There’s so much “awwww” in this video. It’s also somewhat confusing because I’m hard for Matthew Mitcham, but then the dog is so cute that having a boner while thinking it’s cute makes my boner seriously perverted. So the boner has to go. But then […]
My favorite thing about Oklahoma duo QTFCKS is that their press photos look like they should be promoting a new, steamy backroom series on Dominic Ford or MEN.COM. My second favorite thing about Oklahoma duo QTFCKS is their latest track “Every Song”, which reminded me […]
Let’s face it, Avril Lavigne’s job, more than anything else, has always been to simply go out there and do exactly what she’s told, and for the past decade, she’s evidently been told to be annoying. There’s never been a time when Avril Lavigne wasn’t […]
Remember this kid? If he hadn’t hit puberty and joined Kazaky, he would have posted a new YouTube vid in which he informed all of Richard Simmons’ many competitors that they are, indeed, basic. Richard just fucked us in our twink asses with “Hair Do” and […]
Sit your ass down, Madonna, and respect your elders! The eternal goddess known as Cher, a diva approved by Mother Monster, has finally released the music video for her comeback single “Woman’s World“, and it is ferociously fierce in ways I can’t even begin to […]
Enrique Iglesias owes me some DICK! That hot motherfucker came over to my house last night straight up BEGGING Ms. Boulangerié Knowles to finger-fuck his man coochie and hit ALL his sweet spots, and you know what I said to him? Hell FUCKING yes! He […]
On the morning of August 19, Mother Monster blessed us by releasing the visuals for her legendary new single “Applause“. My friend Dewitt was too busy writing about some irrelevant hack named Neko Case to take notice, so I took it into my paws to […]
After hearing “Roar” on the radio more times than I would have liked to this weekend, becoming fatigued with the attention-seeking antics of Lady Gaga and feeling increasingly violated by the omnipresence of “Blurred Lines“, it would not be inaccurate to say that I’m frustrated […]
Are you #TeamRoar or #TeamApplause? Does that little slut Justin Bieber have a nice ass, or should he go away for the rest of eternity? Do you believe that Boulangerié Knowles got quintuple-penetrated by both The Wanted and South Korean girl group f(x)? Are you […]
It ain’t easy being Ms. Boulangerié Knowles! Right after I got quintuple-penetrated by The Wanted, I was wiping Max George‘s CUM off my forehead when these five chicks rolled up looking serious as FUCK. They told me their names were Victoria, Amber, Luna, Sulli and […]
