How do you feel about public displays of affection? Before we continue, I should make it clear that I'm not talking about public sex. PDA is considerably lighter, from holding hands to grabbing your partner's butt. It usually occurs with your pants on (provided you don't live in a nudist colony).
I come to ask this question after encountering a young heterosexual couple holding one another on the train. The guy was kissing and nuzzling his girlfriend's neck, and I became inexplicably infuriated by this. I mean, there I was minding my business, and they feel a need to express their love all up in my face. The nerve of them!
And then I stopped to think how hypocritical I was being. As wrong as it is, I totally would have been cheering for that couple if they had been two men or two women. I'd say in my head, "Work it out! I admire your courage among a public who may not embrace your affection." Instead, I was left thinking, "How could you publicly flaunt your relationship in a world where everyone doesn't have that right?"
I've been there too. When I first started dating my ex-boyfriend, he'd grab my hand and hold it. This wasn't something I was accustomed to, so I immediately withdrew myself. He accused me of having a bout of internalized homophobia. Since I wasn't having that sort of criticism, I held his hand to prove him wrong. Suddenly, I felt empowered. Hand-holding became more exciting than handjobs, because I felt like I was making a social and political statement about who I loved.
Considering all the stuff I blabbed about, it isn't likely that the answer to this question is a simple "hot" or "not". It's obviously more complicated than that. Hopefully, this post will open up a discussion on how you feel about engaging in PDA and how you feel when others do so. Discuss!
– Dewitt
Photo credit: CarbonNYC
For whatever reason whenever I see same-sex PDA I always smile and in some small way I feel proud. I love it, in a non-creepy, totally not a stalker way. Conversely in the immortal words of one Ms. Carrie Prejean, “opposite” PDA is kind of hit and miss for me. Sometimes I think how cute, sometimes I think they need to class it up a little. For my own reasons and insecurities I’m not comfortable with doing PDA’s myself but every time I see a couple, gay or straight I’m always empowered to overcome those feelings.
Personally I feel that PDA is something that we, as gay people, are entitled to, if we so desire. I don’t think we need to go out of our way to make our sexuality noted. But we also shouldn’t be afraid to show our affection for the person we care about in public.
Personally, I love seeing same-sex PDA in public because it reminds me of how happy and proud I am to be gay.
When I say PDA though, I don’t mean sucking face. I think it is rude to do in public, no matter if you’re straight or gay.
I’m with Justin. Holding hands or a quick peck is fine. More than that is a little inappropriate for public, IMO.
Seeing two guys make out might be kind of a turn-on for me, but I don’t want to see a straight or lesbian couple simulate public sex any more than most of them would want to see us doing it. Plus, when I’m single, PDA’s of any gender can bring out the bitter, jealous side of me.
it is not “hot”
more kinda romantic, cute and brave
I am hard core touchie feelie. I love to be cuddled up in a booth leaning against eachother, or holding hands walking through the mall. . .I’ll even go so far as say light making out (but only if in a dark bar out in some corner somewhere, not exactly where I’d want to make out though). But I also love giving out massages too. I agree with Furfiend though, when single (which is most of the time – I’m too picky) PDA of any kind brings out the bitter old Queen in me.
PDA should be private. I don’t care WHO you’re shagging. I only hold hands during sex.
“PDA should be private.”
You do realize how retarded that statement is? PUBLIC displays of affection should be PRIVATE? LOL
When I am in a friendly environment and with somebody dear to my heart, I’d usually have my hand on his ass, instead of holding hands. Sort of having my arm around him, but would stop at his ass. But I love most is to stick a finger in the butt crack in his low waist jeans. lol Love it!
I agree in my small Kentucky town, holding hands is both more exciting, and more dangerous than handjobs. But I love it.
It depends on the level. Hand holding, a quick peck, and touching is fine. Making out, groping, grinding, foreplay and the likes- not so much. Even if I think you’re hot, no. I don’t wanna be subjected to softcore porn everytime I go somewhere, lol.
Personally I think they are uncalled for in most public places. That includes heterosexual couples as well.
In a bar/nightclub, sure! just don’t over do it. Weve all seen or done it at one time in our life (some keep on doing it).
Holding hands, a kiss on cheek is awesome anywhere anytime…anything more is just TACKY.
As a young’un here, i have yet to come out of the closet, so most gay PDA makes me smile like what Alex said. It reminds me that while I may still be in the closet, there are others out there who are just like me.