Brought to you by Raging Stallion.

This one is a real doozy, although I applaud Raging for trying something. I never fault people for trying.

Labyrinth features a lot of guys I really really like but with a premise that is needlessly confusing and strange. Let’s get lost in this paragraph for a second:

Naked men prowl a dark, cavernous space hungry for sex. Johnny V sits masturbating furiously, until a knock prompts him to stick his cock through a glory hole where Chris Harder’s mouth awaits. Chris’ body is a composition made of fur and ink. Another cock emerges from an adjacent glory hole. The cocks are close enough for Chris to jack them both off at once when a third cock stabs through another glory hole. Chris shifts from cock to cock, using his mouth and hands to satisfy them all. Johnny comes out, wearing only a leather harness, to discover who’s sucking him. He leads Chris to a dark corner and offers his muscle-butt for the taking. Chris jams his cock in him without bothering to take off his shorts, grasping Johnny’s harness like a pair of reins. Men watch as voyeurs and pleasure themselves. The show changes when Chris and Johnny trade places. Chris is so ready to be fucked that Johnny’s cock slides right in with ease. The excitement of being watched by horned up hunks adds an extra layer of steamy erotica. They switch positions and butt-fuck themselves on opposing ends of a two-headed dildo, achieving simultaneous, noisy orgasms that shoot across the room.

Oh. I see. This almost feels like you’re just throwing sex terms into the sex blender and pouring the result into some kind of sexy tumbler, over sex ice cubes (the little penis-shaped ones that you get for bachelorette parties). I wonder what a word cloud of this would reveal?

Chris, harness another mouth! Dark cock Jonny’s hole.

Glory! Cock mouth – Johnny, Chris, another hole.

Men: Johnny, Chris, mouth cock hole.

See what you can make of this trailer:

That double dildo thing at the end. Is… Huh.

I honestly don’t know what my problem is with this. All the elements are here, including two of my favorite performers, Johnny V and my buddy Chris Harder, there’s even glory holes and a weird dungeon. But this just doesn’t all connect. The scenario feels forced and the guys seem like robots joylessly chugging from one activity to the next; “OH YES. TAKE THAT DICK. NOW I WILL COMMENCE MASTURBATION. OH YES. OH YES. OH YES. SATISFACTORY.”

I know that these dudes are great performers (go watch anything Chris has shot for Cockyboys, or Johnny for American Muscle Hunks), so I’m not about to lay this on them. But I think Raging Stallion just set something up that they weren’t really skilled enough to knock down properly. This is aaaallllmost something, but falls short and ends up sort of a confusing nothing. It’s possible that since this is technically scene 4, I missed the major plot points established in scenes 1-3 and just can’t understand what’s happening in this section. But. I don’t really feel like going back through that, so you let me know if you manage it.

You can watch the full version of this scene here.

The promo photos for this look great though. Well lit, well cropped, beautifully staged and edited. So props to whoever made these happen: