all means please let me know if you are narrow minded and ignorant so I won’t waste my time. But don’t try to pass it off as natural and benign.
I agree with the no racist thing. What Im not agree with is the “should say better” part.. What’s the big problem. He is two asian for him, he wouldn’t fuck him, but he would be friend of… he just told things like there are, so why be offended about it?? I think is silly.
And to GLB, I dont agree. I believe people who is close minded is the moralist people that believe eveything in life should be color pink. If someone dont finds you atracted by any cause, what’s the big deal. And I dont believe is a thing of chosing just their color of the raibow, but not chosing another color in specific instead. Meaning, if I dont like A or b people, then i dont go foward too.
I must say that preference, after all, is not the final word. I think many here has fucked with guys they dont like at least one, and even so, enjoy it a lot. Myt self dont consider my self bi cause Im not foward to girls, but yet, I had fucked a couple and it was fantastic, I just like men a lot a world more, and dont see my self in the future witha girl.
So probably by seeing a pic, or in the club, or by talking with someone, we would say “i dont like it, i wont fuck him”, but after being rubing his bulge shirtless 5cm away from your face, you probably get rid of his pants and beggin to blow. erection decides it all. And after sex, many guys involve sentimentaly, as friends, fuck buddies and even lovers, spite they didnt felt atrracted in the first sight.
“First impression is the most important” is a lie when it comes to sex and love. many borfirends and lovers bagn hating each others!!
So dont be so extreme when some says “I dont like him because he’s…(race, body shape, body hair, hair color, size, etc..) Its not the last word!!
racist.
I say it’s just a preference. I’ve never been attracted to most SE Asians, blacks, or Hispanics (with a few rare exceptions), just like I’ve never been attracted to most skinny, hairless guys, really effeminate guys, guys in drag, bleach blondes, and women. That doesn’t mean I have anything against those people (heck, half of my friends are Chinese, Korean, or Indian); it’s just what I’m attracted to. Doesn’t mean I’ll automatically write off someone in one of the above groups, either, but 99% of the time, I’m not attracted to them (and I’m a very visual person; I have to be turned on by someone before I’ll sleep with them).
By the way, in regards to Mark’s comment at the top, it is possible to fall in love with someone without being physically attracted to them. Might mean you have to work a little harder to make it last, but lust =/= love.
all these snobs and self righteous douches claim that they’re so good and so social cause they will do anybody as long as it has a dick. You guys have been rejected so much that instead of blaming your lack of personality and average body, you blame it on other people’s preferences. Shut up, let people love whomever they like without feeling guilty. I’ve been so hurt with white guys being only into asian or blacks but i havent called them racist for not liking me…
I think is all about what gets your dick hard or not. Well that’s what I think as a top. There some guys who can get me hard in a second, but for example I dont feel so attracted to Indian guys, I try to be with some but my dick just wouldnt get hard.
Stating race as the major pre-requisite is simply racist, period. The value of human being does not depend on color but rather personal and social qualities. It real show how shallow, short-minded and arrogant a person is by screening race.
In plain english: Racism is racism, lets not try to cover it with sweet words
by all means write your “preferences” on your profile. it not only tells those undesirables who not to write to, it also announces to everyone else how idiotic and yes small minded you are. even if you are allergic to a certain race (because you were born in some back woods or are unable to think a thought of your own), what’s the point of quoting a jim crow sign. is it that hard to just delete a message from a person you dont like? do you get bombarded by so many messages from a certain race that you have to flat out discourage all of them from writing to you? if that’s the case, then move to a country where those “people” wont bother you (are they even people?). better yet start your own site and only include your preferred groups. maybe have toga parties, where you wear sheets over your faces, fuck each other and extol the virtues of your preferred race.
bottom line, if you wouldnt walk around the streets with a t-shirt that says “i only fuck other white guys”/ “no x”, then why the fuck should it be ok here? it’s not ok in real world because it is insulting, prejudicial, hurtful and yes RACIST. so dont do it here or at least do it and embrace your racism, love it, fuck it…and see the paragraph above.
Oh gee. America, the land of Political Correctness. Some of you seem to think that we are socially obligated to be EQUALLY attracted to EVERYONE the same amount, regardless of gender, race, age, size, mannerism, body hair or teeth color. That’s the only way to not be a discriminative asshole, right?
