Time for a confession! I've slept with more married men than I can count on my two hands. Though I'm fully aware that I'm taking part in a potentially hurtful activity, I just can't convince myself that I'm doing anything wrong. After all, they were the ones who propositioned me. They were the ones who asked me to fuck them. And they were the ones who asked me to do it while their wife was working late. They're the ones cheating. If they're not sucking my cock, they'll find another cock to suck. Why let someone else have all the fun?
Now I fully understand that this is hypothetically "wrong", but it feels so damn right. Every straight married man I've slept with has had a ravenous appetite for cock. And it's not because they're total cum-whores; it's because they're not getting it at home. The repression of others has done wonders for me!
So to answer my own question–is it okay to sleep with straight married men? Probably not. Does that mean I'll stop sleeping with straight married men? Probably not. How about you?
– Dewitt
I’m sure there’s nothing sexier than hooking up with a person that lacks confidence to be himself. Rather than being open and honest with his wife, he lets her and possibly children live a lie. The married man is in wrong and you, Dewitt, enable him to keep the status quo.
I thought it was hot, until one day, i was going at it at this hot Columbian’s place, and stupidly asked. Who are these? and he said, those are my kids. After that, i sorta gave up on the ringed ones, and would you believe it, my karma has changed. So yeah, i stay away from.
The worse thing about sleeping with a married man for gay men is that they, meaning the gay men, usually want more from it. While there is the excitement of that whole “Forbidden” thing, the worst part is some gay men get attached and think they can change him into being “Who he really is” and make him his and that is not the case. Not to mention, the reason so many men are on the down low is because they just aren’t comfortable with that part of their lives and the fear of losing family weighs heavily over anything else.
DeTwitt you’re in denial. You know good and damn well you if you got married to a man and he was sleeping around on you you’d be pissed at him and the guy he was cheating with. It’s not hypothetically wrong and you’re equally to blame as he is.
If a guy’s selling drugs to a kid who buys it, who’s wrong? BOTH OF THEM! The guy’s not innocent for helping the child ruin his life.
If a guy is wanting to fuck a guy when his wife is away he’s quite obviously not str8…
Married men who fuck around with gay guys are having their cake and eating it, too. I used to play the frosting, but it’s too much work keeping the peaks stiff.
I am married and sleep with guys, but I am not straight. The headline aside, I am fortunate to have a wife who knows and has been very supportive of me in figuring things out. There are plenty of married guys out there who aren’t straight and are cheating on their spouses. I’ve encountered (but haven’t slept with) more than my share of them on MH. We all have our reasons for why we are where we are in life. I am lucky to have my wife as my best friend, but no, I don’t get what I need at home.
I saw a great banner at a Prop 8 rally, it said “Support gay marriage and I’ll stop sleeping with your husband.” Once our society stops telling people a man can only marry a woman, things will be a lot better off.
Not for me. Too much like being in the closet. (And pretty disrespectful to the women in the situation.) I don’t fuck around with guys who admit to having (male) partners who don’t know about their extra-curriculars either. (I.e., I always ask what people mean by “discreet.”)
I personally have slept with several married guys. I don’t ever feel bad about it cause I mean lets face it apparently I am giving him something he isn’t getting a home it’s either cock he wants or head. I mean I know ALOT of women that won’t suck cock and if they do they spit. And we all know how much it sucks to have someone spit.
Yes it’s wrong. I hate it when guys on MH are married and try to get me to help them cheat.
If you’re got to sneak around and do it in secret, there’s a huge chance it’s wrong. Especially if you’re on MH trying to trick guys into sleeping with you and you lie about being married.
It’s like that other guy commented on here, would you be pissed if your man did it? Fuck yah you would!
OK guys, in the year 2009 it’s time to drop the Puritanical attitude of “sharing the blame”. It’s also time to stop imposing YOUR morality on someone else. If I am single and sleeping with a married man, I am responsible for MY actions. MY actions consist of having sex with another man. As long as I’m not violating any promises made or hiding any potentially health/life threatening conditions, then what I’m doing is between me and the person to whom I am doing it. And RALPHIE, the comparison to drug dealing to children is both inflammatory and ignorant, because you’re saying that having gay sex is both illegal, and damaging to the lives and health of people, neither of which is a true statement. And we’re not talking about KIDS here anyway!
I get the same kinds of judgements from people who bitch about someone being in an “OPEN” relationship. The parameters of my relationship are set by two people and those happen to be the people IN the relationship.
As long as what happens with others meets the guidelines that my partner and I set for ourselves, then someone else’s opinion is irrelevant unless he is intending to be a playmate. Even then, he only has to decide for himself what he wishes to do.
So, let’s stop trying to define what everyone else SHOULD be doing or what their relationships should be like. I’m not about to let ANYONE tell me how to live my life. If you spend your time and energy defining and dealing with your own life, you’ll soon find you don’t have time to pontificate about others’.
