It Happened On Manhunt: I Saw Beyond My Shallowness

The man in the picture above is completely irrelevant. Pay closer attention to the writing on his (admittedly photoshopped) boxers—“Don’t judge a book by its cover”. We know, we know! The phrase is a bit of a cliché. With that said, it’s an important lesson learned by the subject of today’s It Happened On Manhunt post.

While we don’t want to spoil any of the details, we’d be doing you a disservice if we didn’t warn you that this tale ends on a sad note. Even so, we felt it was an important story to share, given the amount of disclaimers and deal-breakers people tend to list in their online profiles.

If you wind up reading this and thinking to yourself, “Hey, I’ve had something crazier or hotter happen to me on Manhunt! Why isn’t my story featured on here?”… Well, you’re in luck! We’re still on the search for the best of the bunch.

Simply write us an e-mail at daily@manhunt.net with the words “Best Manhunt Story” in the subject heading. Remember, the folks behind the top entries will receive a FREE month of unlimited membership to Manhunt. What do you have to lose?

– Dewitt

To read this member’s story, follow the JUMP:

Manhunt has always had one simple purpose for me. To find some cute guy who wants to get down and dirty and not bother me the next day. I never knew that Manhunt could teach me to grow up and accept someone who was different than me.

I admit it. I was a complete jerk in the past. If you weren’t young and hung, I wasn’t interested. Had an STD? No thanks. I am not the most attractive guy in the world but I had youth and confidence on my side, so I usually got lucky. I blew off a lot of guys, being a complete jerk who had to have it his way or no way at all. Apparently, my profile gave the impression that I was extremely shallow.

So, after finals two years ago, I was looking for some celebratory man-on-man action and logged in on Manhunt to get right to business. After breezing through a few profiles and sending a few emails (“Damn, you’re hot.  Wanna dump a hot load in me?” – I never said I was particularly poetic in these situations) this guy sent me a message.

His picture was all that. He had this amazing body, beautiful eyes, and a package that told me he had trouble putting on tight jeans. So I jumped at the chance. I sent him a photo, told him my name and age, and told him that I had just finished my junior year exams and wanted to have some fun.

He sent me a message that simply said “Where and when?” I was hard by the time I finished reading that short but oh-so-hot message. But, I knew my roommate would be leaving for a date soon after, so I suggested we meet at a local, quiet bar. This way, I could see him and determine if he was weird (READ: creepy) before I took him back to my place.

I walked in the bar and sat at a table in the back of the room but with a great view of the door. I waited. And waited. Plenty of guys walked in and out, but my tall Adonis never showed up. Feeling like a complete idiot (and having knocked back about four drinks) I decided to leave. I walked through the door and was about to hit the sidewalk when a hand grabbed me on my right forearm.

The hand belonged to this 5’7″ brown haired guy. I thought I had bumped into the guy or something, so I mumbled a “Sorry dude” and turned around. He said my name, which is Garrett. I had never met this guy before so I was getting annoyed. “What man?!”

He said, “I’m Landon.” I was floored. I know that some people lie about their appearance but I was honestly pissed off. Landon wasn’t anything like the guy in the picture. My face must have reflected my own confusion because he said, “Not exactly what you were expecting, huh.”

I wanted to hit the guy. I never lied about myself but he had put on a front.  He wasn’t exactly young (he was mid-30s), he wasn’t tall, and he didn’t look hung. So I just started to walk away. That’s when Landon said, “It’d be a waste to walk away after coming all this way down.”

I lost it. He was calm and collected, and I’d been duped. I turned around and said, “What kind of fucking game is this dude?  Why waste my time?” He looked me in the eye and said, “You never would have been interested if I hadn’t.  And you need to learn how to treat people decently.” I was stunned.

He was right, but that was none of his business. I wanted to say he was wrong, but I’ve never been good at lying. So I just stood there with this, as I later learned, expression on my face that resembled a deer in headlights. But he said, “Let me buy you a beer and we can just talk.” I’m a jerk, but I never turn down a free drink.

It turns out, Landon was a perfect guy. He was hilarious, cunning, and he made me feel like an equal. He challenged me almost the moment we got our first drink by saying “The deal is, in exchange for drinks, you’ll be open-minded and get to know me.” I figured he was trying to get me drunk so he could do whatever, but I can handle my alcohol. So I agreed. And I’m glad I did.