Let’s look at the definition of RACISM: “A belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race.” What’s the keyword here? SUPERIORITY. If someone makes a blanket statement like “Whites are superior to Asians” or “Asians are superior to Whites”, they are racist. However…
If someone says “I am only (physically) attracted to White/Asian guys”, is that implying that one race is simply superior? I’d say NO. Sexual attraction is not a judgment on capability or superiority – I think many of us know that from experience! This is just like “I am only attracted to men” is not sexism, because it doesn’t imply that men are superior to women overall.
Simple preference does not equal discrimination. I’ve know Whites who are only into Whites, Whites who are only into Asians, Asians who are only into Whites, and Asians who are only into Asians. Are they all racists? Or only some of the four categories?
So yes, it does come down to how you express the message. Saying “I prefer white men who are masculine and in shape” is just being honest. Saying “no fats fems asians blacks” – That’s just rude.
To tresqboy:
“Stating gender as the major pre-requisite is simply sexist, period. The value of human being does not depend on gender but rather personal and social qualities. It real show how shallow, short-minded and arrogant a person is by screening gender.
In plain english: Sexism is sexism, lets not try to cover it with sweet words”
It is racist. That is the bottom line.
That’s exactly what I was going to write Radcliffe: it is just plain racist!
It’s quiet funny how someone having a preference is automatically marked as Racist. I am a white guy that grew up in a racist family. My grandfather was one of the biggest racist I knew. His views did not influence me and I am currently in an interracial relationship of 10 years. Matter of fact my lover is the first black guy I have ever been with. I’ve been with a few other black(bi-racial) guys since, however it wasn’t because they were black…
It was mostly because gay black men I met in New Orleans were catty lil queens. And I find that unattractive.
Personally, most Asians I found that are attractive to me are almost in the same boat. The more masculine Asians (I like to call them Americanized Asians.) are the ones that I like… They are just so far and in between.
Does that make me racist because my preference is more complicated then you see on my profile? If I have a preference I don’t have to put the reason of the preference. Stop being a Hypocrite and accept peoples personal preferences as is and don’t just assume they are racist.
And to whoever is thinking about responding well its obviously I am a bottom so I should just put no-fems in my profile… you would be wrong… I am versatile… and I prefer masculine all around but I wouldn’t turn down fem white, latin, or native Americans but then again those fems are more masculine then fem blacks and Asians I have met.
The fact of the matter is that yes, it is racist. That is not, however, the absolute worst thing in the universe. I know I’m quoting a song here, but EVERYONE’S a little bit racist sometimes. It sucks, but it’s true. There’s no use getting defensive about it and claiming you’re just expressing “preference”. The key is to try not to let whatever internalized racism you have cloud your world view. Deal with it and work through it. That doesn’t mean you have to go out and screw guys you’re not in to. Just man up and acknowledge your own limitations. What IS uforgivable though, is lack of courtesy. How you say something IS important. The tone of the statement that started this whole conversation was exceptionally rude and offensive.
Everyone should go to http://www.sexualracismsux.com
I don’t think you can put this sort of thing in the same category as body type, height, weight, fem, etc, etc. Those are preferences. I love blonds, and red heads, but I prefer brunettes. I like dicks but I prefer a big dick. Thats a prefence. How someone can exclude an entire RACE of people is beyond me. You should get out and do some traveling and see all the hot guys in the world.
As a bi guy, I think there’s something weird about how much of a bigger deal the whole race thing is in the gay community. Straight guys understand that hot is hot. I don’t know a single hetero guy who would say, “She’s hot, but sorry, I don’t fuck Asian/Black/Latina/White chicks.” That guy doesn’t exist.
Its like gay guys are where straight guys were in the 1950s – that’s probably how far back you’d have to go to find a straight guy who would rule out a sexual partner by race.
sf guy, i know so many straight and bi guys who limit themselves to certain race. if what you’re sayin is true there would be a higher percentage of interracial marriages!!!
bing, marriage is actually another issue altogether. The question on this site was one of sex – as in – would you not hook up with someone strictly based on race. And if you’re telling me that you have a bunch of straight friends who say they wouldn’t sleep with a hot woman of a different racial background, I find that hard to believe. Because I don’t know a single one. Not one. Even the racist redneck I knew in college would have no issue whatsoever around this.
it’s really simple..who you’re attracted to in inherent in you…everyone has the right to discriminate whom they want to sleep with – as long as the discrimination goes no further than that..because I’m not sexually attracted to a certain race or gender doesn’t mean I’m going to treat them any differently on a HUMAN level; with the respect, consideration, and with the manners I was taught to expect from other people.
so sf guy, you’re saying that str8 guys fuck and use other races to get off but they would not marry them…thats so much more racist…so you can fuck them but not love them. Wow, I have more respect for those who stick to one race/their own race to fuck and love.
I love how you can tell who the minority queens with self-esteem issues from being rejected are.
I agree with sf guy. I’m black and bi, and I’ve found that women of all kinds hit on me, but when it comes to guys, pretty much only other black guys show interest.
To bing, as has been said over and over – this is a hook up site – specifically for the purpose of fucking. Isn’t that exactly what we’re all doing here? Whether you respect them or not is immaterial.
And to throw in a little data, a recent study of relationship patterns for the last two years showed that the group most likely to DATE – not just hook up – outside their race – is GAY WOMEN. The least likely? Gay men. Both heterosexual women and men (in that order) are in between.
the best thing I’m seeing, here, is all the people in this forum who, explicitly or implicitly, are defending such lack of manners, consideration, and open-mindedness.
and it’s unfortunate that what I, personally, said earlier largely seems to be getting disregarded.
(i see no need to repeat any of it, since it’s still right there in Plain English.)
if you-all were to get out of your little Self Importancy Bubbles and take a few moments to actually *read* for once in your lives, you’d learn something.
(you’re apparently not too strapped for time, if you can find a moment to log on to this blog!)
at any rate, i don’t appreciate peoples’ attempting to confute “political correctness” with “respect,” and trying to duck Personal Accountability by … putting the blame back on us who complain about such discrimination and/or thoughtlessness.
(it must be nice, Bill, not to be a “minority queen.” if i am interpreting the tone of your comment correctly, then you must be White; if i am, in fact, correct, then i can say that you’re one of those white guys who’d i have no interest in, Sexual or Otherwise, irrespective of how “attractive” you look, anyway.
and i’m willing to extend This, by saying that i wouldn’t even deign piss on you, if i knew that my doing so would save your life.)
as “aries” was saying a few posts ago, the realm of Skin Colour just is completely different from the realm of other attributes, as “eye colour,” “cock measurements,” “physique build,” “height,” “circumcision status.”
case in point?
how many battles have We ever collectively fought, over being rejected for not having the correct Foot Size? Employment?
but for how many years.. ..how many words, how many people?
how much Energy has been spent, indeed, in regards to this very matter that some of you continue trying to minimalize, either from your seats of Privilege, Oblivion, or Ignorance?
apparently This matters to more than just a few negligible people, if you keep seeing Point of Contention come up all the time.
i don’t appreciate the taunts of “being too PC,” and i don’t appreciate the few others here who have more or less said “get over It,” just because “it’s a hookup site.” if things were that simple, then Dewitt would not have made this a topic of discussion.. ..and there wouldn’t be 40 Comments on it: which is a lot for this blog, considering the attention span (and level of Courage) of the patrons it mostly serves.
(did any of you pay attention to That Photo which is right below the post title?
a lot of us are made to feel like that licorice gummy, every day.
so how dare you tell us, “suck It up.”)
it’s that very mentality which also contributes to this country’s (if not the world’s) downfall.
i’m sorry if you’re too simple-minded to comprehend that.. ..if i had my way, *i* would outlaw simple-minded/non-empathetic individuals like You from ever having internet access again. (Then, perhaps, you could finally have an idea of what Discrimination is like. and how funny it isn’t.)
fuck.
my nose crinkles, when i see guys whom i’m *not* sexually-attracted to say “no XYZ/ABC/LMN.”
(honestly?
how many of those same people _do_ also extend their [Skin Tone] Discrimination past their bedrooms?
i won’t say, “all of them,” but i will confidently assert, “most of them.”)
i definitely don’t like seeing “whites only” (and i barely have much more respect for guys who say “whites/latinos only,” because what such individuals really mean, most of the time, is, “whites/white-looking latinos only”), because That’s basically racist.. ..but i also can’t abide other Peoples of Colour’s inexorably excluding entire groups either: That’s prejudiced.
