When I first ran across Sagittarius11’s profile, I knew I had to interview him. Aside from a shared love of weekend getaways, Mexican food and tequila, the man looks GREAT. I don’t know what fountain of youth he’s been sipping from, but as someone in his mid-early-30’s (that’s 33 for those of you keeping score at home), I had to learn his secret.
We talked about life online after 50, his writing pursuits, and about choice and how that affects the way he experiences life.
Read on to find out what Sagittarius11 had to say:
I’ll just go ahead and lead off with the question I’m sure everyone reading this is thinking: “How do you look so amazing at 53?”
First of all, thank you for the compliment! There is a fairly obvious answer to this question: exercise and diet combined with plenty of moisturizer and sunscreen! And probably some good genes in there somewhere. My current exercise routine is a balance of weight lifting, swimming laps and yoga — 3 times/week each.
This formula provides the benefit of strength, cardio and flexibility training that keeps my body in shape and makes me feel good. I am also an ovo-lacto-pesco-vegetarian. (Yes, it’s a word!) I have not eaten meat in over 14 years, and I’ve cut way back on dairy and eggs.
The other part of my answer is more esoteric. I still think of myself as a “puppy” in life. I don’t view myself as a 53-year-old man. In fact, I don’t subscribe to the “yardstick” of age that often defines our looks, health, behaviors, assets and liabilities with a number.
Most people are beholden to this yardstick, and my contemporaries often tell me they do not want to live far past their 80s. That is their choice and their creation. Most human beings have forgotten that they possess the natural human ability to choose, and then create, who they are. I have consciously chosen to live to be 100+ and feel good while doing it. My body, mind and soul are merely a reflection of my choice. I know… HEAVY topic for Manhunt!
Hey, nothing wrong with going heavy! You definitely look great though. Guys half your age are out here aging like leather. What’s Manhunt been like for you so far?
It’s been good. I pay for my unlimited membership, so obviously, there is some value to my Manhunt experience. For me, that value is the opportunity to connect with guys that I might not otherwise run into and learn a little bit about them before we meet.
I get frustrated with the guys who pigeonhole Manhunt into a hookup site or say that they do not expect to meet anyone to date. They are creating their own, self-imposed limitations on Manhunt and I think that’s unfortunate. I tend see the possibilities, not the limitations. As my profile suggests, hookups are fine, but my real desire is to meet a guy to spend the rest of my life with. That’s how I have created my Manhunt experience.
So you’ve met some nice people, I take it — that’s always a good thing. Not to make things all about age, but what’s the online experience like for guys over 50?
It’s whatever experience they choose to create. My personal online experience is not based on being 53 years old. But for many guys in their 50s, I think much of their identity, and therefore their experience, is determined by the date of birth on their driver’s license.
There are noticeably fewer 50+ guys online, even though there are lots of 50+ men in the general population. It’s not until age 55 that this number begins to drop slightly. I’m guessing this is because guys in this age group are more often partnered/married, consumed by life’s priorities and career demands that pull focus from online networking, and because the AIDS epidemic wiped out many gay men who would now be in their mid-late 50s.
It’s not fair for me to speak to the online experience for all guys over 50, but I will share my experience of meeting and dating guys of different ages online.
Whether they realize it or not, men in their 20s and 30s are strongly motivated to understand who they are in this world. One of the best tools for this self-discovery is relationships: romantic and sexual. Relationships offer the opportunity to create who we are (and are not) in relation to our partner. Younger men are eager to connect — romantically and sexually — to figure themselves out. They are fun to date because they are more open to the experience of falling in love, with all the trimmings.
Men in their late 40s and 50s have already tackled much of this self-discovery. They have more fully answered the question of who they are in this world. Because of this, their drive and passion to connect is less. They are more cautious, sometimes even jaded, and harder to connect with online. Ironically, because they have developed a greater sense of self-awareness, they are better prepared to create an honest, healthy and committed LTR. I’d like to think I have some of both in me: an eagerness to connect and fall in love, plus a developed sense of self-awareness.
That’s really good insight. Speaking of self-awareness, you also started a blog and a book about personal inspiration. Can you tell us about that?
Yes! Thank you for asking. I would call it personal enlightenment. My book is about remembering the Truth of who you are, your connection to One (my word for god), and what is really happening here in the human dimension. It is about bringing clarity (Truth) to the purpose and the meaning of your life, and your tremendous potential for Creating a profoundly satisfying Experience – both personally and globally. The tagline for the book says:
How Remembering the Truth of You brings clarity and purpose to your Experience and awakens your potential to participate in our collaborative human Creation.
I have been working on the book for a couple years now and it recently struck me that blogging on the same topic would add some steam to the process.
Stay tuned! Book and blog are on the way.
That sounds intriguing! How long have you been working on it?
I have had this book inside me for over 10 years, but for the longest time, I approached the subject very academically. Each time I wrote, I became overwhelmed and bored with researching and writing. It felt like writing a term paper.
Then, about two years ago, I was dozing off on a flight between Atlanta and DC listening to some very chill music on my iPod. I was in the hypnagogic state — halfway between awake and asleep — so I was very receptive to the Truth that comes through the unconscious. These words to a song caught my attention: “…mind, body and soul….”
I had a moment of clarity, or what I now call Remembering. I remembered at a very organic level that the essence of every human being is quite simply the sum of soul, body and mind, and in this way, we are all intimately connected to One.
From that moment of remembering, the book poured out of me. I have spent the last 2 years writing, editing and rewriting to get the message into a style and format that people can accept and relate to.
Speaking of the last two years, tell me what happened with your dating life two years ago…
About two years ago, I decided to see if I could grow a decent beard. I had not attempted a beard since I was 21 and had been clean cut/clean-shaven my entire adult life. It was time for a change. Wow! What a difference it made. You would have thought I died and came back in another body. All of a sudden I was getting more attention from more guys, often with scruffy faces themselves, which I like. Yep, I’m keeping the beard for a while!
I’m still single, so I guess that’s the bottom line. But I’m hoping to change that with a special guy one of these days.
Hey, the daddy bear look is in! I’m sure you’ll have some guys interested in chatting with you from this interview. Just to wrap things up, what else would you like to share with all the men of Manhunt out there?
Grrrrr…. “daddy bear” – not sure I’m ready to wear either of those labels yet. LOL!
Online social networking provides a tremendous opportunity for creating a positive and meaningful experience for everyone. In profiles, chats, blogs…
● Choose words that focus on the great things about you, not the things that irritate you about others.
● Don’t use your limited character space to “fix” others. Just be an example for what you believe, and others will follow.
● Focus on the possibilities of your experience, not the limitations.
● Know that today you are creating the online community that you will inherit tomorrow.
Namaste. Thanks Karsh.
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