Have You Ever: Been Pressured To Bottom For Someone?

This is a heavy topic for a site like this, but I’ve got to confess, the opening scene for Charlie Harding‘s bottoming debut hit a trigger for me. My intentions were to write an I’ve Never Done This Before post about Charlie’s first time (even though I’m pretty damn sure he bottomed for Jesse Jackman in an unofficial, homemade release last year). Then, I’d dust my hands off, lean back and watch your comments roll in…

Unfortunately? I couldn’t make it past the first two minutes.

The camera starts on a classy pineapple decorative piece, as we zoom out to see Charlie in his kitchen emptying the dishwasher. His real-life partner Scotty Rage walks through the door, sees him putting dishes away and tells him that he doesn’t have to do that. Charlie insists! So, logically, Scotty uses this opportunity to take advantage of Charlie’s generosity and ask him to bottom.

Boyfriends Fighting About Butt Sex

This is where I lost my boner, and I should state quite explicitly, it wasn’t MEN.COM or any of the performers’ fault. They couldn’t have possibly known that my first gay relationship ended due to a similar request. You see, my boyfriend got tired of taking my dick all of the time, and in the interest of equity, he decided it was time for me to “man up” and give up my ass.

The key words are “he decided”. He decided this for me.

In an ideal world, he would express his concerns and present this as a suggestion. I would take some time to reflect on it, decide I truly love him and make every possible arrangement to step outside of my comfort zone and at least give it a try for the sake of our relationship. I would buy a dildo or a starter set of butt plugs. I would finger myself and get used to the sensation. And I would mentally prepare for the main event by pairing these activities with fantasies of my boyfriend’s hairy body on top of me.

As you might have guessed, that wasn’t what happened! He emotionally manipulated me to give in, stating that it would be a “big problem” if he didn’t get to fuck me. He would physically try to hold me down, then turn the tables on me when I tried to fight back and accidentally “hurt” him. He would try to shove his fingers or cock inside of me without any form of foreplay, and I would repeatedly say “no”. No, no, no! After tears were shed and voices were raised, he’d call me a “big baby”, roll over to the other side of the bed and repeat the process when we woke up the next day.

I realize that a story like this is more appropriate for my therapist’s couch than the pages of Manhunt Daily. I’m just hoping that, maybe, if I share what I went through, it will prevent someone else from making the same mistakes. Nobody should feel pressured to bottom until they’re ready for it.

This is where I have to give MEN.COM credit. Charlie’s character might feel pressure from Scotty, but as soon as he walks out the door, it’s Charlie himself who makes the decision to give up his hole. He’s eager to learn. He wants to get fucked. And once I “manned up” enough to skim through this video, I saw that Colby Jansen did a great job at respecting his body, communicating with him and bringing out the submissive bottom daddy slut inside of him.

– Dewitt

Photo credit: MEN.COM

Discuss this topic and take a peek at Charlie Harding’s bottoming debut below:

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Charlie Harding bottoms for Colby Jansen in a gay porn scene for Top To Bottom.

Watch Colby Jansen pop Charlie Harding’s onscreen cherry now on MEN.COM.



15 thoughts on “Have You Ever: Been Pressured To Bottom For Someone?

  1. Dewitt, thank you for sharing such a personal story. There are so many young gays out there that can hopefully benefit from this. Emotional, mental and physical abuse is not just for hetero couples. Porn, while hot, can really send the wrong messages (not necessarily this one) sometimes and essentially glorify rape because “hey, we’re all dudes, it’s okay”.

  2. My first BF tried this with me repeatedly….no foreplay, no ass play, no ANYTHING, just the old spit n shove….well I never could get relaxed enough and it freaked me out to the point that I was never able to bottom until about 15 years later. And honestly, I never wanted to because he was so rough and forceful when trying. When I finally did, it was on MY terms and MY decision. I do think that versatility is the key to successful relationships though so things don’t get boring. It just has to be when the catcher is ready and willing and the pitcher is willing to be patient and help facilitate the process. Seems most bottoms, then they decide to top, forget what it was like the first few times for them.

  3. I’ve been pushed to top a guy AND bottom for another. For both, I didn’t. It’s not that I wouldn’t want to sleep with a guy as either, but when pushed – I do not have an attraction any further and my interest, along with my hard-on, go south. And I am sorry, Dewitt, that your previous partner couldn’t find a more appropriate way to discuss with you his issues with your sexual relationship. I know I have an issue with my ex over how comfortable I am with so much in regards to sexual experiences, and he is oddly prudish with me but not with others. He admitted I look too “naive/sweet”, even though he mentally knows I’m more relaxed about different sexual activities than he is.