(it’s pretty meaningless for the P.o.C.s to be “retributive,” and it does no good to take up the same spirit of thoughtlessness that those whites who *do* discriminate have.)
far from advocating a “Rainbow Coalition,” because i know that there are many irreconcilable Cultural Clashes between nationalities/ethnicities, all i’m really asking for is, your Honesty.
i’ve said it elsewhere: *if* you’re going to discriminate (based on Skin Tone), then own up to that.
say, “due to preconceived notions i have about XYZ/LMN/ABC, i want nothing to do with them.”
say, “i just don’t like people of ABC/LMN/XYZ, because of their Skin.”
if you tell me, “that’s too much,” “that’s too hard,” then it’s likely you’re one of “those ones” who basically just took on a Prejudiced Mind-Set because it was easier than just trying to deal with other people on an individual basis.
(let me tell you a secret: some white people may say, “whites only,” but that doesn’t mean they will sleep with another white person that you or me would know, without question, is unattractive.
what a limited life, indeed, to be exclusive {no matter the ethnicity}: such individuals had better latch on to something good if they find it.. ..their options being so limited.)
i would, in a perverse kind of way, respect the guy who’d fiercely hold on to his Convictions: when presented with a person of “conflicting ethnicity” (that is naked, and stroking a nice, hard dick) who, without question, is just One Hot Number, in all aspects, he’d still say, “no interest in touching ya, buddy.”
even if that same (bigoted) person is slowly “growing wood” at the sight of what’s in front of him, in spite of his prejudice.
I love how you suggest that when “Peoples of Colour” (wtf? seriously?) do it, it is ‘prejudice,’ but when white people do it, it is ‘racism.’
It’s already been addressed that racism is literally defined as the belief that one race is superior to another. Does declaring a preference suggest that one is superior to the other? Only in your personal tastes, which I don’t think should you should hold against someone.
There is a difference between saying “no blacks/latinos/asians/etc..” and saying “I prefer whites”. One is racist, and one is a preference. I think black jelly beans are kinda gross, but I’m not just gonna throw them out, so I eat all the other ones first, and eat the black ones last. A preference doesn’t deem them less than, or unworthy, merely suggests an order of operations.
But yes, tell me how all of this only makes sense to me because I’m the white devil, and obviously I can’t understand the hurt you poor minority queens feel everytime you don’t get to screw the guy you want to screw.
Guess what? Certain races can be truthfully stereotyped to generally possess certain similar facial and other characteristics. It can easily be generalized that you are not attracted to a certain race when not taking outliers into consideration.
It’s probably some really ugly ass guys that are arguing this shit who want to think they don’t get guys because they’re black, and not just because they’re ugly.
Preference is Not Racism, One can contradict the opposite by not dating within your race yet following your cultural events and traditions. Big difference is also that racism tends to involve oppression, stereotypes, and fear or aggression to a group. Preference is plain and simple “To Each His Own” like being gay.
i have some other things i … prefer doing, at the moment: so, my “extended” response to you, bill, and Alex (but mostly to bill), will have to come later; for now, i will be content with proclaiming the following——
the short of it is, the neither of you said anything that makes me feel like i am wrong.
and i will not allow you to sit there and tell me (or even imply, by exclusion/omission) that *every*time an AD Poster utters “that special thing” which has been setting more than a handful of Us off, it is always because was just making a simple, innocent statement of his “Preference,” and never because he was covertly staking an assertion of individual mal-bias (fueled by whatever motives he might have for entertaining them).
any reasonable person is not focused on the individual who says something to the effect, “although i do encourage All to give me a holler, i’ve found that i have an above-average attraction to [XYZ], so i would be extra excited if i do hear from you!” or even “although i do encourage All to give me a holler, i feel i need to give fair warning, that i don’t find myself being especially attracted to [LMN] or [ABC] very often, so there is a chance (but _not_ a guarantee) that i will decline a `proposition´ you may send my way.” (for the latter, he may even want to tactfully throw in, “it might save us both some trouble if you just let me make the initial contact.”)
i’m surprised i didn’t think of it sooner, but, yeah: there is a difference (and probably a huge one, indeed) between “preference” and “attraction.”
“i prefer Czechs over Lithuanians.”
“i prefer medium dicks over large dicks.”