He showed me he was a wonderful guy. We were at the bar until forty minutes before closing. He closed his tab and started to get up. Weirdly, I didn’t want this to end. He turned to me, grabbed a marker from the bar, and wrote something on my hand. He told me that if he wanted to get to get to know me, call him.  Then he just left…

He wrote his number and “Infected.  Deal with it.” On my MH profile I said No sickies. I guess he knew that. But for some reason I wanted to get to know him – and I didn’t have to sleep with him. I called him and we hung out. He took me to a museum right in DC that I had never even seen. He and I spent a lot of time over the next year together. We even made love. Safe, of course.

Then, right after my college graduation, I got a text from his phone. Gave me an address and told me to come when I could. It was a hospital. Landon’s infection had gotten worse and was complicated by pneumonia. I saw Landon, the first real love of my life, die three weeks later from what the doctor called “AIDS-related pneumonia.”

Manhunt gave me the opportunity to feel what unconditional love was – and the pain of losing the love of your life. I believe I will find someone new, but Landon will always be the man who taught me to look beyond the first glance and look deeper. I miss him everyday, but I am so glad I had the time with him that I did.

3,617 thoughts on “It Happened On Manhunt: I Saw Beyond My Shallowness

  1. Wow, it’s really good to know people on this site are actually real, at least some of the time.  This story is touching and has a real sense of honesty, I’m very glad the editorial team selected it for reading.

    I know when this series began it was mostly hot hook up stories (some of which are really hard to comprehend, I’m looking at you Mr. I had a three way with a hot marine and NFL player), but it seems to have turned into more of a focus on the human and emotional side of sexuality.  

  2. Poignant.  Cuts to the heart.  I hope some of the more shallow folks on here actually get the point.

  3. Beautifully laid out story, in a word, compelling….I couldn’t stop reading, and glad I read to the end. 

  4. I’ll just play devil’s advocate here and throw this in: “why is this story any more real than the NFL one? is it because it is sad? maybe it is just better written… a good story does not need to be a true story…

    (btw, I do think this is a good story and the NFL was a joke)…

    anyway, I agree with all of the above, and hope some folks, the ones with the lists, consider this….. 

  5. As a person living with hiv (almost 23 years now), I thank God every day for my partner of 12 years who was able to see beyond everything else, and see me! 

    Bravo Garrett!  I’m sure that Landon is somewhere smiling down at you right now. 🙂

  6. todos esos hombres son muy lindos donde podria contactarlos para entablar una amistad o algo mas

  7. That was a compelling read. I enjoyed it and a really sad ending. I am glad he had that experience though.

    Jess, I have a question. Even with condoms, are you guys not afraid of transferring the disease? I know to look past some things, but I feel like I would always have that in the back of my head and be frightened. 

  8. Are you guys not afraid of transmission, even with protection. That would always scare me.

  9. @Fanny If someone if on meds and their viral load is undetectable, then the possibiliy of transmission is almost nil particularly when using condoms. And even if someone is not on meds there are still ways to properly protect yourself. Look at it this way: the random man you meet on MH for a hook up is probably lying to you about whether or not he has an STI. Or he may just not know. But a man who is honest and open allows you to take steps to protect yourself. If you have sex with someone who is POZ and there is a chance that you may have been infected, there are treatments that if taken within 48 hours of exposure vastly reduce the risk of transmission. Furthermore anyone who is open about their status will try to make you feel comfortable. Its fine to be nervous, but to deny someone because they are honest is silly.

  10. If, by “Bullshit story,” you mean, amazing story, then I agree.  I take my hat off to this guy.  Garrett, I’ve been in the same position as you (in terms of having shallow standards) and I appreciate your story.  Ignore the guys who give you crap for the story and keep on going man.

  11. From a Norwegians point of view (at least mine) Americans tend to be stuck up pricks the whole bunch. That’s of course not true, as I read from the story and from just knowing not all stereotypes should be believed in.

    I like this story if it’s true or not, because it makes a point that really can’t be repeated too many times, do not judge a book by its cover.

  12. Nice story but please stop the hypocrisy! Who are you guys trying to convince?
    1. Don’t have lists
    2. Don’t judge a book by its cover
    3. Blah, blah, blah

    Oh please … we all have lists, standards and a certain amount of shallowness. And there is NOBODY who doesn’t judge a book by its cover. The cover IS the first thing you see.
    We all have our likes, dislikes and preferences and these are the basis upon which we initially decide who we are attracted to or interested in.

    Physically and sexually I am NOT interested in or attracted to older or overweight men. Intellectually and socially I love spending time with older people, I find that I enjoy debating and discussing various topics with them. Most of my friends are at least 10-years my senior. When it comes down to friendships I don’t really care whether somebody is slim, athletic or overweight. It’s all about the inner person, the character, personality and intellect/ education.
    Having said all that, I can’t even contemplate any circumstance that would make me want to be intimate with an old or overweight man. This however does NOT make me more shallow then the next guy.