  4. Dewitt thanks for sharing I know it could not have been easy I often brag about being a TOTAL TOP ( Which I am ) but I also have enough respect for the person that I am with as well myself without having to force someone to do something that they do not want to do . The conversation should always be open for discussion without it becoming borderline attempted rape ! Dewitt I generally like to give you a lot of grief ( LOL when appropriate ) but I appreciate your being MAN enough to share what must be a very personal & painful memory !!!

  5. This story has a personal connection for me as well, but I was the one on the other side. But perhaps my story might give a little perspective on the one who is putting the pressure on. I’m predominately a bottom. I rarely ever top or want to. When I do I usually top for a few minutes than switch. My ex was (supposedly ) a virgin bottom and a strict top when we met. I was always skeptical because he had a few long term guys before me and he swore he never did certain things until me. He claimed his two other long term hookups were also tops, so all they ever did was oral. He said he never swallowed before, despite these guys being regular hookups for two years and 8months respectively, yet swallowed my load after just a few weeks. After being together 8 months and me getting pounded by him a few times a week, he gave up his ass to me. Imagine my disappointment when he wasn’t very tight. He carried on like I was splitting him in two of, but I barely felt any friction (I’m not small) . Once we did it he wanted a lot in the beginning, but always carried on like it was torture the first few minutes. Except the one time I pretended to be asleep and he jumped on and took every inch in one thrust. After a while he started doing it less and less saying he enjoyed but it hurt too much and he had to be in the “”right mood. ” I found it confusing became he had been bottoming and once he adjusted to my cock in him he became quite the intense bottom . I respected his wishes though and didn’t force the issue. Fast forward a bit and we plan a threesome with his favorite type. We had talked about all of us topping and bottoming before hand, but I didn’t expect my ex to be into as much as he was considering the other guy was bigger than me. well he took that cock hard and long. I came first time, my ex started doing the other guy doggies. I walked away and saw my ex lean over and whisper something in his ear. Next thing you know my ex is on his back getting fucked AGAIN! I later found out the whisper was “wanna fuck me again?” I thought it was odd he waited for me to walk away android whispered it. Before I told him I saw the whisper he tried to tell me the other guy had asked to fuck him again and my ex said he only agreed because he wanted to finish up. A few month later I suspected him of cheating. He had in the past, but worked hard to get me back. I had a friend set him up. It barely took any time at all and my ex was turning on his webcam and shoving very large toys up his ass. . He admitted to other cheating but swore he never bottomed for any others beside myself and our Threeway friend. Also still claims he never swallowed anyone else’s load. As you can imagine I was devastated by his behavior. He made me feel as if him bottoming for me was something I should be so grateful for and appreciate him allowing me to do it when he didn’t enjoy it. Clearly he did. I’m not saying this is common, and I’m sorry for the long rant. It’s just my story and I thought it might show how the other side might be made to feel sometimes. Clearly no one should be forced or pressured to do something they don’t want to do. But sometimes there are parts of a story we don’t always know. I have often been made to feel I’m inferior because I’m a bottom and in this case he made me feel like I didn’t deserve his ass.

  6. Thank you for sharing this, Dewitt. I know when I was younger I had been forced to bottom for guys I had been with, and it completely turned me off to anal sex (topping or bottoming, and I’m in my 30s now). As you can imagine, this does nothing for my sex life. 🙁

  7. Thank you for sharing. Sex should always be negotiated in the mature way that you mentioned in the ideal scenario. Unfortunately, sex is surrounded by all kinds of idiosyncratic frustrations, walls and obstacles for people. Often we blunder and mishandle delicate issues, especially while young and inexperienced.
    For me, I ended a relationship once because of the opposite. I was always expected to bottom, which carried connotations in the relationship that since I was ‘the bottom’ I was the ‘sub’ and therefore the inferior. Needless to say, this was not a long standing dynamic.

  8. I’ve never been pressured and have only had the opportunity to be a bottom once, but his dick was too fat for my tight virgin ass! 🙁 No matter what we tried, it would not go in…maybe I was too nervous and we didn’t get the entrance ready enough! hahaha waaaahhh! 🙁 That was the last guy I was with…haven’t been with anyone else and lost touch with him…otherwise my hole would be his goal!

  9. Indeed, this is definitely NOT hot. My first time (and most likely last time) bottoming… and really anything anal… was due to pressure. I ended up being raped because of it. Probably one of many reasons why I can’t find someone as no gay man wants to be in a relationship with someone who was raped and now will never fully see themselves as beautiful because they were violated (especially in a cliche environment like my home state). Men should stop thinking with their dicks, and more with their hearts and brains.

  10. sure have. a guy wanted me to bottom so he could fuck my tight ass but in the end he was angry cause it was to tight lol. but nothing lube and fingering cant fix

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