Some of you had issues with a post entitled "Now You Can Keep Stereotypes In Your Pocket!", with one commenter writing, "…it's jerks like you Dewitt who make it hard for us gay guys who actually do, unfortunately (by your standards), do embody some gay stereotypes–through no control of our own–to be accepted not just by the straights but also by our own community."
I'm not sure if I made this clear in the post, but my issues with the My Ty iPhone application had nothing to do with the character's "fabulous" nature and everything to do with his implied bitchiness. We're not all gossipy queens like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and seeing that stereotype perpetuated is what drives me crazy. Honestly, public figures or fictional characters who run around calling people "ugly" or "dumb bitches" aren't going to unite our community or help us gain acceptance. And yes, you can control the drama.
Should My Ty lock his limp wrist and "butch it up"? No. This has nothing to do with effeminate qualities that some jerk-offs would consider "stereotypical". Just because your voice is a little higher, that doesn't make you a stereotype. Just because you walk with a little swish, that doesn't make you a stereotype. And even if it does, that's something you actually can't control without pretending to be someone you're not.
Speaking of which, I've been told by editors in the past that I need to "gay it up" for some of my pieces. When I stared back at them with blank eyes, they told me, "You know… make it bitchier, snarky." O RLY? I thought I just had to suck a dick or two to get my gay card… but apparently I have to be an asshole too.
Now that I've gotten all of that off of my chest, I'd like to direct you to Brent Hartinger's excellent piece on AfterElton regarding matters of effeminacy and the gay bias towards masculine qualities.
– Dewitt
Well said. And good clarification (even though I understood you the first time around). Particularly noted: “And yes, you *can* control the drama…” 😉
nice
Props
And thank you SOOO much for keeping the “gayin it up” to a minimum. I actually like some of the articles on here, and if it was to go that direction I’d be quick to not come back
Ha, Im really getting over the whole gay guys trying to basically be straight. I hate when guys try to act straighter just to fit in, same as i hate the guys who act gayer, for comic affect, or to give themselves a personality. Just be yourself. why is that so hard?
As far as gays trying to cling to heterosexuality for self acceptance purposes, no matter how buff you are, or “straight acting” you say you are(on a gay hookup website none the less), or whatever you are still a cock sucking fag like the rest of us. embrace it. enjoy it. and move on.
Gosh there are many similarities between the gay community and the african american community.
Read your post, Dewitt, and read it again. And a third time. And I’m still confused as to your meaning.
You say that “We’re not all gossipy queens” (gee, does that sound familiar), and “seeing that stereotype perpetuated is what drives me crazy”. Yet a look back through various posts of yours, including the one at http://www.manhuntdaily.com/2009/06/adam-lambert-is-so-straight.html, tells a totally different story.
You say that you hate that stereotype, but in that article (as in others), you seem to be contradicting what you say here. Consider this comment in that Lambert article:
“Not only do these two men hold hands, but they probably bob up and down in one another’s laps. With penises in their mouths.”
How can that be construed as anything but catty? Comments like that place you squarely in the same league as Perez Hilton, who finds satisfaction and profit from badmouthing other people and discussing things that he knows nothing about and are none of his business.
If your beef with the My Ty is the character’s “implied bitchiness” and “perpetuating an image of gay men as bitchy queens”, then how can you continue to make comments like “they’ve definitely slurped on one another’s peens”?
I’ll say it again–you’re doing a huge disservice to the gay community. We’re not all queens. We’re not all effeminate. We don’t all talk in high voices with lisps or “swish” when we walk. We don’t all go limp-wristed and teary-eyed when Labelle launches into “Over The Rainbow”.
We are trying to get the rest of the world to wake up to the fact that we’re not so different. We’ve got smart people and dumb people. We’ve got people who are kind and people who are assholes. Save for one tiny, insignificant detail, we are no different from our heterosexual counterparts. Yet people like you keep casting us in an unflattering light by embodying every negative thing that has ever been said about us.
So I ask you, Dewitt, with every bit of faith and good will–what are you going to do NOW?
Incidentally, if your current editors are telling you to be “bitchier, snarky”, have them read the comments to your posts from the readers of Manhunt Daily. If they think bitchier is the way to go, they’re fools.