    So guys please stop acting as though you’re all the Dalai Lama of dating.

  13. Do you have sex with guys who put in their profile they are HIV-?  Just because someone says they are doesn’t mean they aren’t.  People lie.  Guys lie in particular if sex with a hot guy is involved, especially no strings sex.  Chances are you have already had sex with an HIV+ dude, and if you use condoms every time, you lower your risk.   If you want no risk, I would advise you to become a monk.

  14. Fannypack12342, Stop and think for a minute: how many of us have had protected sex with a guy who most likely lied and said he was negative when he wasn’t? The condom didn’t break, so we pronounced ourselves satisfied and never gave it another thought. My point is this: life is full of risk everyday, from crossing traffic to food poisoning in a restaurant. If you’re going to live in fear, you might as well check into the cemetery now because constantly living on the sidelines is no life at all.

  15. I’m calling bullshit on this story.  No sane individual  is going to stick around when some creep lies to them.

  16. Makes a point? The guy who narrated was a jerk who needed a lesson.

    The guy he met had to lie to get attention, love, and to TEACH the lesson to him.

    I’m sorry. I missed something about there being a moral here, or even an interesting story here. This was two sad individuals (one a jerk who was too demanding in his criteria and too judgemental in his choices) and one who was an egotistical and needy prick (he had to lie to connect with this guy… even if he was ostensibly doing it for some altruistic reason) and then they fall in love (according to the first guy) or just get acquainted in time for them to lose each other (according to the second guy, who only wanted to teach the first guy a lesson)… and then after insulting each other’s intelligence, one dies and the other writes to Manhunt with some maudlin epiphany? Dudes… go back to letting the porn do the talking. Some of us are having a hard time with this insult to our reality and intelligence.

    Seriously.

  17. wow …. touching and true, brought a tear to my eye! 
    It is too much to expect that the rude sob’s will read it!  If they did … would mean they’d have to leave the profile page …. 

  18. Well this certainly provides a counterbalance to the “Treasure Chest” disaster that’s brewing in the other post.  Yikes!  It is a touching story (real or not) but the thing is that dude lied and that’s not the best way to start any relationship. We are all so busy trying to be what we think everyone else will want that we forget to just be ourselves and let the people attracted to that find us and love us for that. Being honest and authentic is the only way to truly find love because it says that I love MYSELF enough to be me, just as I am. Not everyone is gonna love that or be “into” me or my look but that’s okay, they don’t need to be.  If others need to judge me by the “cover of my book” then that says more about them and their need to judge than it does about me. Be who you are. Be proud of that. Drop any self judgments. And don’t let anything or anyone stand in your way.

  19. Shit I don’t care if people think thats fake. I wish I had the balls to be more open like that…

  20. This won’t teach anyone anything.  Let’s face it – the overwhelming, vast majority of gays on a “manhunt” are shallow.  What’s ironic is that the overwhelming, vast majority of members of Manhunt are – by “gay standards” – old (meaning over 30), fat (meaning having more than 4% body-fat and don’t have gym-sculpted, plastic bodies) and ugly (meaning they don’t look like a GQ or A&F model).  In other words, the vast majority of Manhunt members are normal, but not even most of them want what’s normal – they want the stereotype and no one else needs apply.  And they wonder why they’re all so lonely, or not even getting some knooky fun. 

  21. My partner and I have sex at least2, sometimes 3 times a week for 12 years now, and he’s still negative (he gets tested every 6 months to be sure).   Is there a danger, yes of course there is, but we both know it, we face it, and we work around it and take steps to protect one another.   It can be done, we’re living proof of it.

    Some people can handle that … some people can’t, and both are equally cool … just be aware and honest with yourself and others.

    And BTW … Charley is right … if you want a 100% guarantee, then you’re better off just never having
    sex ever again … if you can live with that … bravo to you. 

    I’ve been positive for 23 years now, and thankfully, I’ve been  TOTALLY asymptomatic … the disease has never progressed, and my t-cells are always  in the 1100’s.    Also, I show no outward signs such as facial wasting, vascularity, strange fat distributions … etc.   As a matter of fact, I get hit on at the gym all the time … trust me when I say, if you looked at me, you would NEVER know I’m poz unless I told you.

    My advice to everyone, TREAT EVERYONE AS IF THEY ARE POSITIVE.

  22. Let me ask you a question … are you afraid of getting into a car accident every time you get behind the wheel of a car? 

    I would imagine so, that’s why you’re careful … same rules apply to having sex now a days … it pays to be careful … plain and simple.

  23. I can tell you for a fact that I know at least a dozen guys on here that say they’re negative that aren’t.

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