Today, I learned that turtles have gigantic penises. This apparently isn’t a huge secret. Their dicks are half the length of their entire bodies, and sometimes they like to just flop around and show ’em off. Crazy, right? What’s even crazier (or more embarrassing) is […]
Category: Television
Stephen Colbert’s Eulogy For Straight America
To any straight people reading this blog (I know you came here by mistake thinking we were some sort of crime update), that headline isn’t what you think. Straight America isn’t dead and gone. We’re probably going to be a hetero-oriented country for some time […]
He’s Gay, Too: Tuc Watkins
Every once in a while, everyone comes out at the same time. This is one of those months! Tuc Watkins is a hot actor who was on Desperate Housewives (as one half of the gay couple) and on famed soap One Life To Live. Being […]
Adam Driver Is Insane & I Think I Might Be Head Over Heels, Balls-Deep In Love With Him?
Adam Driver plays Lena Dunham‘s mentally unstable and oddly attractive love interest on the HBO series Girls. But you already knew that! What you might not know, however, is that he’s kind of crazy in real life. The 29 year-old actor posed in a shoot […]
This Week’s TV Crush(es): Max Thieriot and Mike Vogel From “Bates Motel”
Bates Motel on A&E is a big ole’ crazy mess but it’s fun AND NO ONE SPOIL ME ON THE LAST EPISODE BECAUSE I HEARD SOMETHING BIG HAPPENS AND I’LL SMITE YOU IF YOU DO! Freddie Highmore struggles to lose his British accent as teen Norman […]
Would You Hit That?: Idris Elba
Idris Elba pretty much has an open invitation to stick his dick in me whenever he wants. I will lick his balls, sit on his face and take him in every position imaginable (especially this one), all whilst grabbing onto his muscular round ass, pushing […]
This Week’s TV Crush: Parker Young
I don’t watch Suburgatory. I know Jeremy Sisto’s in it, and he’s stocky hot. Otherwise, it means little to me. I hope I didn’t miss this Parker Young dude rebelling against ABC’s Standards & Practices Dept. by twirling his cock or something. He did an […]
Proclaiming The Hotness Of Macklemore (And Ryan Lewis Too!)
The MTV Movie Awards is a huge bullshit-fest, and a gaudy excuse for inconsequential people to shill their latest products. It’s kind of like Home Shopping Network but with more cocaine consumption. However, a highlight this year was Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ performance of their […]
Your New TV Crush: Dylan Bruce From “Orphan Black”
If you’re into sci-fi, police drama, and mysteries – you should check out BBC America’s Orphan Black. And not just because Canadian actor Dylan Bruce plays the main character’s fuck buddy. He is so pokeable, and has a really nice body, and I want to […]
Nico Tortorella Takes A Bubble Bath, Remains Adorable In Brand New Photo Shoot
So what if his character on The Following is a fantastically disturbing psychopath? Nico Tortorella is a beautiful man who cuddles with puppies, takes bubble baths and has a smile that could melt your pants off. While the actor’s latest photo shoot for Visual Tales […]











