John Mayer Sure Does Love Masturbating, Eh?

John Mayer, penis, butt hole, masturbation, proctologist, quote, Rolling Stone, Dirty Mind, Lonely Heart, musician, singer, Tiger Woods, new generation

Considering that half of you wouldn’t think twice about hopping in bed with him, you probably won’t mind us talking about John Mayer‘s cock. The musician appears in the latest issue of Rolling Stone, and he’s not particularly shy when it comes to talking about his genitals. In fact, he seems to really enjoy the topic.

“I am the new generation of masturbator,” he told the magazine. “I’ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week… I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off.”

I never realized that John Mayer was so obsessed with butt holes! Maybe he’s into them enough to stick his dick in yours? You can probably keep dreaming on that one. As crazy as this guy is, I’m pretty sure he’s crazy in a totally heterosexual way. The only penis he’ll ever love is his own.

– Dewitt

Photo credit: Mark Seliger

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11 thoughts on “John Mayer Sure Does Love Masturbating, Eh?

  1. I’m with Polonius, never cared for the guy.
    Never understood what Alicia Keys saw in him. Girl best wake up from the dream, cause he’s a nightmare.

  2. he is just trying to be the cool guy, the funny guy, the im not afraid to try and be original just like someone said
    a huge douche bag
    with tons of money
    with a face i want to punch lol

  3. man oh man so many issues about a hetero man that says he likes to j/o? you guys think I am bitter? read what you have written here about a man you have never met but think you know everything about.it should make you wonder what guys you don’t know are thinking when they look at you!

  4. Maybe John’s obsessive compulsion to masturbate & fuck in the ass is why he and Jen didn’t make it??
    I can just see Jennifer naked wanting her twat pleased & all John wants to do is masturbate HIMSELF!! Do you know how much that turns women off? They (women) want the man to please them (when they want to do it), and they feel neglected & down right mad if they find their guy masturbating rather than wanting to get between their legs.
    You know, I really wonder about Jen. It’s obvious she can’t keep a man. What’s up with that? Must be more going on, or maybe I should say not going on, with her than meets the eye.

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