And, there’d be a lot less “Larry Craigs” in the world if we all took a firm stand and refused to accomodate them.
When I was younger it use to bother me that married guys would go into a gay bar and pick up men. Men that I may have been interested in. But now that I’m older, I enjoy going out with married men because I know they wont leave their wives and I’m not looking for LTR.
Shaman, you’re comparison to an “open” relationship is just as irrelevant as the drug dealing example. That is, unless the wife is giving her blessing.
“And we’re not talking about KIDS here anyway!”
Well, actually, yes, we may be…
That’s exactly right, TC. This question is not really so much about straight married men as it is about guys who are cheating, in my opinion. If a guy is in an open relationship and his boyfriend/husband/wife/girlfriend knows what’s going on, that’s one thing. But most married guys are not in open relationships, they’re cheating, and that’s just not right.
Shaman, you can say “Who are we to judge?” but we CAN judge. We can say that it’s wrong for people to lie to each other, it’s wrong for people to hurt each other. That’s just simple ethics.
None of us are perfect, and I’m not advocating casting the first stone. But just because we all make mistakes, doesn’t mean that we live in a free-for-all in which everything we do is okay. It’s one thing to try to be a good person and sometimes fail; it’s another thing to stop trying altogether.
Yeah Shaman, I have to agree with TC on the idea that we are talking about KIDS, and family and someone else’s relationship. It’s not puritanical to think that you have to take responsibility for your actions, and while they may be the one stepping beyond the agreed boundaries of their relationships, your actions, if discovered, could have life altering consequences for several other people. So I’m not saying it’s wrong to see married men, but you have to realistic about who can get hurt. You’re not in this world alone and your actions have consequences, whether you care or not is your business.
I’m with Tim there. This is just a BJ, no strings. I don’t want marriage, and married guys that get no head at home love a guy blowin him. We’re better at it and the cock is harder and it shoots more. What’s to hate?
Damn………
Wow, Dewitt. Great question. A long time ago, when I was much younger (much, much younger), I had no compunction sleeping with married men, whether they were married to woman or in a relationship with a man. After getting my heart broken (and stomped on, mangled and maimed) by a married man I decided that it wasn’t worth the momentary pleasure and made the decision that married men were “off limits”. To me, anyway. I don’t give a good Goddamn what anyone else does — I’m not responsible for their actions but I am responsible for my own. I’ve stood firm on this for many years now (5+) and while I’ve probably missed out on some hot hook-ups I know in my mind I have made — and am making — the right decision. As for other gay men who sleep with married men? Quite frankly, it’s none of my business.
homigawdsMORALITYisALLKNOWINGandevertobethesamethoughEVERYINDIVIDUALisNOTANINDIVIDUAL!
…:P
As long as it is a hook up, I think it’s just fine to sleep with a straight married man. First of all it’s none of my business what he and his wife’s relationship status/rules, etc are. Secondly this is a hook up not an interrogation- I am not going to dig for information. Lastly, everyone is an adult and doing this freely, there is no need for me to become the morality police.
So I’ve learned from Manhunt that gays don’t mind a little incest between 2 hot twins and sex with a married straight man is cool. Is there anything off limits? lol.
I think it is perfectly okay. As long as you don’t fall in love. I would never break up someone’s family, if he was happy with his wife and all he needed was cock occasionally. If we are both getting what we want out of it, we’re being safe and no one is getting hurt, I say what the hell? It is not like he is cheating on his wife with another woman. I’m just giving him what he doesn’t get at home or more accurately cannot get at home.
I can see both sides of this…
Yes, the men are cheating…
I’m sure I’ll get blastedd for this…but, I do feel sorry for many of the men who feel that they are locked into a straight relationship because of family, career, society, whatever…and once in a while, get to experience what it is they “really” want…
But I will tell you this…as for what Ryan said about all of us boycotting sex with married men that there would be no more or a lot less Larry Craigs…that is wrong…
The reason there is so much ‘tearoom’ sex is because of married men…I (thank god) haven’t done that since I was in my early 20’s and didn’t know how to connect otherwise…but I’ll bet if you checked by far and large the amount of men who are doing the bathroom thing are married…
I also know several guys who are “way” into the “str8” guy conquest…one of them was whining to me about how his latest had dumped him and now was going to be totally monogamous with his wife again…
But he also admitted that if the guy left his wife…the thrill would probably be over since he wouldn’t “techically” be considered str8 anymore…wtf?
This premise is so lame I have not even read the comments. Dewitt……
Read my lips. If you are sleeping with a married man HE IS NOT STRAIGHT!
You are sleeping with a gay (or bi) man who is married.
Seems to me that the twits on here who say “I’m just having fun, he’s the one who’s doing something wrong if anyone is” need to take a pill.
The first question to ask is, Is it okay in this guy’s relationship/marriage for him to be having sex with someone else? If the answer is yes, then it’s clearly not a problem. But you can’t take his word for it; you have to hear it from the boyfriend/wife/partner. All too often “S/he knows, s/he just doesn’t want to hear about it” means “I’m trying my best not to let him/her know I’m cheating”.