“i prefer Guamians over Canary Islanders.”
“i prefer gents with Jet Black Hair over strawberry blonds.”
“i prefer Sicilians over The Swiss.”
read over those five, carefully, and then make your best, straight-faced, fully-thought out, attempt to tell me that That didn’t give you any pause at all.
come, Bill, alex, et al.
i dare you.
(however, i’m not saying it’s bad to have a preference.. ..rather, i just want you to check your reasons for having It.)
(we can’t necessarily downplay the importance of language {i.e., “semantics”} either, although it is still best not to abuse it.)
(and i will now say something that definitely should not be considered “political correct,” although i will be accompanying that statement with a Caveat, afterwards: It just does matter more when a white person has, and expresses his prejudice, or/and executes racist actions.
{_that_ is just the way it is; and until there is a Change in this perception, *you* will need to “get over it.”}
but, for the second time, i will tell you that it’s not okay for Persons of Colour to discriminate, either.
and, yes: we can be Racist, too.
all of That is within a completely different ball park however, so i won’t elabourate upon This, here…)
i was wanting to say, i concur with what afersakajamie said, near the beginning of this thread.
basically: just because a person *looks* to be of a certain ethnicity, doesn’t mean that he is of It or, for that matter, even considers himself to be of It.
so if you are one of “those ones” who bases a prejudice (or “preference,” if you want to take the Pussy’s Way Out) specifically upon a person’s being a certain type of nationality/ethnicity, then what would you do with this person?
what if that person is of *your* Ethnic Group?
will you still not invite him to your bedroom, because he appears Not To Be, in spite of the technical commonality?
i like the spirit of what peopleAreIdiots said, and i am very much agreed with Chaton Enrage (especially since it’s basically what i stated, anyway).
I chose not to help gay people that subscribe to the same type of thinking as mark-the-jock. That doesn’t make me a homophobe, it is just a preference. Can’t fault me for that.
I think it’s racist of you to imply that it matters more when white people make remarks considered to be racist vs. people of other races. You are implying that, somehow, white people do not have the same freedom as other races in this arena, that white people are some how beneath the others in the ability to have a preference without it being considered racism.
You, sir, are a dirty, dirty racist.
For the most part I’m not attracted to black guys. Just not idk why.
For the most part I’m not attracted to black guys. Just not idk why.
Well, I am Asian (or Oriental, as we say in the UK).
Pretty much every other jock-like guy who I fuck with tells me that he is “not usually into X” – but hey, it doesn’t stop them, clearly.
I really want to say this for the benefit of younger guys who might feel uneasy about themselves when they read statements like “not into X”:
Yes, it probably is, and likely will be harder for you to hook up with the classic, all-American, A&F type jock, than it is for another similar jock. But, that is not your problem. There are really plenty of guys out there who don’t have specific preferences other than fitness levels (everyone likes ’em firm and taut, no?). And another thing, guys – it was only 50 years ago that schools were segregated. Give it time!
Go train, read and be merry.
Life is fucking fantastic.
People need to think about how they say it.
Saying simply “no this or that or I just won’t reply and you’ll get blocked, so don’t bother” is a little racist.
It’s like saying that you won’t even acknowledge that this site can actually be used to make new like-minded friends.
Saying something like “I PREFER this or that for dates etc” and possibly saying that you only want to use MH for hookups clearly will save a lot of hassle.
As for racism in general, I think a lot of blame has to be put on Hollywood. In the past they got away with it due to segregation etc. But in this day and age, more black (and other races) need to be shown more.
We all go through the stage of wishing we could be fame-whores, and that’s at one of our most influential stages of our lives!
So why hasn’t hollywood and commercialism stepped up?
No, I agree with him. I’m sick of stupid people in the US calling this country “America.” “America” is the entire landmass in which the United States OF AMERICA can be found. (Hint: It’s not called “the American continent” just because this country happens to be on it…)
Is his mind close, or is his mind closed?
How could there be an “order” to straight women or straight men being more or less likely to date outside their races? You can only really measure something’s likelihood by actual incidence, not by immaterial verbal declarations; since those two categories (hetero women and hetero men) are dating each other, the likelihood can only be equal between them. A straight woman can’t date a straight man of a different race unless there is a straight man of a different race willing to date her. Am I wrong here?