If the answer is no, then sleeping with him is enabling his wrongdoing. You’re an accomplice, and as such, you’re guilty too. (“Honest, Judge, I was just holding the bag for him at the bank, he’s the one who took the money”).
“marriage” is a lame concept anyway.
what needs to be done is, we need to see what would start happening, once “the non-normals” no longer have to endure such wide-spread Oppression.
for starters.. ..the number of males who would identify as “Exclusively Heterosexual” will decrease.
and, probably, by a pretty decent percentage.
I stand behind my earlier statements. And NO we are not talking about “kids”… the initial question concerned “married men”… and involved only the premise that the individual had a wife that we presume he is cheating on.
I’m all for taking responsibility for my own actions. But my contact with a married man typically begins and ends with taking his pants down and relieving his pent up sexual frustrations before he goes home to whomever is there.
Frankly, I don’t ask about his wife or if he has children. My actions consist of sexual gratification and my responsibility begins and ends with making sure that interaction is safe and gratifying (in both cases, for myself and for him)…
You may disagree with me, but it doesn’t make me wrong.
Shaman YOU made the bad mental connection about gay sex being illegal with my example cause that’s definitely NOT what I said nor implied. The analogy compared to having sex with married men as wrong.
“You may disagree with me, but it doesn’t make me wrong.” That along with the rest of your last post provides a great example of your skewed logic and rationalization of your actions. YOUR gratification doesn’t determine whether or not your actions are right or wrong.
this is manhunt.
please realize that you are having a discussion about morality on a blog that has banner ads for brother having sex with each other.
and its gay sex too.
its 2009. can we please drop the facade of juedeo christian morality in america?
there are quite a few dudes who feel they have to take up the façade of being Heterosexual: going so far as to drag (and, even, create) Innocent People just to maintain that outwardly-illusion.
if given a choice, a number of them wouldn’t even practice bi-sexuality.
but, that shame, or fear, or whatever, compels them to do something they probably don’t want to.
and we all lose out, as a result.
the original definition of “gay” (for males) after all, is “a guy who has sexual relations with another dude.”
(there are plenty of females {i guess} who would be more than happy to suck a cock, or even take It up their asses {although, since Pussy is so much more easier to deal with, why go through the hassle of fucking Ass?}.
so, there really is no need to seek relations with another dude, unless that is what he wants.
and it still don’t matter if this gentleman is the “giver.”
as soon as you executed the action of “getting relief” from another dude, you became gay — or, at least, bi-sexual.)
In my opinion, it is ok. I give them what they want (and believe me, I give it to them) and they give me what I want. I have no contact other than hot, rutting man sex with them. I don’t want them to go home with me, I will have sex with them again, but they come to me for one reason and that is ok with me. I have one man that I see just at Superbowl time. He likes to watch the Superbowl while being plowed. It is the only time of the year that he allows this kind of sex to happen. I think that men can get off with other men and still be married and straight. They are just helping a buddy get off. That is all. No strings attached.
In my opinion, it is ok. I give them what they want (and believe me, I give it to them) and they give me what I want. I have no contact other than hot, rutting man sex with them. I don’t want them to go home with me, I will have sex with them again, but they come to me for one reason and that is ok with me. I have one man that I see just at Superbowl time. He likes to watch the Superbowl while being plowed. It is the only time of the year that he allows this kind of sex to happen. I think that men can get off with other men and still be married and straight. They are just helping a buddy get off. That is all. No strings attached.
Who’s that hot guy sittin in the chair with the ring on his finger holding his dick???
Who’s that hot guy sittin in the chair with the ring on his finger holding his dick???
Who would expect gay men to feel ashamed for sleeping with married men? You’re living immoral lives in the first place. That should be the answer for 99.9% of you. Nobody should expect gay men to feel bad for sleeping with married men, they shut off their consciences long ago when they first indulged in gay sex. Their actions speak for themselves. The life of a gay man= empty promiscuous sex- wanting a relationship but never finding one, and if in one, never really happy. Most gay men have this effeminate and extremely lost look in their eyes…I have a gift for seeing it as it is. Life has no purpose…you try and find ways (including by sleeping with married “straight” men), but it never really satisfies. Which is why the cycle continues and repeats itself. Really sad and pitiful. I don’t hate gay men, but I certainly feel pity for them. What kind of life is that? A road that leads nowhere. Even if media and current society tries to portray it as finally being able to be free, but you’re really not.
The true issue is, we have nice sex, but where will he be friday night, with his wife, whrer will he be xmas eve, with his wife, where he be when you wake up in the middle of the night, thats right with his wife.  I did not think i would fall in love with him but i did and i have never told another soul that this is going on, o by the way he told me i am his ‘soul mate’. So now i sit alone waiting for him to call I can’t tell anymore if it’s worth it.Â